Raven's are running scared already...

Given that the Steelers are the World Champions of football they have earned the right to play their first game in prime time before a national audience. There will be pomp and circumstance with the presenting of the rings, additions to the Steelers Hall of Fame at Heinz Field and heeps of praise for what is the greatest francise in the NFL.

Unsurprisingly, the Baltimore Ravens don't want any part of it. NFL sources provided the Baltimore Sun with this story. The rumor was that the NFL wanted to start the season with the Ravens playing at Heinz Field for the Thursday night season opener. It would be a rematch of last seasons AFC Championship game (McGahee does not remember that game)

Unfortunately, I was not able to find video of Ray-Ray crying on the side line as they carted his BFF McGahee off the field.

The Ravens made a scheduling request that the NFL not schedule any prime time games against the Steelers. I did not know they accepted scheduling requests... especially BS ones like this. If they are accepting requests can the Steelers sign up to play Detroit and Texas after a late season bye? WTF? Pittsburgh has manhandled the Ravens recently winning all three match ups last year and delievering serious beatdowns during the last two prime time games (Steelers love MNF at home). But what does this say about your franchise and what message does it deliever to your team? I look forward to rubbing this in Ravens fans faces come next season. Your managament and your team are scared of the Steelers but why wouldn't you be. In what is becoming one of the best rivalries in the NFL they are not matching up. I would be scared as well... just not sure I would want everyone to know.

Thanks for coming and suckling on Daddy's Sugar Ball...

Bearcat

Mini Rant...Ray-Ray gets his.

Ray Lewis thought he would be in high demand. He wasn't. Lewis thought he'd get he would get a ludicrous amount of money to come dancing out of someone else’s tunnel. He didn't. So he had to crawl back to Baltimore with his tail between his legs. Ray-Ray is a Raven for life, but only because no one else wanted his antics and look at me attitude. As a Steelers fan I hope those hated Baltimore fans never forget that. I surely will not. Every time he comes dancing out of the locker room I am going to be reminded that Ray-Ray is not only a murderer but an unwanted side show in the former murder capitol of the US. We will be forced to watch ESPN talk about his leadership, his drive, his passion for the game and his antics will be sold as entertainment for the masses. But the reality is that he is a snitch (ratting on his homies to avoid his own sentencing), a clown in shoulder pads, who could not take his pre-game Krumping and whoop it up attitude anywhere but where he already was. A bitter pill for Lewis. Who better to have to swallow it? Ray-Ray is a self-styled outlaw who has cultivated a sleazy persona. The saving grace in this is the ultimate teammate and leader who betrayed his team was then forced to watch as the cruelest of mistresses, the free market, betrayed him. You are unwanted Lewis. Why Baltimore was willing to welcome you back after you were spurned from your big pay day courtship is an enigma. Now we will watch as you spin this reversal of fortune as loyalty to the only team that will have you. Christ... you are pathetic.

Please take me back...You know you were always the only one for me baby.

Sorry for the crappy picture we don't have enough readers to afford Photoshop so you get my crappy attempt to merge Say Anything and Ray-Ray... you get the point right.

Thanks for coming and suckling on Daddy's Sugar Ball,

Bearcat

College Basketball and Links...

Welcome back to DSB and prepare yourself for a craptastic edition of the Thursday Links.

First a couple thoughts about College Basketball…

It’s March so we are officially entering one of the best times of the year to be a sports fan. You have baseball warming up, even more so this year with the World Baseball Classic. But more importantly we have Championship week, Selection Sunday and the NCAA tournament (the greatest playoff system in sports). My preliminary thoughts of the up coming tournament: Pitt, UConn, and Oklahoma and UNC are the favorites and they should be. Couple teams that I am looking at closely: LSU (going to win what looks like an unimpressive SEC), UCLA (Not impressive in the PAC-10 but can they make the Final Four…AGAIN?), Louisville (you know I love those Big East teams and they could win the Big East regular season and end up a 1 seed), Michigan State (Izzo can get it done), Mizzou (I did not see this team all year until they dropped the hammer on Oklahoma, DeMarre Carroll was impressive and they looked strong against a solid OK team.) But what the fuck do I know about college basketball? Year-in-year-out I am reminded that I know nothing about college basketball but I do know on thing... College Basketball is going to be changed (for the better) by the NBA's economic meltdown.

Every year at this time we talk about who the big players are and are they going to stick around for another year or are they going to jump at the chance of becoming instant millionaires thanks to the NBA Draft. Mark my words… If a player has the chance to get drafted he will go THIS year. Guys are not going to sit around and wait another year to get paid this time around hoping to be a lottery pick next year. Example A: DeJuan Blair of Pitt. He is the perfect example for this posting because he is not a lock to be a lottery pick this year and I watch a lot of Pitt basketball. He is really good, and might have a very solid NBA career but he does not have the prototypical body that NBA coaches and GMs look for in a center. DeJuan Blair will go this year even if he is not projected as a lottery pick. Everyone else will go as well. Why? Because they have to. The NBA is going to have a lockout. It is going to happen after the 2010-2011 season and it is going to be a blood bath. It needs to be a blood bath for the owners to make it worth their while. The NBA is hemorrhaging cash like General Motors. Things are so bad that they had to take a loan out that is between 175-200 million dollars in order to cover operating costs (i.e. salaries). Bill Simmons in what might be his best column in a long time put it best by calling it the No Benjamins League.

So what does this have to do with College Basketball getting better? Right now everything. Players were jumping ship at an alarming rate just a few years ago to cash in on the riches of the NBA, it was serious problem for the feeder system (college basketball) and for the NBA, young players unable to handle it on and off the court. The NBA reacted by instituting the age limit of 19 years old for draft eligibility. This helped both college basketball and the NBA. The college game got players who might have just jumped right to the NBA out of high school or held on to some talent and the NBA theoretically got a more mature player. Guess what is going to happen this year. The college ranks are going to empty out. Anyone over 19 and capable of dribbling a basketball is going to declare for the draft over the next two seasons. They would be stupid not to. There are only two seasons of NBA basketball left to play before we are going to see a lockout. A lockout is going to happen and it will last one season if not possibly more. These guys have got to declare now so that they can get paid. Better to have two season of earning three million dollars than to have one season of getting paid five, and that’s IF your draft stock goes up between now and next year (notice the big if). These players have to assume a lockout is coming. They have to prepare for it and the agents are going to tell them this. So between this year and next year expect everyone to bail on the college game. No one is staying for their senior year. So Pitt, get ready to wave goodbye to Blair. And everyone else hoping for another year with that sharpshooter point guard or another year with that forward with the sweet cross over… don’t hold your breath.

But there is good news. With a lockout comes quality players stuck in the college ranks and expect any new CBA to up the age restriction to 20 with real limits on rookie salaries. This can only improve the college game and I look forward to it. It will provide for more teams with quality players and more players staying for that forth year. Just what the college game needs. So get ready because college basketball might become really, really good.

LINKS!!!

Farts might be an aphrodisiac… good to know. Dutch Oven time honey!

Ten worst ways to break up with a woman

Twenty great beer quotes...

The hottest women of radio… You know the saying you got a face for radio? Not so for these babes.

This superhuman douche bag is charged with child abuse for turning on the clothes dryer with his one year old son inside. I have been racking my brain for an appropriate punishment. I am torn between placing him inside an industrial washer (kind of like and auto-water boarder) or forcing him to be a prison ironing board. Both might be too nice for this fuck-tard.

This weeks must click link... Six strangest objects people were caught having sex with.

Bearcat’s Not Quite Top Ten, Top Ten Worst Places To Have a Heart Attack…

10. On the toilet.
9. Airplane bathroom.
6. In the Champagne Room… there goes your American Express account.
5. While having sex with a prostitute… there goes your whole wallet.
3. Disney World… do you really want to go out with “It’s a Small World” in your head?
2. While dodging traffic.
1. During charades.

Mini Rant…

So the Cowboys dropped the terminal clubhouse cancer that is T.O. today. Well surprise, surprise…How did that fail to work out? Even after T.O. got a huge payday at the end of last season with a four year contract, he was still unhappy. Jerry Jones who is currently looking for cash to help pay for his 1 billion (as in 1000 millions) dollar cathedral to the Dallas Cowboys football stadium is going to eat nine million dollars and cut Owens. After three seasons, one attempted suicide, several locker room scuffles/meltdowns, tears, loads of bad press, epic failures to reach the playoffs and/or losses in the first round, Jerry “My hot tub is shaped like Texas Stadium…that’s right” Jones had enough. That is too bad because T.O. and Jones deserved each other; apparently there was just not enough TV time to go around between those two. So now what? My guess is either Dan Snyder is already on a private jet ready to genuflect before pancreatic cancer personified and sign him to a multi-year deal or the NFL pooper-scooper that is Al Davis will pick up this wide receiver/turd off the street and sign him to a deal with huge incentives. Either way T.O. will get paid, complain about the lack of respect, and ESPN commentators will discuss how T.O. only wants to play football and that he is misunderstood. Look out here comes the Keyshawn interview now, it will probably be the Sunday Conversation. Congratulations ESPN! I am now changing the channel... Hundred bucks says T.O. wears a red and gold sweater (hint-hint). I have not heard it but I am sure there is some idiot Philly sports radio guy right now doing the drive time with this stupid line idea: "I'm not saying they should do it (long pause) but maybe the Eagles should talk to T.O. (long pause) I'm just throwing it out there. (long pause) McNabb needs a WR threat. I don't think they have to do it. (another long pause) But they were winning games when he was here... you know he can catch the ball. (long dramatic pause) I don't think they have to do it...I'm just saying. Call in to let me know what you think. You're listening to the Sports-X-Man on 1510! Yeah! Baby!" *Multiple cars drive off the highway and several men attempt to light themselves on fire in the Philly Area tonight at 6.*

Thanks for coming and suckling on Daddy's Sugar Ball...

Bearcat

DSB does the Wonderlic

With the NFL Combine in full swing this week, hundreds of prospective NFL draftees are taking the Wonderlic Test as a measure of their intellectual capacity. You can see an example of the Wonderlic here on ESPN’s page 2.

There is only one problem with the Wonderlic test … it does not properly test for the real-life football intelligence required of NFL players. Therefore, DSB now presents the new and improved NFL Combine Wonderlic test. You have 20 minutes to finish this test; 45 minutes if you are a defensive lineman or Vince Young.

Question 1

Your have five baby mommas and seven babies residing in three different states. What percentage of your signing bonus can you expect to keep?

A. 100% (Those kids don’t look anything like me, Maury!)
B. 55% (Yeah, those my kids but Daddy needs to put a new Lambo in the garage.)
C. 25% (I have a crappy lawyer)
D. 0% (Travis Henry will be buying me lunch after my rookie season)

Question 2

You have been informed that your name is on next month’s list for a random drug test. What do you do?

A. Cycle off, duh.
B. Pick up a Whizzinator on the way home
C. Contact Bill Romanowski
D. Go home, toke up, and forget about it … what’s the worst that can happen?

Question 3

Cocaine sells for between $80-$100 a gram. If one of your “buddies” has 100 grams burning a hole in his pocket and needs to get rid of it what do you do?

A. Call Santonio Holmes
B. Call up the strippers … House Party!!!
C. Keep it for game day, it worked for LT
D. Cut it and cook it down to make crack there by doubling the street value. Simple economics.

Question 4

You have just signed a six year contract and are the highest paid player at your position. How do you celebrate this momentous occasion?

A. What’s momentous?
B. Find my buddy with the “stuff” burning a hole in his pocket and call in the strippers.
C. Ask Matt Leinart to come on over and to bring his “friends”
D. Go on ESPN and throw a tantrum about how you are finally getting paid and you can now feed your family.

Question 5

Finish this sentence: I ain’t getting ________.

A. Respect
B. Paid
C. Respect or Paid

Question 6

You child is five years old. You are 21 years old. How old will you be when you can stop paying child support?

A. For this kid or the last kid?
B. Who pays child support?
C. I already told you in question one that ain’t my f’ing kid.
D. 13 years, 2 months and 5 days. But who’s counting?

Question 7

There are four quarters in a football game. You had eight tackles during the game. How many tackles per quarter did you average?

A. More than the white defensive lineman and he just got a new three year deal!
B. Those weren’t tackles they were executions.
C. Four
D. If the defensive coordinator wasn’t a racist I would have that new deal.

Question 8

What is the NFL’s fine for this end zone celebration?


A. $10,000
B. It does not matter. I am an entertainer … this is the cost of my art.
C. My shoe deal will cover it.
D. Two months child support. Sorry kids.

Question 9

Finish this sentence: In the strip club, I ________.

A. Make it rain on dem hoes …
B. Get grabby because I’m important.
C. Plan the next pleasure cruise on my boat.
D. Try to not jeopardize my Chunky Soup deal.

Question 10

What is the most dangerous part of the locker room?

A. Errant towel snaps … watch the family jewels.
B. Staph
C. Reporters
D. All those needles

Question 11

What should you do if you come into camp overweight?

A. Complain about how you don’t get any respect.
B. Blame it on a pulled hammy.
C. Get the cycle. Not the bicycle.

Question 12 (Last One!)

If you are out and about and you see Bill Belichick at dinner with the team doctor’s wife; what do you do?

A. Give him a heads up on the Valtex you found in the medicine cabinet.
B. Avoid eye contact and leave. When the team doctor mysteriously disappears next week you know nothing.
C. Give Bill a heads up about the GM’s daughter. She likes it rough.
D. Meet coach in the team confessional and accept your penance (10% pay cut to make room under the cap)

Thanks for coming and suckling on Daddy’s Sugar Ball...

Bearcat

Hey you on the sidelines, get your resume ready!

First of all ... welcome to Daddy's Sugar Ball! I hope you enjoy your time here and please let us know what you think in the comments.

Secondly, I am working on a mid-season review of the NFL season (which will be posted later in the week) but I wanted to share my thoughts today on a topic that I think could become pretty huge.

By the end of the NFL year, it is quite possible that there will be 13 out of a possible 32 head coaching positions open … that kind of turnover is rivaled only at places like Hardee’s (still deep frying ‘em) and Arby’s. And with this many possible openings after the season, it’s probably the best occupation for employment in this struggling economy.

Here’s a breakdown…

Current Interim Head Coaches

• Tom Cable (Oakland) – The "Cable Guy" is doing about as well at the helm as that movie’s box office receipts. One day after the sun has gone down, Al Davis will rise from his crypt and appoint some young coordinator desperate enough for a head coaching position.
• Jim Haslett (St. Louis) – The NFL struck down an agreement that he would be named the permanent head coach if he won 6 games the rest of the way. Even though he’s 1/3 of the way there, I think whoever in the Rams front office included this stipulation is a genius … I saw Jim Haslett in New Orleans and there’s no chance that this is attainable. Just because you’re better than Scott Linehan, does not make you a viable head coaching candidate.
• Mike Singletary (San Fran) – Let me see if I have this right … you’ve been passed over for numerous positions because decision-makers didn’t believe you were "ready" and at halftime of your very first game as head coach you choose to drop your pants to fire up your team. I only have one question – who had the worst view: those in front or those in back?
  

Planned Exits

• Mike Holmgren (Seattle) – Rumor has it he wants to take a year off and open a coffee shop or a winery or something else (let’s hope it isn’t a bed & breakfast). Rumor also has it that the 49ers will throw the kitchen sink at him to convince him to come there. Either way his tenure in the Pacific Northwest is done.
• Tony Dungy (Indy) – As much as the Colts have struggled this year (and they still have a chance to turn it around with a healthy Bob Sanders and Joseph Addai), I find it tough to believe that anyone would want to go out this way. But I truly believe Dungy is sincere about his intentions and motivations.

How Do These Guys Still Have a Job?

• Rod Marinelli (Detroit) – 10-30 career record and still taking pride in his players’ efforts. This is the NFL … effort means squat … wins and losses are where it’s at. At this point, maybe you should just hit up the Wendy’s drive thru with your assistant.
• Marvin Lewis (Cincy) – Wasn’t this man considered a defensive genius at one point? Cincy is allowing 331+ yards and 26.2 points a game and that’s playing in the offensively challenged AFC North. Things are ending so badly in Cincy for Lewis that I’m not even sure he can get a coordinator position for at least a couple of years.
• Herm Edwards (Chiefs) – Why do we play the game, Herm? I thought so…
  

Crumbling Under Expectations

• Romeo Crennel (Cleveland) – Let me get one thing straight, I dislike Bill Belichick. But the more I see Charlie Weis and Crennel-coached teams, the more I realize Belichick really might be a freakin’ genius in covering for their incompetence those years they were on his staff.
• Norv Turner (San Diego) – This is Norv’s third head coaching go-round. He deserves some recognition for getting someone (anyone) to hire him after his first attempt (let alone his second). Norv was once thought of as an offensive genius, but I guess that’s pretty easy when you have Troy Aikman, Emmitt Smith, and Michael Irvin running the plays you call. On a side note, who would have ever thought that all three of them would get high profile commentator gigs that none of them were in any way qualified for?
• Wade Phillips (Dallas) – This is also Wade’s third head coaching go-round. However, one of those was on an interim basis in Buffalo and this time he’s really just an assistant to Coach Jerry Jones these days. One quick question for Cowboys fans: who had more control over the team, Wade Phillips or Dave Campo? Also, maybe it’s just me - but should an NFL coach celebrate like he’s an 'O' away from winning on his bingo card every time something good happens during a game?
• Jack Del Rio (Jaguars) – The Jags came into this season as the "sexy" AFC pick for the Super Bowl. The Jags have lost that "sexy" tag about as fast as Eva Longoria after she got married to Tony Parker (seriously…have you seen her lately?) I know owner Wayne Weaver loves Del Rio but the farther this season goes in the crapper, the more someone will have to pay. Hey Jack - I would break out the motivational ax ASAP.
• Brad Childress (Vikings) – I actually think Childress made the right call in benching Tavaris Jackson for Gus Frerotte very early in the season. However, Frerotte isn’t the answer for a team that was many experts’ NFC pick for the Super Bowl this year. However, in a clustered division they still have eight games left to salvage their season and their head coach’s job.
  

The question for these teams is where they turn for their next head coach. Let’s look at the possible scenarios:

The Retread Coach
This only seems to work where the coach was unfairly fired from his previous position or prematurely stepped away from the game. For every Bill Cowher and Marty Schottenheimer that is available out there, there are tons of Steve Mariuccis and Denny Greens. If a head coach doesn’t have that fire in his belly, I’m not sure guaranteeing him a boatload of cash is going to stoke the flames.

The College Coach
The recent high profile failures of Nick Saban and Bobby Petrino make many a GM or owner forget about even worse colossal failures such as Lou Holtz or Steve Spurrier. Another glaring example is Pete Carroll. Widely considered one of the best current college coaches around, in the pros he was a mediocre 33-31 with the Patriots and Jets. Simply put, avoid the college coach like the crazy chick at the bar - - there’s a 1 in 1,000 chance that picking the college coach/crazy chick will be the right decision a year from now.

The Assistant Coach
In the current state of the NFL, hiring and promoting an intelligent assistant coach seems to be the way to go. It seems like lots of NFL teams are reaping the rewards in finding quality coaches already from within organizations (theirs or others). The head coaches from the AFC’s best 2 teams - Mike Tomlin in Pittsburgh and Jeff Fisher in Tennessee – were both defensive coordinators for a paltry one year before ascending to the top spot. Also, hiring from non-coordinator positions has become a noticeable trend over the last few years. Resurgent franchises in Baltimore and Miami have John Harbaugh (special teams) and Tony Sparano (offensive line) at the helm.

So what does it all mean? If I were Steve Spagnuolo, Mike Heimerdinger, Winston Moss, or any other talented assistant that could nail an interview I would make sure my resume is updated come mid-January.

Thanks for coming and suckling on Daddy’s Sugar Ball.