Playoffs...Glorious Playoffs!!!

Even though my fantasy football season has been over for about two months now, the actual NFL season wrapped up just last Sunday and this weekend boasts the first round of playoffs. Without further ado, here is DSB's highly scientific breakdown of these games in order of confidence.

Eagles (-3) over VIKINGS
Every time I think I have the Eagles figured out, they blow my expectations (see the last 2 weeks - a stinker against the Redskins and a thrashing of the Cowboys). However, the more I look at the matchups in this game the more I'm sure they will easily advance to the next round against their rival the New York Giants. Fortunately for Andy Reid and his crack clock management team, I don't think this game will come down to the final minutes. To borrow a phrase from fellow editor Bearcat, Jim Johnson's Philly defense will do everything short of have sex with Tavaris Jackson in the backfield on Sunday afternoon.

It's very difficult for me to support the Eagles when Philly sports fans are the most insufferable fanbase. And it would do nothing but please me to see their high (and unreasonable) expectations for a 9-6-1 team shattered...I just don't think the Vikes are the team that can take a sledgehammer to the 700 Level's dreams.

Colts (-1.5) over CHARGERS
Arguably this Saturday night contest is a matchup of the two hottest teams entering the postseason. Since firing their defensive coordinator Ted Cottrell at the season's halfway point, the Chargers have actually played solid defense while quartback Philip Rivers (aka Malmalard) has put his team's fortunes on his back.

The Colts were two 4th quarter comebacks away from starting the season 0-4, but since then the inevitable 2008 MVP (Peyton Manning) has gotten healthier and the team has followed suit.

Simply put, Norv Turner is prominently involved...therefore, I'm pushing my chips all-in to watch him fold under the playoff pressure.

DOLPHINS (+3.5) over Ravens
I don't think the Dolphins and Coach Tony Sparano are getting the recognition they deserve. Most experts and pundits are giving Bill Parcells, a rejuvenated Chad Pennington, and the Wildcat formation the credit for their dramatic turnaround. In actuality, it's the ball-control offense and a very under-appreciated defense that deserves the praise.

That being said I think the Ravens are the better team here...but once the line went above a field goal, I think you have to lay money on the Fins. Do you really want to rely on a rookie quarterback (Joe Flacco - a few hairs short of rocking a unibrow) on the road to win by 4? I didn't think so...

Falcons (-2) over CARDINALS
Even though I am almost swayed by the analysis of KSK's Drew Magary regarding Atlanta's five losses coming at the hands of big passing teams, I can't find myself rooting against these Falcons. I was wrong about Michael Turner being a viable #1 RB...I was wrong about Matt Ryan being a viable QB in his rookie season...and I was very wrong about Mike Smith being a viable head coach in the NFL. It took me 16 games, but I'm on the bandwagon and can't wait for a division matchup against the Panthers next weekend.

Considering God's favorite quarterback (aka Kurt Warner) has won only one Super Bowl, I'm convinced there won't be any divine intervention in this wild-card round. Speaking of which - how come no announcer has named the receiving corps of Fitzgerald, Boldin, and Breaston as "The Holy Trinity"? When Warner is slinging it around, it seems like even Neil Everett could have come up with that. Well, blasphemous or not...I'm copyrighting it right here. Unfortunately, they'll only be around 1 week of these playoffs.

Enjoy the games this weekend and as always thanks for coming and suckling on Daddy's Sugar Ball.

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