Criminals...because sports would be kind of boring with out you guys

NYC Mayor/multi-billionaire did a presser earlier last week just to make sure everyone knows that he expects the DA to play shutdown corner on Plaxico Burress and basically said that he expects a conviction with serious jail time. So with Plax and his thigh hole looking at 3+ years in the clink and with O.J. Simpson getting put away until he is at least 70 years old I thought I would have a rundown of Athletes who have been put in the slammer...

So now I present the The Bearcat Not quite Ten Top Ten Athletes in Jail...

Number 10: In 2001, a judge sentenced Rae Carruth to serve at least 18 years and 11 months in prison. The Carolina Panthers wide receiver was convicted of ordering a hit on his pregnant girlfriend. She scribbled a note implicating her boyfriend before dying. A man who confessed to the shooting said Carruth planned to pay him $5,000 to avoid paying child support. Ray-Ray is a classy guy... some how the NFL broadcasters fail to ever bring this up... I think the NFL currently have a small army of lawyers working to rewrite the history of this guy and completely remove his name from NFL history.

Number 7: Maurice Clarett was once of the best college football players in the country. As a freshman at Ohio State, he rushed for 1,237 yards and 16 touchdown touchdowns. He capped the season by helping his team win the national championship at the Fiesta Bowl. It was his last game for Ohio State. In September 2006, Clarett pleaded guilty to charges of aggravated robbery and carrying a concealed weapon. After getting his goose on (the guy loves grey goose vodka) he was found with an AK-47 and several hand guns... after a short stand off in a wrecked car he had a date with a judge who sentenced Clarett to seven and a half years in prison with the possibility for parole after three and a half. Now that he is can't get his beloved Goose, I'm guessing he has gotten proficient with making toilet wine. I am willing to put money down that the Raiders will be making an offer shortly after his release.

Number 5: In 2004, Mike Danton was sentenced to seven and a half years in prison for a murder-for-hire plot. Prosecutors said the pro hockey center tried to hire a hit man to kill his agent, David Frost. According to court documents, Danton feared Frost would sink his hockey career by publicizing the fact that he was gay... which would totally not be a big deal in the very progressive locker rooms of the NHL. Frost recently had his own courtroom appearance. He was acquitted of sexual exploitation charges involving teenage hockey players and their girlfriends. The fact that you did not know about this just goes to show you how bad the state of hockey is right now... Do you think a jury would have convicted him if he was trying to get Scott Boras fired? I say no... but I am a Pirates fan. I hate Scott Boras.

Number 4: In 1995, former L.A. Rams defensive back Darryl Henley was convicted on drug trafficking charges and received 20 years in prison. Another 21 years were added to the sentence after he admitted to trying to hire a hit man to murder the judge and a witness in his drug trial. (hit men are very popular among athletes apparently) "Ultimately I'm the one that's responsible for what's happened in my life," he told an ESPN reporter in 2000. "But I do think that 90% of it is due to the choices I made, as far associations that I picked." At least he is taking 90% of the responsibility... I like this guy he seems to have learned his lesson.

Number 2: At one point, Vick (AKA Ron Mexico, AKA the human video game) was the highest-paid player in the NFL. Now, according to the Associated Press, he is making 12 cents an hour at a job at the federal penitentiary in Levenworth, Kan., where he's serving a 23-month sentence. Vick's arrest on dog fighting charges and his suspension from the NFL devastated his finances worse than an MC Hammer spending spree. Currently he is filing for bankruptcy from his federally provided rape stand. In court filings, Vick says he has assets of $16 million and liabilities of $20.4 million which is only a slightly better financial situation than being an automaker.

Number 1: After thirteen years of searching for the "real killers" O.J. Simpson was convicted of armed robbery and kidnapping. A jury found Simpson guilty in a 2007 incident where he entered a hotel room with associates carrying guns and took sports memorabilia from two of the most crooked men on the planet earth...errr... collectibles dealers. This guy is everyone consensus number one right? Everyone hates this guy and frankly the Vegas DA's office was never going to let this guy off the hook a second time... I am totally ok with this conviction even if it was based on his prior history. I don't care, just like all the other white people.

A couple links...

Speaking of criminal acts... The 7 most retarded criminal excuses

Keeping on the stupid criminals track...Man arrested after cops find crack in his vomit... "Of course we are not sure if it was his vomit you can't finger print vomit." (Any time I can quote Spinal Tap you know it is a great post)

This guy has a thing for prison tats...

One last criminal for the links... Scott Boras. Ten deals by Scott Boras
Yeah I am piling on Boras...I don't care.

Stuff I thought over the past week...

Screaming at the TV works... whether is be me screaming at some political figure lying out his ass or your basic "throw it" at Big Ben for holding the ball too long this must have an effect right?

Wow, OJ got nine years. That seems like a short sentence for killing your wife.

Here's a free porn movie title idea:"She Didn't See It Coming"

Ladies, I don't get it. Why don't you women love being stalked? I would love to have a chick stalking me.

Work is a lot like alcohol in that it makes the people around you seem more attractive than they actually are.

When studios were scrambling for obscure superheroes (i.e. Watchmen) to make movies about, how on Earth did they overlook Captain Planet?

Is it racist to not want to be around jaundice-colored people?

Something to look forward too in the coming days... a post about craigslist.org and your regular Thursday links.

Thanks for coming and suckling Daddy's Sugar Ball... please comment to let us know what you think.


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