4.02.2009

Site News

The DSB editors are proud to let you know that Daddy's Sugar Ball can now be found at its own site...

www.daddyssugarball.com

Please bookmark the new location and visit us frequently.

~ Bearcat, Max Power, & ZJ

3.31.2009

Top 11 Championship Games

With the 2009 Final Four upon us, I thought I would take the time to rank the Top 11 Championship Games in the last 30 years. Why 11? Ask Nigel Tufnel.


11. 2003 - Syracuse 81, Kansas 78

Sixteen years after Keith Smart’s jumper beat Syracuse in the Superdome, Jim Boeheim finally got off the schneid and came away from New Orleans with his first national title. Freshman Carmelo Anthony carried the Orangemen and was named Most Outstanding Player (MOP).

Lasting image: Hakim Warrick blocking Michael Lee’s potential game-tying three-pointer with less than a second left.


10. 1989 – Michigan 80, Seton Hall 79 (OT)

On the eve of the tournament, Michigan AD Bo Schembechler named Steve Fisher the interim head coach after then-head coach Bill Frieder had accepted the job at Arizona State. Thanks in large part to MOP Glen Rice, Fisher went on to become the only coach to ever start with six straight wins and a national championship.

Lasting image: Rumeal Robinson canning two free throws with 3 seconds left in overtime to win.

9. 2001 - Duke 82, Arizona 72

I realize I have a bias (check out #7 to see my impartiality), but the future NBA talent on the floor for this game was pretty impressive. Arizona had Gilbert Arenas, Richard Jefferson, and Luke Walton. Duke had Mike Dunleavy, Carlos Boozer, Jason Williams, Chris Duhon, and MOP Shane Battier.

Lasting image: Battier back-handing a rebound into the basket to keep Arizona out of reach.

8. 1993 - North Carolina 77, Michigan 71

For the second year in a row, Michigan’s Fab Five came up short in the Championship game. In what would be legendary coach Dean Smith’s last title, MOP Donald Williams hit five of his seven 3-point attempts to finish with 25 points.

Lasting image: With 25 seconds remaining, Chris Webber first travelled (without it being called) and then requested a timeout when Michigan had none remaining.



7. 1999 - Connecticut 77, Duke 74

Duke came into the title game 37-1 as the presumptive champion. MOP Richard Hamilton and Connecticut had other ideas. This would not be the last time Jim Calhoun outcoached Coach K in a Final Four (see 2004).

Lasting image: With NBA talent all around him, Trajan Langdon trying to create his own shot off the dribble and travelling.


6. 2008 – Kansas 75, Memphis 68 (OT)

Memphis was up 9 points with two minutes to play, but couldn’t hold on as Kansas hit some big shots and Memphis could not convert free throws.

Lasting image: With 3.6 seconds left in regulation, MOP Mario Chalmers knocks down a game-tying 3 from the top of the key to send the game into overtime.

5. 1997 – Arizona 84, Kentucky 79 (OT)


Defending champion Kentucky came into the title game ready for their coronation, but Arizona’s Mike Bibby and especially MOP Miles Simon outplayed and outhustled the Wildcats to win the championship. On the way to their title, Arizona became the first team to ever beat three number 1 seeds. Since Kentucky went on to win the title in 1998, Arizona’s victory essentially prevented the first three-peat since the heyday of UCLA.

Lasting image: Miles Simon playing the best game of his career on the biggest stage.

4. 1982 – North Carolina 63, Georgetown 62

Freshman Patrick Ewing was like King Kong swatting away anything that came his way. To open the game, North Carolina’s first four baskets were all due to goaltending calls on an aggressive Ewing. Hoya point guard Fred Brown will best be remembered for passing the ball to MOP James Worthy while setting up for the final shot.

Lasting image: Glimpsing the killer instinct in freshman Michael Jordan taking the game-winning 16-foot jumper with 17 seconds left.

3. 1983 - NC State 54, Houston 52

Everyone tuning in thought they would see Houston’s Phi Slamma Jamma take home the title behind MOP Akeem Olajuwon, Clyde Drexler, Larry Micheaux, Michael Young, and Benny Anders. However, it was coach Jim Valvano orchestrating one of the biggest upsets in NCAA history. NC State won 4 of their 6 tournament games by 2 points or less by running a ball-control offense and fouling early and often when they found themselves behind.

Lasting image: Lorenzo Charles dunking the Dereck Whittenburg 30 foot airball as time expired.

2. 1985 – Villanova 66, Georgetown 64

Twice before that season, Georgetown won close, low-scoring contests against Villanova. This time, however, Villanova shot a remarkable 78.6% from the floor (9 out of 10 in the second half) and essentially pitched a perfect game. Led by MOP Ed Pinckney and Gary McLain (cocaine high and all for some of the tournament games), Villanova was able to control the tempo due to a lack of shot clock.

Lasting image: McLain clutching the ball on the floor while time runs out.




1. 1979 - Michigan State 75, Indiana State 64

MOP Magic Johnson outdueling Larry Bird for the championship. Indiana State came into the game undefeated on the season, but couldn’t remain unbeaten. Stunningly, 30 years later it is still the highest-rated game in the history of televised college basketball.

Lasting image: Magic being hoisted on his teammates’ shoulders to cut down the nets.


Thanks for coming and suckling Daddy's Sugar Ball...

3.30.2009

Villanova-Pitt Snapshot

Wow. That was an amazing Elite-8 game between Villanova and Pittsburgh tonight, with an equally exciting finish. By the time you read this, you may have already read one writer or another comparing this game to the Duke-Kentucky game of 1994. A fair comparison? Maybe, but probably not. There were some outstanding performances in tonight's game that goes beyond the all-out hustle by everyone on the floor and the infinite number of lead changes: Sam Young's 28 points in defeat; four 'Nova players in double-figures; and the Wildcats knocking down 22 out of 23 free throws.

But I'm not here to summarize the game for you. I had the distinct privilege of texting a Pittsburgh native (and thus, a Pitt fan) during the last hour of the game, and what follows is a running text diary of one of the most exciting NCAA Tournament games in recent memory. You may know Bearcat as our Links Editor, but he is also a big fan of all things Pittsburgh … and Jameson Irish Whiskey.

We pick up at the TV timeout with 10:07 remaining in the game and Villanova leading, 54-53. In the interest of integrity, spelling and punctuation has not been changed and I've added the score after some of the dialogue for context.

ZJ (8:50pm): Christ, this is a good game! (Nova 54, Pitt 53)

Bearcat (8:51): I'm about to jump off a bridge.

ZJ (8:52): What r u drinking?

Bearcat (8:53): Newcastle

Bearcat (8:53): Yes!!!!! (Pitt 55, Nova 54)

ZJ (8:55): All of a sudden, there's a lot of ticky-tack fouls being called on nova … they're tiring.

Bearcat (8:56): Yeah… Pitt is wearing them out. I'm feeling ok. (Nova 56, Pitt 55)

ZJ (8:59): You should be drinking Iron City.

Bearcat (9:01): WTF Pitt needs to get up with some dististance

ZJ (9:02): Will u please teach blair how to shoot free throws? (Nova 56, Pitt 55)

Bearcat (9:03): Pitt player can't hit from the line… Been that way for 10 years

ZJ (9:04): I thought it's been since sean miller graduated

Bearcat (9:05): Nice… Beer not working switch to jameson (Nova 59, Pitt 55)

ZJ (9:09): I knew it was only a matter of time.

Bearcat (9:11): Op

Bearcat (9:11): 22 fouls for nova (Nova 58, Pitt 57)

Bearcat (9:12): That is high but they are pressing

ZJ (9:14): Jesus they're 17-17 from the ft line!

Bearcat (9:15): That is keeping them in it… Might kill Us down the stretch (Nova 61, Pitt 60)

ZJ (9:16): Is the Jameson helping?

Bearcat (9:17): I'm loaded… Had a couple shots might need more

ZJ (9:17): OMG – is that assault!? (Pitt 67, Nova 65)

At this point the game was very physical. Also at this point, it should be noted that Bearcat went underground and all communications went silent for ten solid minutes.

Bearcat (9:27): Hey remember when the steeler won the the superbowl hold on to that… (Pitt 76, Nova 76)

ZJ (9:30): Damn. (Final - Nova 78, Pitt 76)

Bearcat (9:32): So now I have pirates pens and steelers off season

ZJ (9:34): That was a helluva game. Btw, I'm posting our running texts on DSB.

Bearcat (9:36): Nice… Info DSB that mrs. Bearcat was going nuts.

ZJ (9:37): That she likes nuts? Okay.

Bearcat (9:38): LOL… She is not laughing at that…

Bearcat (9:40): Post it… I'm now going to break something

Bearcat (9:41): I want to throw garbage in a nova player's families yard

As always, thanks for coming and suckling Daddy's Sugar Ball.

3.24.2009

Your 2009 Pittsburgh Pirates...


The Pirates are geared up for another year of sub-.500 baseball, so to get you super excited about watching a team lose night-in-night-out let's get you caught up on all thing Buccos:

I have a buddy who is a die-hard Pittsburgh Pirates fan and he still lives and works in the city. The other day he told me that they're going to win 85 games this season and should be in contention for the NL Wild Card. I laughed so hard I nearly passed out. Right now before doing any analysis I am going to tell you that the Pirates are not going to be winning 81 games (the perennially listed goal of .500 ball) let alone enough to be “in contention for the NL Wild Card.” So let's take a look at what the Buccos are going to put on the beautiful grass that is PNC Park this season and see if coming anywhere close to .500 ball is plausible.

(*2008 stats listed)
Offense:
The Pirates lone star Nate McLouth (.276/.853, 26 hr, 23 SB). He's a Gold Glove center fielder with speed and power and can be considered all-around threat. After dumping half of the recognizable names from the line up last year the Pirates were forced to actually spend some money and agreed to a three-year contract with a club option on a fourth year. Backing him up are switch hitting catcher (is that two gay references?) Ryan Doumit (.318/.858, 15 hr) and 1st baseman Adam “I can’t hit in April, May or June” LaRoche (.270/.841, 25 hr). Doumit can hit, but needs to find a way to keep in the lineup (only 86 games in '07 and 116 in '08). To say that LaRoche is a glacially slow starter is an insult to glaciers. Both of these men need to produce in the early going should the Pirates want to keep from being mathematically eliminated prior to the All-Star break.

The rest of the lineup is unproven, mediocre, or fugly. Unproven: Left fielder Nyjer Morgan (.294/.720, 9 SB, in 58 games) time to drop the prospect tag and get things going (I actually like this kid and am glass half full on him). On the other side of the outfield another prospect (how many fucking prospects does this team have?) with a lot to prove in Brandon Moss (.246/.741, 8 hr in 79 games). Mediocre: Xavier Nady and Jason Bay are gone, yet shortstop Jack Wilson (.272/.659) remains. Which tells you something about Jack Wilson... he is always discussed as a possible trade come the middle of the season but no one wants this guy. Why? Because Wilson is incredibly overpaid for being a barely league average SS...thank you Pirates management. 2nd baseman Freddy “Dirty” Sanchez (.271/.669) runs like a turtle on Quaaludes has no power or on base skills… fuck…I’m moving him to the Fugly category. Fugly: The Other Sister …I mean the other brother 3rd baseman Andy LaRoche (.166/.508) has been called a prospect by Pirate Kool-Aid drinkers, but after 111 games in the majors and only a .184 batting average you get called "ass hat" in my book.

The bench consists of human backstop I mean…backup catcher/Phillies castoff Jason Jaramillo or Robinzon Diaz (.300/.600), Brad Lidge’s final out of the World Series strikeout victim Eric Hinske (.247/.798) that means playoff experience, Tigers/Cubs/Twins cast off Craig Monroe (.202/.679), and baby faces Brian Bixler (.157/.423), Steven Pearce (.248/.716), Neil Walker “Texas Ranger” (no MLB time), and Luis “Don’t call me Tom” Cruz (.224/.546), infielder Ramon Vazquez (.290/.795) coming off a career year with Texas (that’s right career year baby! It can only go down from here.), and outfielder Jeff Salazar (.211/.675) not to be confused with Ken Salazar.

There's a chance this offense could be middle-of-the-road, but Wilson and Dirty Sanchez don't help the cause. If LaRoche, Doumit, and McLouth can remain healthy and produce like they did last season that's a good start, but at least 2 others need to step up to make this team have any offense over the long grind of the MLB season.

Rotation:
Paul Maholm (9-9, 3.71 era, 1.28 whip) is the ace, but only has one season of success thus far so things could go down hill quickly. Dead Man Walking in after him is some combination of the fugly cast of Zach Duke (5-14, 4.82, 1.50), Tom Gorzelanny (6-9, 6.66, 1.80), Ian Snell (7-12, 5.42, 1.76), Jeff Karstens (2-6, 4.03, 1.34), and Ross Ohlendorf (1-4, 6.46, 1.87). I feel like handing this rotation a blind fold and a cigarette. I mean look at those numbers again...this is going to hurt. It is going to hurt 162 times.

Bucco management has always stated that it was going to be their much hyped young pitching that was going to lead us out of the rebuilding phase. See how great that worked out…

Bullpen:
Closer Matt Capps (3.02 era, 0.97 whip, 21 saves) is solid, but needs to stay healthy. Lefty John Grabow (6-3, 4 s, 2.84, 1.23) will be useful. Tyler Yates (6-3, 4.66, 1.54) was good one night and a complete disaster the next last season, but can get guys out and should be a set up man. The rest of the bullpen will be a Dagwood style turd sandwich of Craig Hansen (6.22, 1.79), Sean Burnett (4.76, 1.61), Jesse Chavez (6.60, 1.93), Phil Dumatrait (5.26, 1.58), Romulo Sanchez (4.05, 1.50), Donnie Veal (no MLB time), Daniel Meek (6.92, 1.77), or Denny Bautista (5.22, 1.71).

Dagwood style turd sandwich might be too nice…these guys are a fucking mess. After the starters get murdered the bull pen should pull the blind folds off the bodies and get in line for their execution. Frankly, if you are in a slump and the Pirates are in town then just leave the gold thong you borrowed from Jason Giambi at home. You’re going 4-5 with a chance at hitting for the cycle.

How bad is the prognosis Doc?:
The offense won't score enough runs and the pitching will give up way too many runs. (For you not so bright readers, this is not how you win baseball games.) The offense has a chance to at least become National League average if a couple players breakout (which crappy team can’t say this?). However, the rotation is infused with high eras and can get shelled on any night, same for the bullpen. I honestly feel they may have the worst pitching staff in the majors. Therefore, 85 wins are a wet dream, but I seriously doubt they will lose 100 games. I just feel like they are going to be able to pull together some wins here and there in order to stay out of DFL by the end of the season. So I am going to guess they will win 74 games. So there you have it your 2009 Pittsburgh Pirates.


A quick aside... yesterday was a huge day for DSB. We had 117 unique readers visit the site; by far a record for this blog. If you are coming back again today, please take the time to comment below and let us know what you think of the place. Also a special thanks to all those that visited yesterday.


Thanks for coming and suckling on Daddy's Sugar Ball.

Bearcat

3.22.2009

Raven's are running scared already...

Given that the Steelers are the World Champions of football they have earned the right to play their first game in prime time before a national audience. There will be pomp and circumstance with the presenting of the rings, additions to the Steelers Hall of Fame at Heinz Field and heeps of praise for what is the greatest francise in the NFL.

Unsurprisingly, the Baltimore Ravens don't want any part of it. NFL sources provided the Baltimore Sun with this story. The rumor was that the NFL wanted to start the season with the Ravens playing at Heinz Field for the Thursday night season opener. It would be a rematch of last seasons AFC Championship game (McGahee does not remember that game)

Unfortunately, I was not able to find video of Ray-Ray crying on the side line as they carted his BFF McGahee off the field.

The Ravens made a scheduling request that the NFL not schedule any prime time games against the Steelers. I did not know they accepted scheduling requests... especially BS ones like this. If they are accepting requests can the Steelers sign up to play Detroit and Texas after a late season bye? WTF? Pittsburgh has manhandled the Ravens recently winning all three match ups last year and delievering serious beatdowns during the last two prime time games (Steelers love MNF at home). But what does this say about your franchise and what message does it deliever to your team? I look forward to rubbing this in Ravens fans faces come next season. Your managament and your team are scared of the Steelers but why wouldn't you be. In what is becoming one of the best rivalries in the NFL they are not matching up. I would be scared as well... just not sure I would want everyone to know.

Thanks for coming and suckling on Daddy's Sugar Ball...

Bearcat

3.19.2009

MLB Predictions Part Two: NL Edition

Sweet Jesus, have you seen Carlos Baerga on Baseball Tonight yet? He's more orange than Syracuse's home unis and more waxed than Madame Tussaud. He looks like he just stepped off Sunset Tan. Seriously, he looks like a Muppet. In other news, there are two commercials I love right now. Well, three if you count the new Jack in the Box campaign. The first is Dustin Pedroia getting repeatedly insulted by Jerry Lambert (that guy from the Holiday Inn's "three-business-guys-and-Cal-Ripken" commercial fame) for Playstation's MLB 09 The Show. In the commercial, Lambert plays Kevin Butler, Director of Game Accuracy at Playstation. Can we give Lambert an Oscar for this role right now? A whole campaign around featuring Lambert is not enough -- I want an entire sitcom developed around this character. In fact, I just may start working on a spec pilot script after I finish this post. Secondly, I love Jimmy Rollins impression of Samuel L. Jackson in the new Dick's Sporting Goods commercial. He kills me! Could have used a bit more swearing, but it works. Now onto the National League and postseason predictions:

NL East W L

  1. Philadelphia Phillies 95 67
  2. New York Mets 93 69
  3. Atlanta Braves 82 80
  4. Florida Marlins 79 83
  5. Washington Nationals 66 96

NL Central W L

  1. Chicago Cubs 100 62
  2. St. Louis Cardinals 89 73
  3. Milwaukee Brewers 84 78
  4. Cincinnati Reds 76 86
  5. Pittsburgh Pirates 72 90
  6. Houston Astros 65 97

NL West W L

  1. Arizona Diamondbacks 89 73
  2. Los Angeles Dodgers 87 75
  3. San Francisco Giants 81 81
  4. Colorado Rockies 76 88
  5. San Diego Padres 62 100

NL MVP: Albert Pujols

NL Cy Young: Rich Harden (I know, I can't believe he was healthy all year, either!)

NL Rookie of the Year: Cameron Maybin (Don't hold me to this one.)

NL Manager of the Year: Lou Piniella

NL Notes: I may be expecting too much from the Phillies, but I like their swagger … and if swagger helped Brian Urlacher that much, it can't hurt the Phils … the New York Mets pitching will cost them another pennant come September … yet Omar Minaya will (somehow) keep his job … after an off-season of every free agent rejecting the Braves (the Spurning of Atlanta! … zing!) like a dirty diaper full of Indian food, I may have shot a bit high on them … discount the Marlins all you want, but if they had landed Manny in that three-team deal last year, we'd be talking about them as a favorite … sure, their business plan alienates fans, but they're always loaded with young talent … believe it or not, this is an improvement for the Nationals … with Jim Bowden gone, who is the worst GM in the game now? … be prepared for Cubs fans to annoy the living shit out of you again this summer … want to know how I know Tony LaRussa plays fantasy baseball? He tries to get infield eligibility for all his outfielders … seriously, what the hell? He'll receive total consciousness only with a team full of Jose Oquendos … anyway, enjoy a full season of Jason Motte's mullet … I also may have shot the Brewers load too high here … everybody, please welcome the Cincinnati Reds back to relevancy … no, they won't be great (let's not get crazy here), but Volquez, Cueto, Bruce and Votto injected some excitement into the Queen City for the first time since the early '90s … the Pirates actually have some minor league talent that may help them get to .500 by 2012 … and thank god they scrapped the vests … do yourself a favor and check out the Astros record during Spring Training … actually, I'll save you some time and do it for you … as of today, March 18, they are 1-16-3 … that is not a typo … I may regret putting them at 65 wins … the Arizona Diamondbacks are one good starter away from winning 95 games … well, that and a reliable closer … okay, and a true power threat … hmmm, I'm talking myself out of them now … but the Dodgers don't have the pitching to win the West this year … unless Li'l Frankie McCourt and Neddy Coletti pick someone up during the season … Cliff Lee and Erik Bedard are in contract years this season … say what you want about Brian Sabean and the Giants being too old, but by 2011 they will begin a dynasty in the NL West … their farm is that good … for all that is holy, let's hope Troy Tulowitzki reverts to 2007 form … for the Rockies … and for Max Power … hope is a good thing … but it doesn't exist in San Diego … not now, not next year … and not even in 2017.

Postseason Results … of the Future! (for gambling purposes only, please):

ALDS: Red Sox over Angels, 3 games to 1

Yankees over Twins, 3 games to 2

ALCS: Red Sox over Yankees, 4 games to 2

NLDS: Cubs over Mets, 3 games to 2

Phillies over Diamondbacks, 3 games to 2

NLCS: Cubs over Phillies, 4 games to 2 (cue the pandemonium)

World Series: Red Sox over Cubs, 4 games to 2 (cue new reason for Cubs curse. Early favorites are UFOs, Jim Belushi, or the Black Mamba.)

3.18.2009

Predictions for the 2009 MLB Season: AL Edition

Just some quick thoughts before I get into the meat of today's post …

… if you haven't yet clicked on the songs on the right side of the page, do yourself a favor and do so now while reading. I highly recommend "Grounds for Divorce" by Elbow. It's a toast to a dead friend known as the "seldom-seen kid," but there's nothing sad about this one; it's a tight, grinding, drinking song with great lyrics:

"Mondays is for drinking to the seldom-seen kid;

I've been working on a cocktail called Grounds for Divorce"

If, at the 1:15 mark, you are not properly fired up when the power chords take over, drive immediately to your closest hospital's Emergency Room because you are dead inside.

… I admit that I like to gamble, but I don't like risking my hard-earned (Ed. note. hardly-earned) money. So I take utmost pleasure in ESPN's Streak for the Cash and CentSports.com. Recently, my streak on ESPN reached nine wins and I was practically hyperventilating at making my next pick, which took me three full days. I lost, of course, and thus began a five-game losing streak. CentSports is even better – through the magic of advertisers, the administrators of CentSports give you a dime to begin betting. If you win, continue placing bets at your leisure. You can cash out after you reach $10.00. If you happen to lose all your winnings at any point, they give you another dime. Completely risk-free! What could be better?

… reader Phil* recently asked me how I think the Dodgers will do this year. I'll do you one better, Phil - I'll make predictions for all teams and postseason awards! If anyone has ever done this on the world wide internets before, I'm unaware of it and frankly, surprised. Upon further review, however, this post is looking too long, so expect the NL later in the week.

*Name changed for privacy reasons. Or just pick any reason. I don't really care either way.

AL East W L

  1. Boston Red Sox 97 65
  2. New York Yankees 94 68
  3. Tampa Bay Rays 89 73
  4. Toronto Blue Jays 74 88
  5. Baltimore Orioles 70 92

AL Central W L

  1. Minnesota Twins 88 74
  2. Cleveland Indians 87 75
  3. Detroit Tigers 78 84
  4. Kansas City Royals 76 86
  5. Chicago White Sox 71 91

AL West W L

  1. Anaheim Angels 86 76
  2. Oakland A's 84 78
  3. Texas Rangers 74 88
  4. Seattle Mariners 66 96

AL MVP: Grady Sizemore

AL Cy Young: Josh Beckett

AL Rookie of the Year: Matt Wieters

AL Manager of the Year: Terry Francona

AL Notes: The Red Sox rotation goes eight-deep, which is a recipe for success … a delicious recipe … although Brad Penny and John Smoltz should each count as only one-half each … but Kevin Youkilis will come close to winning the MVP … as will Miguel Cabrera … personally, I can't wait for some Hank Steinbrenner sound bites this fall … welcome to the era of 89 wins being a disappointment in Tampa … the Blue Jays may have the worst offense in baseball … yes, I am including the Pirates … and the Astros … anyone picking someone other than Matt Wieters to win the AL Rookie of the Year just likes to play devil's advocate … and should be punched in the teeth accordingly … Cleveland is garnering too much love for my tastes … which we've already established includes delicious recipes of deep starting rotations … of which the Indians have none … and why I'm riding Ron Gardenhire, the Twins and their young strike-throwers … the Royals will be recognized on Baseball Tonight at some point this season … honestly, I don't know what to expect from El Tigres … other than trading Miguel Cabrera to Boston at the deadline … I am not looking forward to anything Ozzie Guillen has to say after the White Sox start off 6-18 … but mainly because the sound of his voice gives me cramps … look for Nick Adenhart to have a successful rookie season in Anaheim … but mark my words, the California Anaheim Angels of Los Angeles are on their way down … will Billy Beane and the A's trade Matt Holliday for a boatload of Cuban prospects at the trade deadline … why are you asking me … how the fuck am I supposed to know? … for all you fantasy nerds out there, beware Chris Davis's obscene strikeout totals in Texas … but enjoy the immense power anyway … my god, the Mariners are an absolute mess, aren't they?

Stay tuned for Part Two: The NL Edition later in the week, and as always, thanks for coming and suckling Daddy's Sugar Ball.

3.17.2009

St. Patty's Day and Links

First happy St. Patrick's day to all our readers. Go have a beer and remember to drink a Jameson...


Today we debut a new addition to my weekly Link posting called The Jerk Store… basically it is a list of who I think are the DSB jerks of the week…So here it is the DSBs Jerks of the week


All those Hockey Jerks that think the NHL should ban fighting:

Why you are Jerks: With all the problems in hockey this…THIS is what you feel is needed to change hockey? Eliminate the fights? Every time I attend a hockey game (which is not as often as it should be) I hope that I leave there with the ability to describe it the next day as: “I went to the fights last night and a hockey game broke out.” I root for the goons. I like the goons. This is the scenario: We are going to put 5 guys on ice with glove that are over sized and restrict movement, sticks of wood, aluminum and carbon fiber and they are going to try to put a six ounce piece of vulcanized rubber into a small net guarded by a guy wearing enough padding to stop a bullet. By the way this is all going to happen in a rink, which is a nice way of saying cage. Yes, this is incredibly frustrating but if you fight with the other players who are also wearing pads just like you we are going to ban you from the game. You have got to give these guys a release… and a reason for people to show up. Just like NASCAR races are only cool when they have huge wreck some hockey games are only fun to watch when the player drop the gloves.


The Philadelphia Eagles and Dan Leone

Why they are Jerks: The Philadelphia Eagles fired game-day employee Dan Leone because he criticized the team on Facebook. Seriously.

Dan Leone, a West Gate Chief (WTF is that?) and a six year employee for the Eagles, called him himself "fucking devastated" because safety Brian Dawkins had signed with Denver
, adding that the Eagles are "retarded." I agree with the retarded portion of his Facebook update...The Eagles are retarded but not for having let Dawkins go.

I know this is not a free speech issue, it's an employer-employee issue. Leone is obviously a die-hard fan after seeing pictures of him wearing those gag-inducing throwback jersey colors on local TV. Should his peripheral employment by the team really preclude him from opining on moves by the Eagles on Facebook? Are NFL teams that petty and controlling?

You bet your ass they are. In every city that has one NFL teams are incredibly powerful. Hell, in Pittsburgh
if Dan Rooney told the city to vote an Isaly Chipped Ham Sandwich in as Mayor it would win outright. Absolute power corrupts absolutely, and the kind of power and popularity NFL teams wield enables them to not only squash Jerks like Leone, but to garner the praises of their faithful.

Was Leone
a jerk who said something stupid… I mean letting Dawkins go (for a six year contract) was not all that bad a move. Did he overreact? Of course. By default (he is an Eagles fan), but he was a game day employee. So the question is this:
Is Eagles management trolling Facebook looking for negative remarks (would not surprise me) or did some fellow employee forward a link? If the later is the case then that guy is a Jerk too.


Cory Lidle’s Widow... Yeah that’s right, I’m going there!

Why she is a Jerk: On October 11, 2006 Cory Lidle drove a hard line drive into the center field wall…Wait that’s not right… he drove his plane into a Manhattan apartment building killing his co-pilot/instructor and himself. Now his widow Melanie Lidle is suing the airplane manufacturer for 50 million dollars. This 50 million fucking dollars figure is based on his former agent claiming that Lidle would have made 45 million dollars as a player/coach in baseball. WTF? Lidle was 35 and going to make 3 million dollars the next year playing baseball for the one team that arguably overpays everyone the New York Yankees. How the fuck was this guy going to make 45 million playing ball over the rest of rapidly diminishing playing career? Also remember that the NTSB, who tend to do a pretty good job regarding determining the cause of plane crashes, ruled pilot error (add that stat to the back of his baseball card).


Jerk Hall of Fame:

Billy Packer: Undeniably a lifelong Jerk…

Why he is a Hall of Fame Jerk: Beyond the recent stories of Billy Packer hiring a psychic to solve the O.J. Simpson murders (another Jerk HOF nominee) Packer has been a point of contention for all March Madness watchers in the past due to his curmudgeon attitude and crack pot analysis of college basketball and especially coaching. I had in the past regrettably defended CBS for keeping him on the air saying it gave us something to bitch about. If you are a frequent reader of DSB you know that the writers here love to bitch. So when CBS dropped him before this year’s college basketball season it was (at least for me) kind of bittersweet. A quick rundown of Packer’s best jerk moments: In 1996 during a Georgetown v. Villanova game Packer called Iverson a “tough monkey” and later was forced to apologize. In 2000, Packer before a men's basketball game in Cameron Indoor Stadium, stated, "Since when do we let women control who gets into a men's basketball game? Why don't you go find a women's game to let people into?" when the female student working security asked Packer to show his press pass. One word. Classy. Couple these incidents with his comments about St. John’s not being worthy of a number 1 seed prior to them making the Elite Eight, trashing the #1 slot earned by an undefeated Indiana State team headed by Larry Bird and only defeated by Magic Johnson in the championship game and the very public misfire of 2006 where Packer stated that the mid-majors did not deserve inclusion at the expense of “better” teams from larger conferences…needless to say Packer was eating crow when the Wichita State Shockers (a Bearcat favorite), Bradley and George Mason (in the Final Four) became to zenith of a Cinderella story Tourney. But nothing beats his use of the word “fag” in 2007 during an interview with Charlie Rose. "I can assure you I will use that phrase again and I won't think twice about it," Packer told the Philadelphia Inquirer.

"I said he fagged out on me, and it had nothing to do with sexual connotation," Packer, 67, said Wednesday in a phone interview. "I got to know Charlie a number of years ago and have great admiration for his program and intellect." Nothing like getting called to the carpet and saying: “Fuck it. Like I care what you think.”

This March will have a little less Madness without him… which is fine. Because it is supposed to be about basketball… with Billy Packer around it was always about Billy Packer.

So to you Billy Packer I say: The Jerk Store called and they are all out of YOU…


LINKS!!!


The ten most racist moments on TV...


Whores are using social networks to drum up business. Really... twittering for tricks. You can't make this stuff up.


MacGyver the movie is in the works... Awesome!


15 super hot women from Venezuela


Sex Myths Debunked


Video!!!


I am pretty sure that Max Power has railed against the D-Bag that is Pete Wentz... now you have another reason to think this guy is a tool





wow... what a douche

The number of boarder jumpers escaping from this van after it barrel rolls is unreal... but hey we don't have an immigration problem or anything.



Bearcat’s Not Quite Top Ten, Top Ten Game Shows that Sucked.

10. Hollywood Squares (I’ll take Jm J. Bullock for the block. It’s fucking Tic-Tac-Toe.)

9. Card Sharks (Contestants screamed “Higher”, “Lower” or “Freeze” I screamed change the channel.)

7. Supermarket Sweep (This POS was on the air from 1990 to 1995 and then for some fuckin’ reason again from 2000-2003)

6. Shop ‘til You Drop (A game show where you shop in a fake mall looking for bargains. This show was on the air from 1991 to 2005. I can only assume some people are skipping the 2000’s and just having two 1990’s instead.)

3. The Weakest Link (Mostly because I can’t stand Anne Robinson, the smug limey bitch)

2. Wheel of Fortune (It’s fucking Hang Man.)

1. Nick Arcade/Legends of the Hidden Temple (A tie! Proof that brain dead children in America will watch anything that Nick puts on TV.)

Stuff I thought…

If only those walls could talk. I think they'd say, "I've got mesothelioma."

You know a guy who knows a guy who can really screw us over? Great...I would like two.

Someday this beautiful family heirloom will find its way to a pawn shop.

Fucking off at work can be really tiring if you don’t do it very often.

Mini Rant…(great more bitching from someone I don’t even know)

Anna Nicole Smith’s ex-boyfriend Howard K. Stern and a couple of doctors were charged this week with 11 felony counts regarding conspiracy, unlawfully prescribing a controlled substance and prescribing, administering or dispensing a controlled substance to an addict. No Shit. Really? They were providing her with drugs? Get the fuck out. The California DA who is prosecuting these sycophants described it this way: "These individuals repeatedly and excessively furnished thousands of prescription pills to Anna Nicole Smith, often for no legitimate medical purpose," You read that right thousands. A short read of any news report about these charges goes into amazing detail about the unbelievable volume of drugs that were not only provided to but ingested by the woman. The four members of Motley Crue used few drugs over the course of entire tours compared to the final five weeks of Smith. Seriously… read the reports.

Stern and company used Smith as a cash cow. She was worth billions after her sham marriage to that prune looking oil tycoon and those around her wanted access to the dollars. The best way keep that cash flowing was to keep Smith in a constant state of drug induced stupor. Howard K. Stern looks like a slime ball. From his slick hair and persona to his self righteous attitude about Anna “wishes” he has been, just like everyone else associated with this woman, repulsive. It was obvious from the beginning that he and her handlers allowed this women to live her life in a prescription drug haze that on more than one occasion hung between life and either coma or death. Stern and the doctors most likely are responsible not only for the death of this strange but at one time stunningly beautiful woman but also for her son Daniel. Following her passing it was pretty obvious that Stern thought he has hit the lottery. He made the claim to what he assumed was his daughter and even after the paternity tests showed he was not the father he attempted to gain custody via the courts. Stern and the others will never stand trial for these deaths, nor do I really think that they should…but you have to wonder if they even care. My guess is… They don’t.

Thanks for coming and suckling on Daddy’s Sugar Ball be sure to comment below.

Bearcat

3.16.2009

Random Thoughts from the Southern Outpost - Day 4

Some random thoughts from Day 4 of the ACC basketball tournament in Atlanta ...

• Either the Atlanta Hawks or the NBA needs to get their heads out of their ass. The ACC Championship game was scheduled for a 1pm tipoff at the Georgia Dome. It just so happened that the Hawks had a game against the Portland Trail Blazers at the exact same time right next door. Why would they have not moved this game to 2 or 5? My guess is that they think they are bigger than any other game in town.

• When did teams start bringing chairs or stools out onto the court during timeouts? And more importantly, why? The only advantage I can see is that a circle of players and coaches can see the plays...but is the current row of chairs on the bench that much of a hindrance? Does the scrubini walk-on at the end of the bench really need to know what inbounds play is going to be run?

• After watching her sideline report her way around all weekend, I can say with certainty that Heather Cox is vastly underrated. In a world where Erin Andrews dominates the media attention and all the fanboys' lurid fantasies, Cox doesn't get the recognition she deserves. Maybe she's just in my wheelhouse, but I think she's damn fine. Judge for yourself.

• Leonard Hamilton must get up every morning and thank his lucky stars for Sidney Lowe. Because if it wasn't for Lowe, Hamilton would be the most clueless coach working in the ACC. In the championship game, Hamilton ran no plays to take advantage of Florida State's massive height and athleticism advantage. Hamilton must have forgotten that 7'1", 241 lb center Solomon Alabi was still on his team since he virtually banished him to the bench for most of the second half.

• How in the hell did Arizona make it into the Big Dance? I don't have a particular rooting interest in any of the teams that got the short end of the stick, but it seems to me that St. Mary's had a compelling argument. They were 26-6 and that includes going 6-3 while their best player was out with a broken hand. That means they were 20-3 with him in the lineup. How are they not more deserved than Arizona who went 19-13 and 9-9 in a weak Pac-10?

• Why are 2 teams who won their conference tournaments forced to participate in the play-in game? Alabama State and Morehead State are slated to play for the opportunity to face Louisville on Tuesday night in Dayton. Why can't the last two at-large bids play this game? Wouldn't a Maryland/Wisconsin matchup be more compelling? You could still slate that winner in as an #11 seed in one of the regions. The only saving grace this year is that the winner of the game can stay in Dayton for the 1st round and won't be forced to travel.

• Did you know that Florida State's dance team is called the Golden Girls? Once I got the image of Bea Arthur and Betty White shaking their moneymakers out of my head, I was able to enjoy their performance at the timeouts and halftime. I'm not sure if their dance moves are extremely technical or groundbreaking, but they are a HUGE upgrade over the Duke cheerleaders. And you can book them for your next event.


Thanks for coming and suckling on Daddy's Sugar Ball...

3.15.2009

Random Thoughts from the Southern Outpost - Day 3

Some random thoughts from Day 3 of the ACC basketball tournament in Atlanta ...

• Today started out with the Atlanta St. Patrick's Day Parade...I don't know if it was the weather (40 degrees and rainy) or the lack of Irish descendants in the Atlanta area, but it's the first time I can honestly say I saw more people in a parade than those watching it. Seriously, Atlanta...what was the point?

• This is my 12th year coming to the ACC tournament and every year I am amazed at the loathing and sheer hatred for North Carolina and Duke by the other 10 ACC schools. If you weren't blatantly rooting for North Carolina or Duke today, you were hoping for a Florida State/Maryland final. Is that really a matchup anyone wants to see?

• Is there some unwritten rule that says pep band directors can't use songs from the last 5 years? I think I heard 3 recent songs the entire weekend so far (Coldplay's "Viva la Vida", Kanye West's "Golddigger", and the White Stripes "Seven Nation Army"). But for every one of those, I heard tons of songs from the '70s and '80s (to just name a few: a-ha's "Take on Me", Pat Benatar's "Heartbreaker", and the Edgar Winter Group's "Free Ride"). What about Katy Perry's "Hot N Cold" or Justin Timberlake's "Sexyback"? Why am I being tortured by the 3rd rendition of the B-52's "Love Shack"?

• The next installment of debatable topics from my friend Kyle...today's issue is: with the automakers getting massive amounts of money in the bailout, why is Chevrolet still sponsoring $1000 scholarships for the college basketball Players of the Game?

• Why would anyone want to work or play for Gary Williams at Maryland? All game he does nothing but constantly turn to the bench and yell at or berate a coach or player about events that just happened in the game.

• In person, I have seen how truly crappy the officiating is...I'm not sure the referees know what traveling is anymore. They are pretty good about correctly getting the step without a dribble to start a drive towards the hoop, but they are completely missing anything to do with a pivot foot or blatant steps especially underneath the basket.

• Based on fans' comments, I'm not sure they understand what "over the back" is...if we both jump up straight and I reach over you, that's clean...otherwise why would I ever jump if you were between me and the ball? According to your ignorant protests and pleas every time a properly boxed-out, offensive player touched or even rebounded the ball he should be whistled for over the back.

• Although requested from fellow editor Bearcat, I do not have pictures of the Florida State cheerleaders...however, I have a picture (albeit very grainy and out of focus) of ESPN's own Howie Schwab trying to show that he has some game.


The Schwab was walking through the hotel lobby around midnight or so when a young man (second from the left in the picture) called him over to say hello. Apparently the Schwab and this guy hit it off and he was asked to join the table. By 1am, it was just 4 of them left at the table and by 2:15am (when this photo was taken) things had become much cozier. Here's hoping the young blonde on the right got a chance to Stump the Schwab.

Check back tomorrow for more random thoughts from Day 4 of the ACC tournament.

Thanks for coming and suckling Daddy's Sugar Ball...

3.14.2009

Random Thoughts from the Southern Outpost - Day 2

Some random thoughts from Day 2 of the ACC basketball tournament in Atlanta...

• North Carolina, Florida State, and Duke all had to come back in the last minute of their games today to advance to the semi-finals. That means all three are still alive to be the NCAA champion in 3 weeks. Why? Because no team has ever been bounced from the conference tournament in their first round of play and gone on to win the big dance. So...when you fill out those brackets, leave Pittsburgh, UConn, Clemson, Wake Forest, Kansas, and Oklahoma out of your Champion slot. Then again, maybe it just means they're due...

• For the second day in a row, ticket availability here has been easier than Lindsay Lohan after some drinks and a couple of lines of coke. This would be great if my friends and I were only buyers in this market...however, because of the continual upgrades to our seats that we have made we now hold 8 extra tickets for the rest of the weekend. I can't tell if it's the location (Atlanta compared to the more ACC-centric North Carolina venues), the stadium (the Georgia Dome compared to basketball-only arenas), or the dismal state of the economy. Whatever the reason, all the scalpers here are taking a bath...at least until Duke & UNC make the Sunday final.

• Toney Douglas got jobbed in the ACC Player of the Year voting. North Carolina's own Ty Lawson topped Douglas to win this year. However, Douglas was the leading scorer in the ACC and was voted the Defensive Player of the Year. And after sitting through a painful Florida State/Georgia Tech game today it became crystal clear that Douglas single-handedly carries this team. On top of all that FSU is coached by the perpetually inept Leonard Hamilton and for Douglas to carry them to a #4 seed in this conference tournament is remarkable.

• Apparently a new mini-feature from this trip will be debatable topics from my friend Kyle...today's issue is: what is the most boring job? Kyle contends it's the person responsible for sitting at the no re-entry point at an airport. They have to sit there without a book or a tv and with minimal contact with another human being (since when's the last time you actually tried to re-enter the gate area?) Please share your most boring jobs in the comments below.

• Speaking of airports...how come for carry-on luggage we have to limit our liquids/gels to 3 ounces per container, yet I could probably fit about 6 items in a clear ziploc bag making a total of 18 ounces? So I have to throw away a 4.5 ounce container of shaving cream but I can have a cumulative of 18 ounces of flammable/ignitable/destructive gel and/or liquid? I'm glad this makes sense to the TSA, because it makes no sense to me...

• Does anyone else remember when hotel pay-per-view would let you view a movie for a minute before they would charge your room for the flick? When I was younger than I am today and could take care of business in a hurry, this feature was a godsend for the fiscally responsible masturbators of the world. Needless to say, this "perk" is no longer available in today's hotel rooms (or at least the one I'm staying in).

• Here's the previously promised picture from my seats. Keep in mind this was taken from a crappy camera phone that has absolutely no zoom feature (or at least one that I can find). This picture shows Georgia Tech coach Paul Hewitt gathering his squad around him for a late-game timeout. Based on the Yellow Jackets' performance, one can only guess Hewitt is doodling penises on the white board for the team.


Check back tomorrow for more random thoughts from Day 3 of the ACC tournament.

Thanks for coming and suckling Daddy's Sugar Ball...

3.13.2009

Alimony's is Real...

A little investigative reporting by your Links Editor (Bearcat) shows that the story from Max Power's Waste Mangement guys he met in Atlanta about Bruce Pearl and his ex-wife's salon were true. Read his fantastic post here.

Mrs. Ex-Bruce Pearl's salon even has it's own website. Check that out here... http://www.alimonyssalon.com/

In fact after about 30 seconds of searching on Google I was able to find this sweet news article from KnoxNews.com. I have taken the liberty to cut and past the text below for you, our loyal reader.

Kim Shrigley started a new chapter in her life Tuesday with the opening of Alimony's Hair & Nail Salon.
She funded the new business with money from her divorce from Bruce Pearl, the University of Tennessee men's basketball coach.
The name is aggressive, Shrigley said. But, "It's mine."
The unisex salon, at 7115 Kingston Pike in the West Hills area, offers clients hair and nail service, and Shrigley, who now goes by her maiden name, hopes to expand someday and include Botox treatments, facials and waxing.
Her ultimate goal for clients: "I want them to have had a nice experience and see that you can go through some horrible stuff and come out on top," she said. "It's not the end of the world. It feels like it at first, but it's not."
A nurse by profession, Shrigley in June dreamed up the idea of a salon because it would allow her flexibility to care for her two younger children, ages 13 and 14. She and Pearl also have two older children who attend UT.
She also thought "it would be fun," she said. "I've had friends who've run their own place. I thought, 'Why not?' "
Shrigley obtained a business license Nov. 1. She hired her hair stylist, Bubby Browning, who helped recruit three other workers. She is proprietor and manages the books and money.
She and Browning readied the store themselves. She selected the salon's bright green colors with black decor. She also textured and painted the walls herself.
The business's name, Alimony's, is written on the store front with green cursive and a red heart on top of the "i."
"The heart up there is to be that extra pain in the ass," she said with a laugh.
She acknowledged that people will likely associate her with her marriage to and divorce from Pearl. Her former husband, who will earn $1.6 million this season as coach of the men's basketball team, filed for divorce in September 2007.
But "If I can turn that negative into a positive, I can use that for a little while," she said.
A 15 percent discount is offered to clients who receive alimony. No divorce papers are needed for proof, she said.
The business is open 9 a.m.-6 p.m. Tuesday through Saturday.
"I think it's great," said customer Leslie Fischer of the salon, as Browning blow-dried her hair Tuesday. As for the name, she said, "It's cute."
Lola Alapo may be reached at 865-342-6376.



This picture is from the news article.

Thanks for coming and suckling on Daddy's Sugar Ball... check back later tonight for my Links posting...

Bearcat

Random Thoughts from the Southern Outpost

Some random thoughts from Day 1 of the ACC basketball tournament in Atlanta...

• Does anyone really want to see any seed higher than a #8 in ANY conference basketball tournament? This would limit all tournaments to 3 days and actually make things interesting in the regular season to make the top 8 (especially in big-numbered conferences like the Big East and Big 12). That was evident here in Atlanta where you couldn't give tickets away for the afternoon session of Virginia Tech/Miami and Clemson/Georgia Tech.

• As much as I know about basketball, I know nothing. The previously mentioned afternoon session proved that beyond belief. I both lost my ESPN streak and my centsports.com account amount on a parlay on Miami giving away 3.5 points (only to lose by 18 pts) and Clemson giving away 9.5 points (only to lose outright by 5 pts).

• Sidney Lowe, head coach of the North Carolina State Wolfpack, is easily the worst coach in the ACC and without much thought I would say the worst coach in D1. Every inbounds play from the frontcourt was purposely thrown to the safety valve in the backcourt. EVERY play. Let me see if I have this right...the ball is 8 feet from the basket, but instead I'll hurl it 55 feet away to start an unsuccessful and poorly conceived play that uses 33 of the 35 seconds play clock. He must have pictures of the AD with an underage sheep or something...how he still has a job is beyond me.

• Apparently Terrell Owens was at the afternoon session for the Georgia Tech/Clemson game. I didn't run into him, nor did I see him. Because if I did and in the grand tradition of all that is right on DSB, I would have taught him a lesson (or at least harrassed him mercilessly).

• From my friend Kyle comes this topic that is up for debate...from a non-basketball perspective, who's more miserable after their deadline trade deal - Vladimir Radmanivoc or Adam Morrison? Morrison is a plaid-wearing, country bumpkin from the meth lab, trailer park town that is known as Spokane. And now he's in La-La Land with the Paris Hiltons of the world. Or is it Radmanovic who was a staple on the LA club scene who is now relegated to the genteel, southern charm in Charlotte? I'm favoring Radmanovic...but it's a lot closer than I expected.

• After watching 10 hours of ACC basketball, we retired to the hotel bar and got sucked into the UConn/Syracuse 6 OT classic. How great was this game? I know in this ESPN-dominated society we tend to overhype the just happened events as the greatest ever. But this one deserves some serious discussion on that topic. Even Len Elmore told me the same thing in the hotel elevator.

• While at the hotel bar, I spoke with some guys in waste management from Knoxville, Tennessee and learned some interesting things. Mind you...at this point it is all rumor and cannot be substantiated by me...but I'm going to reprint the story anyway. Apparently, about 2 years ago Bruce Pearl (head basketball coach at UT) was going though a messy divorce and was pretty much screwing every coed in sight on the campus. And in some form of retribution his wife opened up a dress shop in Knoxville named Alimony. Nice touch!

• One more fact I picked up at the hotel bar - - 0% of drunk douchebags are successful at hitting on cocktail waitresses at hotel bars. This inebriated asshole from Maryland was relentless in his pursuit only to get Heismaned in the end. Do you think it had to do with the fact that you kept pointing to your Cash (for Johnny) t-shirt and shouting "Straight Cash Homey"? I do...

Check back tomorrow for more random thoughts and in tomorrow's post I'll include pictures from my seat to make everyone out there jealous.

Thanks for coming and suckling Daddy's Sugar Ball...

3.10.2009

Music you should be listening to

Lisa Hannigan – “I Don’t Know”

You may know Hannigan and her haunting voice from her collaboration with Damien Rice on his breakthrough debut album. Where Rice’s compositions usually explore the dark, sparse, lonely corners…this song off of Hannigan’s debut solo album Sea Sew is light and bouncy.

Musically, the song is driven by a small string section, a trumpet, and brushed drums. This might be the one of the unlikeliest pop songs and yet it’s only a matter of time before it’s in an iPod commercial.

Check out “I Don’t Know” if you like: Feist, Jenny Lewis, Erin McKeown


K’naan – “Waving Flag”

K’naan spent his childhood in the middle of the Somali Civil War and received one of the last visas out of the country. He found refuge with his family in Toronto and began learning English from hip-hop albums. All of his experience and familiarity come to form a reggae-tinged socially conscious rap with a catchy chorus. And bonus points for looking like that guy on “My Name is Earl”.

Check out “Waving Flag” if you like: Bob Marley, Wyclef Jean, Flobots


Coconut Records – Davy

Coconut Records is really just the one-man solo project from actor Jason Schwartzman. Whether you like Schwartzman as an actor or not (Rushmore, Shopgirl, etc), I think his real calling may be in music. 2006 saw the release of their first record (Nighttiming) and perhaps the best song of that year, “West Coast”. Nothing here comes up to that lofty standard, but Davy is a tight, compact set of pure pop songs echoing the Beatles and Jon Brion-produced material.

Songs to download: Microphone, Drummer, The Summer

Check out Davy if you like: Beatles, Aimee Mann, Phantom Planet


Ryan Adams – “Fix It”

Compared to his earlier solo work, Adams has worked at paring down his songwriting since forming his latest backing band (the Cardinals). Released on last year’s Cardinology, this is by no means a complex song; yet I still find myself coming back to it based on the emotion and attitude of the song. Adams seems ready to burst at the seams in response to a relationship gone awry.

Check out “Fix It” if you like: Drive-By Truckers, Old 97s, Counting Crows


The Gaslight Anthem – “The ’59 Sound”

Due to their New Jersey roots and their rock and roll sound that harkens back to another time, these guys have been compared to Springsteen. However, I think they owe much more to the roots movement that came on the heels of the punk revolution. The bad news for The Gaslight Anthem is that unfortunately in 2009 there was no way this song was going to be a hit.

Check out “The ’59 Sound” if you like: The Replacements, Joe Strummer

As always, please feel free to comment below and thanks for coming and suckling on Daddy’s Sugar Ball.

3.07.2009

Mini Rant...Ray-Ray gets his.


Ray Lewis thought he would be in high demand. He wasn't. Lewis thought he'd get he would get a ludicrous amount of money to come dancing out of someone else’s tunnel. He didn't. So he had to crawl back to Baltimore with his tail between his legs. Ray-Ray is a Raven for life, but only because no one else wanted his antics and look at me attitude. As a Steelers fan I hope those hated Baltimore fans never forget that. I surely will not. Every time he comes dancing out of the locker room I am going to be reminded that Ray-Ray is not only a murderer but an unwanted side show in the former murder capitol of the US. We will be forced to watch ESPN talk about his leadership, his drive, his passion for the game and his antics will be sold as entertainment for the masses. But the reality is that he is a snitch (ratting on his homies to avoid his own sentencing), a clown in shoulder pads, who could not take his pre-game Krumping and whoop it up attitude anywhere but where he already was. A bitter pill for Lewis. Who better to have to swallow it? Ray-Ray is a self-styled outlaw who has cultivated a sleazy persona. The saving grace in this is the ultimate teammate and leader who betrayed his team was then forced to watch as the cruelest of mistresses, the free market, betrayed him. You are unwanted Lewis. Why Baltimore was willing to welcome you back after you were spurned from your big pay day courtship is an enigma. Now we will watch as you spin this reversal of fortune as loyalty to the only team that will have you. Christ... you are pathetic.


Please take me back...You know you were always the only one for me baby.

Sorry for the crappy picture we don't have enough readers to afford Photoshop so you get my crappy attempt to merge Say Anything and Ray-Ray... you get the point right.

Thanks for coming and suckling on Daddy's Sugar Ball,

Bearcat

3.05.2009

College Basketball and Links...

Welcome back to DSB and prepare yourself for a craptastic edition of the Thursday Links.

First a couple thoughts about College Basketball…

It’s March so we are officially entering one of the best times of the year to be a sports fan. You have baseball warming up, even more so this year with the World Baseball Classic. But more importantly we have Championship week, Selection Sunday and the NCAA tournament (the greatest playoff system in sports). My preliminary thoughts of the up coming tournament: Pitt, UConn, and Oklahoma and UNC are the favorites and they should be. Couple teams that I am looking at closely: LSU (going to win what looks like an unimpressive SEC), UCLA (Not impressive in the PAC-10 but can they make the Final Four…AGAIN?), Louisville (you know I love those Big East teams and they could win the Big East regular season and end up a 1 seed), Michigan State (Izzo can get it done), Mizzou (I did not see this team all year until they dropped the hammer on Oklahoma, DeMarre Carroll was impressive and they looked strong against a solid OK team.) But what the fuck do I know about college basketball? Year-in-year-out I am reminded that I know nothing about college basketball but I do know on thing... College Basketball is going to be changed (for the better) by the NBA's economic meltdown.

Every year at this time we talk about who the big players are and are they going to stick around for another year or are they going to jump at the chance of becoming instant millionaires thanks to the NBA Draft. Mark my words… If a player has the chance to get drafted he will go THIS year. Guys are not going to sit around and wait another year to get paid this time around hoping to be a lottery pick next year. Example A: DeJuan Blair of Pitt. He is the perfect example for this posting because he is not a lock to be a lottery pick this year and I watch a lot of Pitt basketball. He is really good, and might have a very solid NBA career but he does not have the prototypical body that NBA coaches and GMs look for in a center. DeJuan Blair will go this year even if he is not projected as a lottery pick. Everyone else will go as well. Why? Because they have to. The NBA is going to have a lockout. It is going to happen after the 2010-2011 season and it is going to be a blood bath. It needs to be a blood bath for the owners to make it worth their while. The NBA is hemorrhaging cash like General Motors. Things are so bad that they had to take a loan out that is between 175-200 million dollars in order to cover operating costs (i.e. salaries). Bill Simmons in what might be his best column in a long time put it best by calling it the No Benjamins League.

So what does this have to do with College Basketball getting better? Right now everything. Players were jumping ship at an alarming rate just a few years ago to cash in on the riches of the NBA, it was serious problem for the feeder system (college basketball) and for the NBA, young players unable to handle it on and off the court. The NBA reacted by instituting the age limit of 19 years old for draft eligibility. This helped both college basketball and the NBA. The college game got players who might have just jumped right to the NBA out of high school or held on to some talent and the NBA theoretically got a more mature player. Guess what is going to happen this year. The college ranks are going to empty out. Anyone over 19 and capable of dribbling a basketball is going to declare for the draft over the next two seasons. They would be stupid not to. There are only two seasons of NBA basketball left to play before we are going to see a lockout. A lockout is going to happen and it will last one season if not possibly more. These guys have got to declare now so that they can get paid. Better to have two season of earning three million dollars than to have one season of getting paid five, and that’s IF your draft stock goes up between now and next year (notice the big if). These players have to assume a lockout is coming. They have to prepare for it and the agents are going to tell them this. So between this year and next year expect everyone to bail on the college game. No one is staying for their senior year. So Pitt, get ready to wave goodbye to Blair. And everyone else hoping for another year with that sharpshooter point guard or another year with that forward with the sweet cross over… don’t hold your breath.

But there is good news. With a lockout comes quality players stuck in the college ranks and expect any new CBA to up the age restriction to 20 with real limits on rookie salaries. This can only improve the college game and I look forward to it. It will provide for more teams with quality players and more players staying for that forth year. Just what the college game needs. So get ready because college basketball might become really, really good.

LINKS!!!

Farts might be an aphrodisiac… good to know. Dutch Oven time honey!

Ten worst ways to break up with a woman

Twenty great beer quotes...

The hottest women of radio… You know the saying you got a face for radio? Not so for these babes.

This superhuman douche bag is charged with child abuse for turning on the clothes dryer with his one year old son inside. I have been racking my brain for an appropriate punishment. I am torn between placing him inside an industrial washer (kind of like and auto-water boarder) or forcing him to be a prison ironing board. Both might be too nice for this fuck-tard.

This weeks must click link... Six strangest objects people were caught having sex with.

Bearcat’s Not Quite Top Ten, Top Ten Worst Places To Have a Heart Attack…

10. On the toilet.
9. Airplane bathroom.
6. In the Champagne Room… there goes your American Express account.
5. While having sex with a prostitute… there goes your whole wallet.
3. Disney World… do you really want to go out with “It’s a Small World” in your head?
2. While dodging traffic.
1. During charades.

Mini Rant…

So the Cowboys dropped the terminal clubhouse cancer that is T.O. today. Well surprise, surprise…How did that fail to work out? Even after T.O. got a huge payday at the end of last season with a four year contract, he was still unhappy. Jerry Jones who is currently looking for cash to help pay for his 1 billion (as in 1000 millions) dollar cathedral to the Dallas Cowboys football stadium is going to eat nine million dollars and cut Owens. After three seasons, one attempted suicide, several locker room scuffles/meltdowns, tears, loads of bad press, epic failures to reach the playoffs and/or losses in the first round, Jerry “My hot tub is shaped like Texas Stadium…that’s right” Jones had enough. That is too bad because T.O. and Jones deserved each other; apparently there was just not enough TV time to go around between those two. So now what? My guess is either Dan Snyder is already on a private jet ready to genuflect before pancreatic cancer personified and sign him to a multi-year deal or the NFL pooper-scooper that is Al Davis will pick up this wide receiver/turd off the street and sign him to a deal with huge incentives. Either way T.O. will get paid, complain about the lack of respect, and ESPN commentators will discuss how T.O. only wants to play football and that he is misunderstood. Look out here comes the Keyshawn interview now, it will probably be the Sunday Conversation. Congratulations ESPN! I am now changing the channel... Hundred bucks says T.O. wears a red and gold sweater (hint-hint). I have not heard it but I am sure there is some idiot Philly sports radio guy right now doing the drive time with this stupid line idea: "I'm not saying they should do it (long pause) but maybe the Eagles should talk to T.O. (long pause) I'm just throwing it out there. (long pause) McNabb needs a WR threat. I don't think they have to do it. (another long pause) But they were winning games when he was here... you know he can catch the ball. (long dramatic pause) I don't think they have to do it...I'm just saying. Call in to let me know what you think. You're listening to the Sports-X-Man on 1510! Yeah! Baby!" *Multiple cars drive off the highway and several men attempt to light themselves on fire in the Philly Area tonight at 6.*

Thanks for coming and suckling on Daddy's Sugar Ball...

Bearcat

2.25.2009

DSB does the Wonderlic

With the NFL Combine in full swing this week, hundreds of prospective NFL draftees are taking the Wonderlic Test as a measure of their intellectual capacity. You can see an example of the Wonderlic here on ESPN’s page 2.

There is only one problem with the Wonderlic test … it does not properly test for the real-life football intelligence required of NFL players. Therefore, DSB now presents the new and improved NFL Combine Wonderlic test. You have 20 minutes to finish this test; 45 minutes if you are a defensive lineman or Vince Young.

Question 1

Your have five baby mommas and seven babies residing in three different states. What percentage of your signing bonus can you expect to keep?

A. 100% (Those kids don’t look anything like me, Maury!)
B. 55% (Yeah, those my kids but Daddy needs to put a new Lambo in the garage.)
C. 25% (I have a crappy lawyer)
D. 0% (Travis Henry will be buying me lunch after my rookie season)

Question 2

You have been informed that your name is on next month’s list for a random drug test. What do you do?

A. Cycle off, duh.
B. Pick up a Whizzinator on the way home
C. Contact Bill Romanowski
D. Go home, toke up, and forget about it … what’s the worst that can happen?

Question 3

Cocaine sells for between $80-$100 a gram. If one of your “buddies” has 100 grams burning a hole in his pocket and needs to get rid of it what do you do?

A. Call Santonio Holmes
B. Call up the strippers … House Party!!!
C. Keep it for game day, it worked for LT
D. Cut it and cook it down to make crack there by doubling the street value. Simple economics.

Question 4

You have just signed a six year contract and are the highest paid player at your position. How do you celebrate this momentous occasion?

A. What’s momentous?
B. Find my buddy with the “stuff” burning a hole in his pocket and call in the strippers.
C. Ask Matt Leinart to come on over and to bring his “friends”
D. Go on ESPN and throw a tantrum about how you are finally getting paid and you can now feed your family.

Question 5

Finish this sentence: I ain’t getting ________.

A. Respect
B. Paid
C. Respect or Paid

Question 6

You child is five years old. You are 21 years old. How old will you be when you can stop paying child support?

A. For this kid or the last kid?
B. Who pays child support?
C. I already told you in question one that ain’t my f’ing kid.
D. 13 years, 2 months and 5 days. But who’s counting?

Question 7

There are four quarters in a football game. You had eight tackles during the game. How many tackles per quarter did you average?

A. More than the white defensive lineman and he just got a new three year deal!
B. Those weren’t tackles they were executions.
C. Four
D. If the defensive coordinator wasn’t a racist I would have that new deal.

Question 8

What is the NFL’s fine for this end zone celebration?


A. $10,000
B. It does not matter. I am an entertainer … this is the cost of my art.
C. My shoe deal will cover it.
D. Two months child support. Sorry kids.

Question 9

Finish this sentence: In the strip club, I ________.

A. Make it rain on dem hoes …
B. Get grabby because I’m important.
C. Plan the next pleasure cruise on my boat.
D. Try to not jeopardize my Chunky Soup deal.

Question 10

What is the most dangerous part of the locker room?

A. Errant towel snaps … watch the family jewels.
B. Staph
C. Reporters
D. All those needles

Question 11

What should you do if you come into camp overweight?

A. Complain about how you don’t get any respect.
B. Blame it on a pulled hammy.
C. Get the cycle. Not the bicycle.

Question 12 (Last One!)

If you are out and about and you see Bill Belichick at dinner with the team doctor’s wife; what do you do?

A. Give him a heads up on the Valtex you found in the medicine cabinet.
B. Avoid eye contact and leave. When the team doctor mysteriously disappears next week you know nothing.
C. Give Bill a heads up about the GM’s daughter. She likes it rough.
D. Meet coach in the team confessional and accept your penance (10% pay cut to make room under the cap)

Thanks for coming and suckling on Daddy’s Sugar Ball...

Bearcat