College Basketball and Links...

Welcome back to DSB and prepare yourself for a craptastic edition of the Thursday Links.

First a couple thoughts about College Basketball…

It’s March so we are officially entering one of the best times of the year to be a sports fan. You have baseball warming up, even more so this year with the World Baseball Classic. But more importantly we have Championship week, Selection Sunday and the NCAA tournament (the greatest playoff system in sports). My preliminary thoughts of the up coming tournament: Pitt, UConn, and Oklahoma and UNC are the favorites and they should be. Couple teams that I am looking at closely: LSU (going to win what looks like an unimpressive SEC), UCLA (Not impressive in the PAC-10 but can they make the Final Four…AGAIN?), Louisville (you know I love those Big East teams and they could win the Big East regular season and end up a 1 seed), Michigan State (Izzo can get it done), Mizzou (I did not see this team all year until they dropped the hammer on Oklahoma, DeMarre Carroll was impressive and they looked strong against a solid OK team.) But what the fuck do I know about college basketball? Year-in-year-out I am reminded that I know nothing about college basketball but I do know on thing... College Basketball is going to be changed (for the better) by the NBA's economic meltdown.

Every year at this time we talk about who the big players are and are they going to stick around for another year or are they going to jump at the chance of becoming instant millionaires thanks to the NBA Draft. Mark my words… If a player has the chance to get drafted he will go THIS year. Guys are not going to sit around and wait another year to get paid this time around hoping to be a lottery pick next year. Example A: DeJuan Blair of Pitt. He is the perfect example for this posting because he is not a lock to be a lottery pick this year and I watch a lot of Pitt basketball. He is really good, and might have a very solid NBA career but he does not have the prototypical body that NBA coaches and GMs look for in a center. DeJuan Blair will go this year even if he is not projected as a lottery pick. Everyone else will go as well. Why? Because they have to. The NBA is going to have a lockout. It is going to happen after the 2010-2011 season and it is going to be a blood bath. It needs to be a blood bath for the owners to make it worth their while. The NBA is hemorrhaging cash like General Motors. Things are so bad that they had to take a loan out that is between 175-200 million dollars in order to cover operating costs (i.e. salaries). Bill Simmons in what might be his best column in a long time put it best by calling it the No Benjamins League.

So what does this have to do with College Basketball getting better? Right now everything. Players were jumping ship at an alarming rate just a few years ago to cash in on the riches of the NBA, it was serious problem for the feeder system (college basketball) and for the NBA, young players unable to handle it on and off the court. The NBA reacted by instituting the age limit of 19 years old for draft eligibility. This helped both college basketball and the NBA. The college game got players who might have just jumped right to the NBA out of high school or held on to some talent and the NBA theoretically got a more mature player. Guess what is going to happen this year. The college ranks are going to empty out. Anyone over 19 and capable of dribbling a basketball is going to declare for the draft over the next two seasons. They would be stupid not to. There are only two seasons of NBA basketball left to play before we are going to see a lockout. A lockout is going to happen and it will last one season if not possibly more. These guys have got to declare now so that they can get paid. Better to have two season of earning three million dollars than to have one season of getting paid five, and that’s IF your draft stock goes up between now and next year (notice the big if). These players have to assume a lockout is coming. They have to prepare for it and the agents are going to tell them this. So between this year and next year expect everyone to bail on the college game. No one is staying for their senior year. So Pitt, get ready to wave goodbye to Blair. And everyone else hoping for another year with that sharpshooter point guard or another year with that forward with the sweet cross over… don’t hold your breath.

But there is good news. With a lockout comes quality players stuck in the college ranks and expect any new CBA to up the age restriction to 20 with real limits on rookie salaries. This can only improve the college game and I look forward to it. It will provide for more teams with quality players and more players staying for that forth year. Just what the college game needs. So get ready because college basketball might become really, really good.

LINKS!!!

Farts might be an aphrodisiac… good to know. Dutch Oven time honey!

Ten worst ways to break up with a woman

Twenty great beer quotes...

The hottest women of radio… You know the saying you got a face for radio? Not so for these babes.

This superhuman douche bag is charged with child abuse for turning on the clothes dryer with his one year old son inside. I have been racking my brain for an appropriate punishment. I am torn between placing him inside an industrial washer (kind of like and auto-water boarder) or forcing him to be a prison ironing board. Both might be too nice for this fuck-tard.

This weeks must click link... Six strangest objects people were caught having sex with.

Bearcat’s Not Quite Top Ten, Top Ten Worst Places To Have a Heart Attack…

10. On the toilet.
9. Airplane bathroom.
6. In the Champagne Room… there goes your American Express account.
5. While having sex with a prostitute… there goes your whole wallet.
3. Disney World… do you really want to go out with “It’s a Small World” in your head?
2. While dodging traffic.
1. During charades.

Mini Rant…

So the Cowboys dropped the terminal clubhouse cancer that is T.O. today. Well surprise, surprise…How did that fail to work out? Even after T.O. got a huge payday at the end of last season with a four year contract, he was still unhappy. Jerry Jones who is currently looking for cash to help pay for his 1 billion (as in 1000 millions) dollar cathedral to the Dallas Cowboys football stadium is going to eat nine million dollars and cut Owens. After three seasons, one attempted suicide, several locker room scuffles/meltdowns, tears, loads of bad press, epic failures to reach the playoffs and/or losses in the first round, Jerry “My hot tub is shaped like Texas Stadium…that’s right” Jones had enough. That is too bad because T.O. and Jones deserved each other; apparently there was just not enough TV time to go around between those two. So now what? My guess is either Dan Snyder is already on a private jet ready to genuflect before pancreatic cancer personified and sign him to a multi-year deal or the NFL pooper-scooper that is Al Davis will pick up this wide receiver/turd off the street and sign him to a deal with huge incentives. Either way T.O. will get paid, complain about the lack of respect, and ESPN commentators will discuss how T.O. only wants to play football and that he is misunderstood. Look out here comes the Keyshawn interview now, it will probably be the Sunday Conversation. Congratulations ESPN! I am now changing the channel... Hundred bucks says T.O. wears a red and gold sweater (hint-hint). I have not heard it but I am sure there is some idiot Philly sports radio guy right now doing the drive time with this stupid line idea: "I'm not saying they should do it (long pause) but maybe the Eagles should talk to T.O. (long pause) I'm just throwing it out there. (long pause) McNabb needs a WR threat. I don't think they have to do it. (another long pause) But they were winning games when he was here... you know he can catch the ball. (long dramatic pause) I don't think they have to do it...I'm just saying. Call in to let me know what you think. You're listening to the Sports-X-Man on 1510! Yeah! Baby!" *Multiple cars drive off the highway and several men attempt to light themselves on fire in the Philly Area tonight at 6.*

Thanks for coming and suckling on Daddy's Sugar Ball...

Bearcat

DSB does the Wonderlic

With the NFL Combine in full swing this week, hundreds of prospective NFL draftees are taking the Wonderlic Test as a measure of their intellectual capacity. You can see an example of the Wonderlic here on ESPN’s page 2.

There is only one problem with the Wonderlic test … it does not properly test for the real-life football intelligence required of NFL players. Therefore, DSB now presents the new and improved NFL Combine Wonderlic test. You have 20 minutes to finish this test; 45 minutes if you are a defensive lineman or Vince Young.

Question 1

Your have five baby mommas and seven babies residing in three different states. What percentage of your signing bonus can you expect to keep?

A. 100% (Those kids don’t look anything like me, Maury!)
B. 55% (Yeah, those my kids but Daddy needs to put a new Lambo in the garage.)
C. 25% (I have a crappy lawyer)
D. 0% (Travis Henry will be buying me lunch after my rookie season)

Question 2

You have been informed that your name is on next month’s list for a random drug test. What do you do?

A. Cycle off, duh.
B. Pick up a Whizzinator on the way home
C. Contact Bill Romanowski
D. Go home, toke up, and forget about it … what’s the worst that can happen?

Question 3

Cocaine sells for between $80-$100 a gram. If one of your “buddies” has 100 grams burning a hole in his pocket and needs to get rid of it what do you do?

A. Call Santonio Holmes
B. Call up the strippers … House Party!!!
C. Keep it for game day, it worked for LT
D. Cut it and cook it down to make crack there by doubling the street value. Simple economics.

Question 4

You have just signed a six year contract and are the highest paid player at your position. How do you celebrate this momentous occasion?

A. What’s momentous?
B. Find my buddy with the “stuff” burning a hole in his pocket and call in the strippers.
C. Ask Matt Leinart to come on over and to bring his “friends”
D. Go on ESPN and throw a tantrum about how you are finally getting paid and you can now feed your family.

Question 5

Finish this sentence: I ain’t getting ________.

A. Respect
B. Paid
C. Respect or Paid

Question 6

You child is five years old. You are 21 years old. How old will you be when you can stop paying child support?

A. For this kid or the last kid?
B. Who pays child support?
C. I already told you in question one that ain’t my f’ing kid.
D. 13 years, 2 months and 5 days. But who’s counting?

Question 7

There are four quarters in a football game. You had eight tackles during the game. How many tackles per quarter did you average?

A. More than the white defensive lineman and he just got a new three year deal!
B. Those weren’t tackles they were executions.
C. Four
D. If the defensive coordinator wasn’t a racist I would have that new deal.

Question 8

What is the NFL’s fine for this end zone celebration?


A. $10,000
B. It does not matter. I am an entertainer … this is the cost of my art.
C. My shoe deal will cover it.
D. Two months child support. Sorry kids.

Question 9

Finish this sentence: In the strip club, I ________.

A. Make it rain on dem hoes …
B. Get grabby because I’m important.
C. Plan the next pleasure cruise on my boat.
D. Try to not jeopardize my Chunky Soup deal.

Question 10

What is the most dangerous part of the locker room?

A. Errant towel snaps … watch the family jewels.
B. Staph
C. Reporters
D. All those needles

Question 11

What should you do if you come into camp overweight?

A. Complain about how you don’t get any respect.
B. Blame it on a pulled hammy.
C. Get the cycle. Not the bicycle.

Question 12 (Last One!)

If you are out and about and you see Bill Belichick at dinner with the team doctor’s wife; what do you do?

A. Give him a heads up on the Valtex you found in the medicine cabinet.
B. Avoid eye contact and leave. When the team doctor mysteriously disappears next week you know nothing.
C. Give Bill a heads up about the GM’s daughter. She likes it rough.
D. Meet coach in the team confessional and accept your penance (10% pay cut to make room under the cap)

Thanks for coming and suckling on Daddy’s Sugar Ball...

Bearcat