Showing posts with label Top Ten. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Top Ten. Show all posts

3.17.2009

St. Patty's Day and Links

First happy St. Patrick's day to all our readers. Go have a beer and remember to drink a Jameson...


Today we debut a new addition to my weekly Link posting called The Jerk Store… basically it is a list of who I think are the DSB jerks of the week…So here it is the DSBs Jerks of the week


All those Hockey Jerks that think the NHL should ban fighting:

Why you are Jerks: With all the problems in hockey this…THIS is what you feel is needed to change hockey? Eliminate the fights? Every time I attend a hockey game (which is not as often as it should be) I hope that I leave there with the ability to describe it the next day as: “I went to the fights last night and a hockey game broke out.” I root for the goons. I like the goons. This is the scenario: We are going to put 5 guys on ice with glove that are over sized and restrict movement, sticks of wood, aluminum and carbon fiber and they are going to try to put a six ounce piece of vulcanized rubber into a small net guarded by a guy wearing enough padding to stop a bullet. By the way this is all going to happen in a rink, which is a nice way of saying cage. Yes, this is incredibly frustrating but if you fight with the other players who are also wearing pads just like you we are going to ban you from the game. You have got to give these guys a release… and a reason for people to show up. Just like NASCAR races are only cool when they have huge wreck some hockey games are only fun to watch when the player drop the gloves.


The Philadelphia Eagles and Dan Leone

Why they are Jerks: The Philadelphia Eagles fired game-day employee Dan Leone because he criticized the team on Facebook. Seriously.

Dan Leone, a West Gate Chief (WTF is that?) and a six year employee for the Eagles, called him himself "fucking devastated" because safety Brian Dawkins had signed with Denver
, adding that the Eagles are "retarded." I agree with the retarded portion of his Facebook update...The Eagles are retarded but not for having let Dawkins go.

I know this is not a free speech issue, it's an employer-employee issue. Leone is obviously a die-hard fan after seeing pictures of him wearing those gag-inducing throwback jersey colors on local TV. Should his peripheral employment by the team really preclude him from opining on moves by the Eagles on Facebook? Are NFL teams that petty and controlling?

You bet your ass they are. In every city that has one NFL teams are incredibly powerful. Hell, in Pittsburgh
if Dan Rooney told the city to vote an Isaly Chipped Ham Sandwich in as Mayor it would win outright. Absolute power corrupts absolutely, and the kind of power and popularity NFL teams wield enables them to not only squash Jerks like Leone, but to garner the praises of their faithful.

Was Leone
a jerk who said something stupid… I mean letting Dawkins go (for a six year contract) was not all that bad a move. Did he overreact? Of course. By default (he is an Eagles fan), but he was a game day employee. So the question is this:
Is Eagles management trolling Facebook looking for negative remarks (would not surprise me) or did some fellow employee forward a link? If the later is the case then that guy is a Jerk too.


Cory Lidle’s Widow... Yeah that’s right, I’m going there!

Why she is a Jerk: On October 11, 2006 Cory Lidle drove a hard line drive into the center field wall…Wait that’s not right… he drove his plane into a Manhattan apartment building killing his co-pilot/instructor and himself. Now his widow Melanie Lidle is suing the airplane manufacturer for 50 million dollars. This 50 million fucking dollars figure is based on his former agent claiming that Lidle would have made 45 million dollars as a player/coach in baseball. WTF? Lidle was 35 and going to make 3 million dollars the next year playing baseball for the one team that arguably overpays everyone the New York Yankees. How the fuck was this guy going to make 45 million playing ball over the rest of rapidly diminishing playing career? Also remember that the NTSB, who tend to do a pretty good job regarding determining the cause of plane crashes, ruled pilot error (add that stat to the back of his baseball card).


Jerk Hall of Fame:

Billy Packer: Undeniably a lifelong Jerk…

Why he is a Hall of Fame Jerk: Beyond the recent stories of Billy Packer hiring a psychic to solve the O.J. Simpson murders (another Jerk HOF nominee) Packer has been a point of contention for all March Madness watchers in the past due to his curmudgeon attitude and crack pot analysis of college basketball and especially coaching. I had in the past regrettably defended CBS for keeping him on the air saying it gave us something to bitch about. If you are a frequent reader of DSB you know that the writers here love to bitch. So when CBS dropped him before this year’s college basketball season it was (at least for me) kind of bittersweet. A quick rundown of Packer’s best jerk moments: In 1996 during a Georgetown v. Villanova game Packer called Iverson a “tough monkey” and later was forced to apologize. In 2000, Packer before a men's basketball game in Cameron Indoor Stadium, stated, "Since when do we let women control who gets into a men's basketball game? Why don't you go find a women's game to let people into?" when the female student working security asked Packer to show his press pass. One word. Classy. Couple these incidents with his comments about St. John’s not being worthy of a number 1 seed prior to them making the Elite Eight, trashing the #1 slot earned by an undefeated Indiana State team headed by Larry Bird and only defeated by Magic Johnson in the championship game and the very public misfire of 2006 where Packer stated that the mid-majors did not deserve inclusion at the expense of “better” teams from larger conferences…needless to say Packer was eating crow when the Wichita State Shockers (a Bearcat favorite), Bradley and George Mason (in the Final Four) became to zenith of a Cinderella story Tourney. But nothing beats his use of the word “fag” in 2007 during an interview with Charlie Rose. "I can assure you I will use that phrase again and I won't think twice about it," Packer told the Philadelphia Inquirer.

"I said he fagged out on me, and it had nothing to do with sexual connotation," Packer, 67, said Wednesday in a phone interview. "I got to know Charlie a number of years ago and have great admiration for his program and intellect." Nothing like getting called to the carpet and saying: “Fuck it. Like I care what you think.”

This March will have a little less Madness without him… which is fine. Because it is supposed to be about basketball… with Billy Packer around it was always about Billy Packer.

So to you Billy Packer I say: The Jerk Store called and they are all out of YOU…


LINKS!!!


The ten most racist moments on TV...


Whores are using social networks to drum up business. Really... twittering for tricks. You can't make this stuff up.


MacGyver the movie is in the works... Awesome!


15 super hot women from Venezuela


Sex Myths Debunked


Video!!!


I am pretty sure that Max Power has railed against the D-Bag that is Pete Wentz... now you have another reason to think this guy is a tool





wow... what a douche

The number of boarder jumpers escaping from this van after it barrel rolls is unreal... but hey we don't have an immigration problem or anything.



Bearcat’s Not Quite Top Ten, Top Ten Game Shows that Sucked.

10. Hollywood Squares (I’ll take Jm J. Bullock for the block. It’s fucking Tic-Tac-Toe.)

9. Card Sharks (Contestants screamed “Higher”, “Lower” or “Freeze” I screamed change the channel.)

7. Supermarket Sweep (This POS was on the air from 1990 to 1995 and then for some fuckin’ reason again from 2000-2003)

6. Shop ‘til You Drop (A game show where you shop in a fake mall looking for bargains. This show was on the air from 1991 to 2005. I can only assume some people are skipping the 2000’s and just having two 1990’s instead.)

3. The Weakest Link (Mostly because I can’t stand Anne Robinson, the smug limey bitch)

2. Wheel of Fortune (It’s fucking Hang Man.)

1. Nick Arcade/Legends of the Hidden Temple (A tie! Proof that brain dead children in America will watch anything that Nick puts on TV.)

Stuff I thought…

If only those walls could talk. I think they'd say, "I've got mesothelioma."

You know a guy who knows a guy who can really screw us over? Great...I would like two.

Someday this beautiful family heirloom will find its way to a pawn shop.

Fucking off at work can be really tiring if you don’t do it very often.

Mini Rant…(great more bitching from someone I don’t even know)

Anna Nicole Smith’s ex-boyfriend Howard K. Stern and a couple of doctors were charged this week with 11 felony counts regarding conspiracy, unlawfully prescribing a controlled substance and prescribing, administering or dispensing a controlled substance to an addict. No Shit. Really? They were providing her with drugs? Get the fuck out. The California DA who is prosecuting these sycophants described it this way: "These individuals repeatedly and excessively furnished thousands of prescription pills to Anna Nicole Smith, often for no legitimate medical purpose," You read that right thousands. A short read of any news report about these charges goes into amazing detail about the unbelievable volume of drugs that were not only provided to but ingested by the woman. The four members of Motley Crue used few drugs over the course of entire tours compared to the final five weeks of Smith. Seriously… read the reports.

Stern and company used Smith as a cash cow. She was worth billions after her sham marriage to that prune looking oil tycoon and those around her wanted access to the dollars. The best way keep that cash flowing was to keep Smith in a constant state of drug induced stupor. Howard K. Stern looks like a slime ball. From his slick hair and persona to his self righteous attitude about Anna “wishes” he has been, just like everyone else associated with this woman, repulsive. It was obvious from the beginning that he and her handlers allowed this women to live her life in a prescription drug haze that on more than one occasion hung between life and either coma or death. Stern and the doctors most likely are responsible not only for the death of this strange but at one time stunningly beautiful woman but also for her son Daniel. Following her passing it was pretty obvious that Stern thought he has hit the lottery. He made the claim to what he assumed was his daughter and even after the paternity tests showed he was not the father he attempted to gain custody via the courts. Stern and the others will never stand trial for these deaths, nor do I really think that they should…but you have to wonder if they even care. My guess is… They don’t.

Thanks for coming and suckling on Daddy’s Sugar Ball be sure to comment below.

Bearcat

3.05.2009

College Basketball and Links...

Welcome back to DSB and prepare yourself for a craptastic edition of the Thursday Links.

First a couple thoughts about College Basketball…

It’s March so we are officially entering one of the best times of the year to be a sports fan. You have baseball warming up, even more so this year with the World Baseball Classic. But more importantly we have Championship week, Selection Sunday and the NCAA tournament (the greatest playoff system in sports). My preliminary thoughts of the up coming tournament: Pitt, UConn, and Oklahoma and UNC are the favorites and they should be. Couple teams that I am looking at closely: LSU (going to win what looks like an unimpressive SEC), UCLA (Not impressive in the PAC-10 but can they make the Final Four…AGAIN?), Louisville (you know I love those Big East teams and they could win the Big East regular season and end up a 1 seed), Michigan State (Izzo can get it done), Mizzou (I did not see this team all year until they dropped the hammer on Oklahoma, DeMarre Carroll was impressive and they looked strong against a solid OK team.) But what the fuck do I know about college basketball? Year-in-year-out I am reminded that I know nothing about college basketball but I do know on thing... College Basketball is going to be changed (for the better) by the NBA's economic meltdown.

Every year at this time we talk about who the big players are and are they going to stick around for another year or are they going to jump at the chance of becoming instant millionaires thanks to the NBA Draft. Mark my words… If a player has the chance to get drafted he will go THIS year. Guys are not going to sit around and wait another year to get paid this time around hoping to be a lottery pick next year. Example A: DeJuan Blair of Pitt. He is the perfect example for this posting because he is not a lock to be a lottery pick this year and I watch a lot of Pitt basketball. He is really good, and might have a very solid NBA career but he does not have the prototypical body that NBA coaches and GMs look for in a center. DeJuan Blair will go this year even if he is not projected as a lottery pick. Everyone else will go as well. Why? Because they have to. The NBA is going to have a lockout. It is going to happen after the 2010-2011 season and it is going to be a blood bath. It needs to be a blood bath for the owners to make it worth their while. The NBA is hemorrhaging cash like General Motors. Things are so bad that they had to take a loan out that is between 175-200 million dollars in order to cover operating costs (i.e. salaries). Bill Simmons in what might be his best column in a long time put it best by calling it the No Benjamins League.

So what does this have to do with College Basketball getting better? Right now everything. Players were jumping ship at an alarming rate just a few years ago to cash in on the riches of the NBA, it was serious problem for the feeder system (college basketball) and for the NBA, young players unable to handle it on and off the court. The NBA reacted by instituting the age limit of 19 years old for draft eligibility. This helped both college basketball and the NBA. The college game got players who might have just jumped right to the NBA out of high school or held on to some talent and the NBA theoretically got a more mature player. Guess what is going to happen this year. The college ranks are going to empty out. Anyone over 19 and capable of dribbling a basketball is going to declare for the draft over the next two seasons. They would be stupid not to. There are only two seasons of NBA basketball left to play before we are going to see a lockout. A lockout is going to happen and it will last one season if not possibly more. These guys have got to declare now so that they can get paid. Better to have two season of earning three million dollars than to have one season of getting paid five, and that’s IF your draft stock goes up between now and next year (notice the big if). These players have to assume a lockout is coming. They have to prepare for it and the agents are going to tell them this. So between this year and next year expect everyone to bail on the college game. No one is staying for their senior year. So Pitt, get ready to wave goodbye to Blair. And everyone else hoping for another year with that sharpshooter point guard or another year with that forward with the sweet cross over… don’t hold your breath.

But there is good news. With a lockout comes quality players stuck in the college ranks and expect any new CBA to up the age restriction to 20 with real limits on rookie salaries. This can only improve the college game and I look forward to it. It will provide for more teams with quality players and more players staying for that forth year. Just what the college game needs. So get ready because college basketball might become really, really good.

LINKS!!!

Farts might be an aphrodisiac… good to know. Dutch Oven time honey!

Ten worst ways to break up with a woman

Twenty great beer quotes...

The hottest women of radio… You know the saying you got a face for radio? Not so for these babes.

This superhuman douche bag is charged with child abuse for turning on the clothes dryer with his one year old son inside. I have been racking my brain for an appropriate punishment. I am torn between placing him inside an industrial washer (kind of like and auto-water boarder) or forcing him to be a prison ironing board. Both might be too nice for this fuck-tard.

This weeks must click link... Six strangest objects people were caught having sex with.

Bearcat’s Not Quite Top Ten, Top Ten Worst Places To Have a Heart Attack…

10. On the toilet.
9. Airplane bathroom.
6. In the Champagne Room… there goes your American Express account.
5. While having sex with a prostitute… there goes your whole wallet.
3. Disney World… do you really want to go out with “It’s a Small World” in your head?
2. While dodging traffic.
1. During charades.

Mini Rant…

So the Cowboys dropped the terminal clubhouse cancer that is T.O. today. Well surprise, surprise…How did that fail to work out? Even after T.O. got a huge payday at the end of last season with a four year contract, he was still unhappy. Jerry Jones who is currently looking for cash to help pay for his 1 billion (as in 1000 millions) dollar cathedral to the Dallas Cowboys football stadium is going to eat nine million dollars and cut Owens. After three seasons, one attempted suicide, several locker room scuffles/meltdowns, tears, loads of bad press, epic failures to reach the playoffs and/or losses in the first round, Jerry “My hot tub is shaped like Texas Stadium…that’s right” Jones had enough. That is too bad because T.O. and Jones deserved each other; apparently there was just not enough TV time to go around between those two. So now what? My guess is either Dan Snyder is already on a private jet ready to genuflect before pancreatic cancer personified and sign him to a multi-year deal or the NFL pooper-scooper that is Al Davis will pick up this wide receiver/turd off the street and sign him to a deal with huge incentives. Either way T.O. will get paid, complain about the lack of respect, and ESPN commentators will discuss how T.O. only wants to play football and that he is misunderstood. Look out here comes the Keyshawn interview now, it will probably be the Sunday Conversation. Congratulations ESPN! I am now changing the channel... Hundred bucks says T.O. wears a red and gold sweater (hint-hint). I have not heard it but I am sure there is some idiot Philly sports radio guy right now doing the drive time with this stupid line idea: "I'm not saying they should do it (long pause) but maybe the Eagles should talk to T.O. (long pause) I'm just throwing it out there. (long pause) McNabb needs a WR threat. I don't think they have to do it. (another long pause) But they were winning games when he was here... you know he can catch the ball. (long dramatic pause) I don't think they have to do it...I'm just saying. Call in to let me know what you think. You're listening to the Sports-X-Man on 1510! Yeah! Baby!" *Multiple cars drive off the highway and several men attempt to light themselves on fire in the Philly Area tonight at 6.*

Thanks for coming and suckling on Daddy's Sugar Ball...

Bearcat

2.11.2009

Welcome back...

So after several weeks off DSB is back up and running. Excellent post by Max Power below and that means we are officially back on track. We did not plan on taking a break but after the Steelers Super Bowl win and a kick ass party at ZJ's, a short break was seriously needed. Special thanks to Ms. ZJ for pouring us shots after ZJ did his Ike Turner impression and for understanding that Max Power really did go to the max. Time to pack away the Terrible Towel until next season.

In case you failed to read the comments section from the last posting, you should know that Max Power walked away from getting hit by a truck. Now thanks to modern society placing video camera's on all cellphones we have video evidence of Max Power's accident.




A British city council is offering employees time off for cosmetic surgery... now this is progressive politics I can get behind.


Chicks from MySpace.com with huge cans making stupid faces... if you click only one link this week make it should be this one.


Nine looks you should avoid as a man...

Video

How to fail at a keg stand: 1. Don't take your hands out of your pockets. 2. Fall on face.




Another more painful face plant...







Stuff I thought...

Too late for Terri Schiavo jokes now?

I've seen the picture. Michael Phelps really should have gone with the, "I was just blowing that glass penis" defense. Go gay. Swimming is already a little gay.

To everyone who writes "meh" in internet comment sections: Kudos. You've managed to articulate what, "absolutely nothing of value" sounds like.

Getting drunk with coworkers is always more depressing than you expect it to be...


Bearcat's Not Quite Top Ten Top Ten...

Top Ten Things White People Think About Black History Month.

10. Black History month again? Fuck. Didn't we just do that?

8. George Washington Carver

7. He just invented peanut butter right?

5. MLK Jr.

4. Hank Aaron

3. George Washington Carver

1. George Washington Carver

Mini Rant...

Brett Favre this week retired. Again. You can read how he is really retired this time from ESPN or you can find Internet articles about how he is two-faced SOB and he will be back (no real media is going to trash this guys shitty reputation). But I am not here to tell you about that crap. I am here to complain about all the shit we are going to have to put up with. First, Brett Favre is not that fucking great. Yeah he played in 291 consecutive games (including playoffs). He played in two Super Bowls and won one. But he should also be remembered by his talent for throwing game killing INTs and TAINTs and for throwing wide receiver killing passes (Here catch this ball that is two feet right and two feet too high while crossing the middle... that linebacker is not going to hit you so hard that he will take more life from you than a four pack a day smoking habit...trust me I'm your veteran QB) Yet, there are going to be at least five teams (Vikings, Chiefs, Lions, Bills, Bears) that will be rumored to be in talks with him this off season. (Lead horse in this race has to be Vikings... right?) Even if he does not come back we are going to have to hear about his "desire to play the game and his ultra competitive nature" daily. ESPN is going to punish you and me with constant updates from Buttfuck, Mississippi after they insert Rachel Nichols up Favre's ass. Christ, I am ready to cancel my cable already. So lets assume that he does not come back to play. If he some how manages to stay retired (even money says he comes back) how long until he writes his autobiography where he throws every coach, position player, manager and reporter under the bus. It will be their fault that he won only one Super Bowl when he had the talent to win so many, many more. If only those cheap Green Bay execs would have spent the money for true talent to support the Great, HOF, "played the game the right way", gunslinger, QB. Due date for this toilet paper? Wild Card weekend 2010. Why then? Because we can't have the playoffs without Brett Favre. Fuck, what else would be talked about if he were not in our lives? And guess what you can expect the next off season if he does sit out the 2009 season. Discussion about how he is only 40 years young, thinks he has something "left in the tank" and rumors of him coming to play for the Vikings, Chiefs, Lions... Fuck. Me.

Thanks for coming and suckling on Daddy's Sugar Ball... take the time to comment and let us know you were here.

Bearcat