Random Thoughts from the Southern Outpost - Day 3

Some random thoughts from Day 3 of the ACC basketball tournament in Atlanta ...

• Today started out with the Atlanta St. Patrick's Day Parade...I don't know if it was the weather (40 degrees and rainy) or the lack of Irish descendants in the Atlanta area, but it's the first time I can honestly say I saw more people in a parade than those watching it. Seriously, Atlanta...what was the point?

• This is my 12th year coming to the ACC tournament and every year I am amazed at the loathing and sheer hatred for North Carolina and Duke by the other 10 ACC schools. If you weren't blatantly rooting for North Carolina or Duke today, you were hoping for a Florida State/Maryland final. Is that really a matchup anyone wants to see?

• Is there some unwritten rule that says pep band directors can't use songs from the last 5 years? I think I heard 3 recent songs the entire weekend so far (Coldplay's "Viva la Vida", Kanye West's "Golddigger", and the White Stripes "Seven Nation Army"). But for every one of those, I heard tons of songs from the '70s and '80s (to just name a few: a-ha's "Take on Me", Pat Benatar's "Heartbreaker", and the Edgar Winter Group's "Free Ride"). What about Katy Perry's "Hot N Cold" or Justin Timberlake's "Sexyback"? Why am I being tortured by the 3rd rendition of the B-52's "Love Shack"?

• The next installment of debatable topics from my friend Kyle...today's issue is: with the automakers getting massive amounts of money in the bailout, why is Chevrolet still sponsoring $1000 scholarships for the college basketball Players of the Game?

• Why would anyone want to work or play for Gary Williams at Maryland? All game he does nothing but constantly turn to the bench and yell at or berate a coach or player about events that just happened in the game.

• In person, I have seen how truly crappy the officiating is...I'm not sure the referees know what traveling is anymore. They are pretty good about correctly getting the step without a dribble to start a drive towards the hoop, but they are completely missing anything to do with a pivot foot or blatant steps especially underneath the basket.

• Based on fans' comments, I'm not sure they understand what "over the back" is...if we both jump up straight and I reach over you, that's clean...otherwise why would I ever jump if you were between me and the ball? According to your ignorant protests and pleas every time a properly boxed-out, offensive player touched or even rebounded the ball he should be whistled for over the back.

• Although requested from fellow editor Bearcat, I do not have pictures of the Florida State cheerleaders...however, I have a picture (albeit very grainy and out of focus) of ESPN's own Howie Schwab trying to show that he has some game.


The Schwab was walking through the hotel lobby around midnight or so when a young man (second from the left in the picture) called him over to say hello. Apparently the Schwab and this guy hit it off and he was asked to join the table. By 1am, it was just 4 of them left at the table and by 2:15am (when this photo was taken) things had become much cozier. Here's hoping the young blonde on the right got a chance to Stump the Schwab.

Check back tomorrow for more random thoughts from Day 4 of the ACC tournament.

Thanks for coming and suckling Daddy's Sugar Ball...

Random Thoughts from the Southern Outpost - Day 2

Some random thoughts from Day 2 of the ACC basketball tournament in Atlanta...

• North Carolina, Florida State, and Duke all had to come back in the last minute of their games today to advance to the semi-finals. That means all three are still alive to be the NCAA champion in 3 weeks. Why? Because no team has ever been bounced from the conference tournament in their first round of play and gone on to win the big dance. So...when you fill out those brackets, leave Pittsburgh, UConn, Clemson, Wake Forest, Kansas, and Oklahoma out of your Champion slot. Then again, maybe it just means they're due...

• For the second day in a row, ticket availability here has been easier than Lindsay Lohan after some drinks and a couple of lines of coke. This would be great if my friends and I were only buyers in this market...however, because of the continual upgrades to our seats that we have made we now hold 8 extra tickets for the rest of the weekend. I can't tell if it's the location (Atlanta compared to the more ACC-centric North Carolina venues), the stadium (the Georgia Dome compared to basketball-only arenas), or the dismal state of the economy. Whatever the reason, all the scalpers here are taking a bath...at least until Duke & UNC make the Sunday final.

• Toney Douglas got jobbed in the ACC Player of the Year voting. North Carolina's own Ty Lawson topped Douglas to win this year. However, Douglas was the leading scorer in the ACC and was voted the Defensive Player of the Year. And after sitting through a painful Florida State/Georgia Tech game today it became crystal clear that Douglas single-handedly carries this team. On top of all that FSU is coached by the perpetually inept Leonard Hamilton and for Douglas to carry them to a #4 seed in this conference tournament is remarkable.

• Apparently a new mini-feature from this trip will be debatable topics from my friend Kyle...today's issue is: what is the most boring job? Kyle contends it's the person responsible for sitting at the no re-entry point at an airport. They have to sit there without a book or a tv and with minimal contact with another human being (since when's the last time you actually tried to re-enter the gate area?) Please share your most boring jobs in the comments below.

• Speaking of airports...how come for carry-on luggage we have to limit our liquids/gels to 3 ounces per container, yet I could probably fit about 6 items in a clear ziploc bag making a total of 18 ounces? So I have to throw away a 4.5 ounce container of shaving cream but I can have a cumulative of 18 ounces of flammable/ignitable/destructive gel and/or liquid? I'm glad this makes sense to the TSA, because it makes no sense to me...

• Does anyone else remember when hotel pay-per-view would let you view a movie for a minute before they would charge your room for the flick? When I was younger than I am today and could take care of business in a hurry, this feature was a godsend for the fiscally responsible masturbators of the world. Needless to say, this "perk" is no longer available in today's hotel rooms (or at least the one I'm staying in).

• Here's the previously promised picture from my seats. Keep in mind this was taken from a crappy camera phone that has absolutely no zoom feature (or at least one that I can find). This picture shows Georgia Tech coach Paul Hewitt gathering his squad around him for a late-game timeout. Based on the Yellow Jackets' performance, one can only guess Hewitt is doodling penises on the white board for the team.


Check back tomorrow for more random thoughts from Day 3 of the ACC tournament.

Thanks for coming and suckling Daddy's Sugar Ball...

Random Thoughts from the Southern Outpost

Some random thoughts from Day 1 of the ACC basketball tournament in Atlanta...

• Does anyone really want to see any seed higher than a #8 in ANY conference basketball tournament? This would limit all tournaments to 3 days and actually make things interesting in the regular season to make the top 8 (especially in big-numbered conferences like the Big East and Big 12). That was evident here in Atlanta where you couldn't give tickets away for the afternoon session of Virginia Tech/Miami and Clemson/Georgia Tech.

• As much as I know about basketball, I know nothing. The previously mentioned afternoon session proved that beyond belief. I both lost my ESPN streak and my centsports.com account amount on a parlay on Miami giving away 3.5 points (only to lose by 18 pts) and Clemson giving away 9.5 points (only to lose outright by 5 pts).

• Sidney Lowe, head coach of the North Carolina State Wolfpack, is easily the worst coach in the ACC and without much thought I would say the worst coach in D1. Every inbounds play from the frontcourt was purposely thrown to the safety valve in the backcourt. EVERY play. Let me see if I have this right...the ball is 8 feet from the basket, but instead I'll hurl it 55 feet away to start an unsuccessful and poorly conceived play that uses 33 of the 35 seconds play clock. He must have pictures of the AD with an underage sheep or something...how he still has a job is beyond me.

• Apparently Terrell Owens was at the afternoon session for the Georgia Tech/Clemson game. I didn't run into him, nor did I see him. Because if I did and in the grand tradition of all that is right on DSB, I would have taught him a lesson (or at least harrassed him mercilessly).

• From my friend Kyle comes this topic that is up for debate...from a non-basketball perspective, who's more miserable after their deadline trade deal - Vladimir Radmanivoc or Adam Morrison? Morrison is a plaid-wearing, country bumpkin from the meth lab, trailer park town that is known as Spokane. And now he's in La-La Land with the Paris Hiltons of the world. Or is it Radmanovic who was a staple on the LA club scene who is now relegated to the genteel, southern charm in Charlotte? I'm favoring Radmanovic...but it's a lot closer than I expected.

• After watching 10 hours of ACC basketball, we retired to the hotel bar and got sucked into the UConn/Syracuse 6 OT classic. How great was this game? I know in this ESPN-dominated society we tend to overhype the just happened events as the greatest ever. But this one deserves some serious discussion on that topic. Even Len Elmore told me the same thing in the hotel elevator.

• While at the hotel bar, I spoke with some guys in waste management from Knoxville, Tennessee and learned some interesting things. Mind you...at this point it is all rumor and cannot be substantiated by me...but I'm going to reprint the story anyway. Apparently, about 2 years ago Bruce Pearl (head basketball coach at UT) was going though a messy divorce and was pretty much screwing every coed in sight on the campus. And in some form of retribution his wife opened up a dress shop in Knoxville named Alimony. Nice touch!

• One more fact I picked up at the hotel bar - - 0% of drunk douchebags are successful at hitting on cocktail waitresses at hotel bars. This inebriated asshole from Maryland was relentless in his pursuit only to get Heismaned in the end. Do you think it had to do with the fact that you kept pointing to your Cash (for Johnny) t-shirt and shouting "Straight Cash Homey"? I do...

Check back tomorrow for more random thoughts and in tomorrow's post I'll include pictures from my seat to make everyone out there jealous.

Thanks for coming and suckling Daddy's Sugar Ball...