Your Thursday Links and video... Extra Large Thanksgiving Edition

First a quick look at the NFL Rookies that I can think of off the top of my head…If I forgot an import Rookie contributing right now just know that it took me 20 minutes to put this together... I am not doing serious research today. 

Matt Ryan (Falcons) – Atlanta’s Mark Bradley wrote an article Monday calling Ryan the best rookie QB ever. Have we forgotten about Big Ben and his 13-0 start 98 QB rating and taking the Steelers to the AFC Championship game already? This has me extremely pissed right now. 

Darren McFadden (Raiders) – It looks like the Raiders are working McFadden back into the offense. He returned last week after sitting out three weeks with turf toe but only had three carries. This week he had 10 carries for just 38 yards but contributed with 2 touchdowns. He should become a bigger part of the Raiders offense down the stretch due to the fact that the Raiders have no other offensive weapons… the black hole is really becoming just that a black hole. It will suck you in and crush you. 

Leodis McKelvin (Bills) – As a top 15 pick McKelvin was expected to challenge for a starting spot and work his way into the lineup while contributing in the return game. It took McKelvin awhile to break the starting lineup but he showed his potential against the Chiefs (in Arrowhead no less). McKelvin had his first and second career interceptions and returned one of those 64 yards for the touchdown that gave the Bills the lead for good. I have a soft spot of the Bills… is my bias showing? 

Joe Flacco (Ravens) – The most important stat is Flacco is 7-4 as a starter. He completed just 12 of his 26 pass attempts for 182 yards. But he had 2 touchdowns and more importantly no interceptions. His QB rating was slightly higher than that of McNabb and Kolb who combined for an 11. (at least it was not single digits.) Frankly I think I could muster at least a QB rating of 15. Christ the Eagles are in a bad spot… more on that later. 

Chris Johnson (Titans) – Maybe Chris Johnson is hitting the rookie wall. His last three games have been three of his worst. He managed 61 total yards against what is starting to look like a tough Jets defense but he does seem to be slowing down. Luckily for him the Titans face Detroit, Cleveland, and Houston in their next three games. Meaning… he should be ok and he is going to be straight money in Fantasy Football.

Dustin Keller (Jets) – Keller has come on strong the past three weeks. After very little production in his first eight games he has become a reliable target for Favre recently. He’s had at least 6 receptions in each of his last three games including 6 catches for 42 yards Sunday. He now leads rookie tight ends in receiving yards.

Matt Forte (Bears) – The Bears playoff hopes lie with Forte. Forte is on pace to trail only Walter Payton for most yards from scrimmage in Bears franchise history. He has quietly become the best and most consistent rookie running back in a very deep class. Forte had 20 carries for 132 yards and scored two of the Bears three touchdowns against the Rams. Of course after further review… it was against the Rams.

DeSean Jackson (Eagles) – Jackson leads all rookies in receiving yards. It didn’t matter whether it was McNabb throwing him the ball or Kevin Kolb it was nearly intercepted every time. On a team officially going Chernobyl right now this is your bright spot Philly.

Kevin Smith (Lions) – Poor Kevin Smith. He and Calvin Johnson seem to be the only salvageable spots in the car wreck that is your 2008 Detroit Lions. Smith had 86 yards on 16 carries as the hapless Lions fell to a GM like 0-11. Lions management is currently scheduling a hearing with Barney Frank’s committee to seek a bail out. Here is a tip don’t take the Lions private jet.

Harry Douglas (Falcons) – Everyone seems to be contributing for the Falcons. Douglas led the Falcons with 92 receiving yards and had a touchdown (including a 60+ yard punt return). Who knew having your star QB get throw in jail for dog fighting and having your coach defect during the season could be so great for this team.

Steve Slaton (Texans) – Slaton carried the load for the Texans against the Browns. He had 21 carries for 73 yards. The Texans are a fraud… don’t trust them. They will be lousy again next season.

Tim Hightower (Cardinals) – Hightower is back to pleasing fantasy owners but displeasing Cardinals’ fans. Hightower had 21 yards on 10 carries but got into the end zone twice. He is tied with Matt Forte among rookie running backs with 9 touchdowns.

Peyton Hillis (Broncos) – So I guess I was wrong about this guy. I thought for sure after his 116 receiving yards against the Dolphins that would be it. A one time fluke. But then he scores two touchdowns last week. But that had to be it right? He’s supposed to be a fullback. But he produced yet again this Sunday. Hillis had 74 rushing yards and scored the Broncos lone touchdown. He should have a tough time next week against the Jets but then faces the Chiefs the week after that. So basically forget I ever mentioned him…

Davone Bess (Dolphins) – Yeah that is his real name…that's all I got. 

Thoughts I had over the past week that I thought I would share... 

Nobody ever told me 7 Years In Tibet was shot in real time. 

So it turns out that VD is one of those things that CAN"T stay in Vegas. 

Sometimes I cry during sex, but it's usually from the mace. And sometimes I cry during sex because of all the onions. 

Kudos to the porn industry for not parodying children's show titles; What with opportunities like Whore-uh the Sexplorer and Tellyhumpies. Going that route would have been cheap and easy... The porn industry is neither cheap nor easy.

"Honey," she said, and then there was a decidedly *pregnant* pause... She finally resumed speaking again, saying, "I'm drunk." (heart attack avoided)

C'mon, is anybody out there actually ROFL? You're all liars.

Bible spoiler alert: He comes back at the end.

If I was John Connor and I had Summer Glau as my personal Terminator… I would order her to “do” me… I would.

A new addition to the Thursday links…Bearcat’s Not Quite Top Ten

This weeks Not Quite Top Ten... bull shit conversations you will be forced to have at the Thanksgiving table.

10 Typtophan -- YES...we did know that the chemical in turkey that makes us tired is call typtophan. We have this same fucking conversation every year. Can't we talk about a chemical like THC that makes us tired and is actually awesome or something?

9. Christmas ads are earlier this year. The money grubbing fucks in marketing firms would run Christmas ads all year long if they thought it would make you buy more knife sets and George Forman Grills. Who are you Andy Rooney find something new to bitch about.

6. Fried Turkey Accidents. Yeah I saw the video of the red neck who burned his house down after putting a frozen turkey into a tub of molten hot lard. I know this is a slow news cycle but if the local new programs do another expose about some dip shit who rendered his family homeless for the holidays because he is too retarded to know that a grease fire is fucking dangerous I might have to chuck my TV into a deep fryer.

5. The Economy stinks... no shit... can we please not rehash how your 401K has crashed and burned.  Suck it up asshole, I don't care if you lost five large on AIG.

3. Should we invite “Steve” to dinner? You have some poor schmuck friend who can’t afford to head back to his/her hometown for the holidays. He’s going to suck the entire time, but you know you’ll feel like a dick for not inviting him. You have to devise a scheme to not be friends with “Steve” by this time next year. 

2. Lumpy gravy and oyster stuffing Somebody always has to give their two cents on some terrible variation of a holiday classic. “I prefer raisins in my stuffing.” “I like a more lumpy gravy.” “I hate marshmallows in my sweet potatoes.” Here’s our advice; stay at home and eat whatever the fuck you want. Eat your oyster raisin stuffing to your little heart’s content. There are obviously several variations on everything you’ll be eating. That doesn’t give you the right to speak. Please go back to the kid’s table and don’t complain that you are the only person sitting there. 

1. What is everyone thankful for this year? 

Now for some links...

Barry Bonds got some relief from a Federal Judge... by relief I mean he is still looking at 50+ years.Hey remember the Mitchell Report... no... that is exactly what Baseball wants. Well it has been a year so what have we forgotten about?
Amateur cock toucher/Professional Football toucher Brady Quinn is out for the season... not as exciting as when another Brady when out for the season but it does make me happy that I can post this picture.
The only Detroit Lion tradition longer than being a supremely crappy and losing football team…losing on ThanksgivingSeriously? Enough of this equal rights crap. You have a softball team. Enjoy. If the guys wanted to try out for the softball team would anybody fight to help them out? No. Now get back in the kitchen and shut your bitch mouth!
For Cap... Is Jennifer Walcott now offically a MILF?The top ten hottest triplets of all time...

This is for Max Power... I now present Hal McRae everybody!



Why do we play?



Who are the Bears?



Did someone say playoffs?



Practice... not the game... we talking about Practice.



So who do we got pitching tonight?



I'm not sure how I did not see this until today but apparently the Phillies like getting hammered in the ass.

CSI's latest case: the missing hot chick

It seems like at any point in the day you can find a rerun of CSI, CSI: Miami, or CSI: NY on Spike or A&E. After watching each of these incarnations, I have one simple question...where are all the hot chicks? Sure they bring in the occasional hottie for each individual episode, but have you noticed the series regulars look like your average housewife. I watch TV to escape my everyday life...not to look at women who look the ones I see at the supermarket.

Just like some professional ballplayer's contracts have clauses to always keep them the highest paid outfielder (for example), I'm convinced something must be written into the female leads' contracts to prevent anyone hotter from becoming a regular.

CSI (the original) - Don't get me wrong, Marg Helgenberger portraying an ex-stripper turned forensic expert should be on anyone's cougar list as she recently turned 50 and is still getting it done. But is Jorja Fox and Louise Lombard really the best we can do for a show set in Las Vegas?

Solutions:
Elisha Cuthbert - Just use her character in The Girl Next Door as a jumping off point as she could portray an ex-porn star turned crime scene investigator.
Vanessa Marcil - Since her Las Vegas show was cancelled, they could just use her same character and cross her over to the CSI lab.

CSI: Miami - - First and foremost, this show is virtually unwatchable thanks to David Caruso's ridiculous acting. That being said...Emily Proctor and Eva La Rue are both mighty attractive in a marrying kind of way, but it's South Beach for god's sake. I want skimpy outfits and breasts worthy of skimpy outfits. La Rue has tremendous upside potential but they need to stop dressing her in floral prints with a lot less actual clothing.

Solutions:
Lacey Chabet - Who doesn't want to see those ta-tas stuffed into a bikini?

Gabrielle Union - Rumored to be Dwyane Wade's latest squeeze, how could she not be perfect for the Miami setting?

CSI: New York - - Of the three shows, this one has the biggest "out". It's New York and not the hottie hotbeds of Vegas or Miami. But that being said, it has the worst cast...Melina Kanakaredes is trying to carry the torch but the real downfall is Anna Belknap. They added her after the show's first season and this was the best they could do? She may be a competent actress, but I want eye candy solving crimes.

Solutions:
Alyssa Milano - New York is the perfect setting for this Brooklyn-born actress.

Sofia Vergara - NY has a 17% hispanic population and I think it's about time we have some representation with this Colombian-born beauty.

Please take the time to comment and thanks for coming and suckling on Daddy's Sugar Ball.

My new Sunday ritual

After much anticipation, a new sports bar has planted its flag on the West Shore at the site of the former Dorado in Camp Hill. Arooga's15 opened on Wednesday to the delight of many who have been clamoring for a quality sports bar on the west side of the river, and the Arooga's team has thrown down the gauntlet. Let this be the GOLD STANDARD of midstate sports bars. At a business lunch today, the place was packed and I was very impressed by the layout and "feel" of the operation. Aroogas15 proudly boasts of more than 100 HDTVs placed throughout the bar and dining room areas. From my seat in the dining room, I could see no less than 31 flat screens WITHOUT MOVING MY HEAD. It's like Vizio vomited in the place, and it is awesome. I already reserved my table for March Madness.

The owner told me that you can see multiple TVs from any seat in the house and that they have 20 beers on tap, about half of which are imports and craft beers, as well as an Arooga's Amber Ale made by Sam Adams, and an Arooga's Lite made by Budweiser. I spotted Rogue Dead Guy Ale lined up in formation among the tap handles, which made me happy.

Known for their wings, Arooga's has an extensive menu. I, of course, opted for the 10-piece boneless wings ($7.49) over fries in Louisiana Garlic sauce. Patrons can choose their intensity levels of wing sauces, from mild/medium/hot/sudden death. I went with the hot, which was not bad, but I think I have to up the ante to sudden death next time ... which will be on Sunday ... for seven hours of NFL football.

Things that pissed me off this week

Field of Feces
Betcha didn't know that former Major League centerfielder Brett Butler (not to be confused with this Brett Butler) wrote a book. No, really! In 1997 Butler expelled the autobiographical Field of Hope, presumably from his bowels. Well, "wrote" is a strong word to use when the book in question is a collaboration with prolific author Jerry B. Jenkins, but I digress. The point is that I read Field of Hope this week and couldn't stand it. Butler smears his smug and condescending attitude across the pages from beginning to end. Here's the general synopsis for those of you who enjoy Cliff's Notes: nothing is ever Butler's fault. Ever. Accountability is not his bag. Oh, and God loves Brett Butler because Brett Butler has grit. That point is hammered home repeatedly. In Field of Hope, Butler blames his short stature for not being taken seriously as a ballplayer and therefore attacks anyone who doesn't think he's greater than sliced bread (he's not). Butler wastes no time throwing his Napoleonic weight around whenever he doesn't get his way. He blames his baseball coach for not getting enough playing time high school ... he whines when Hall-of-Famer Rickey Henderson gets a bigger contract than he does ... he throws a hissy fit when he's hitting .214 as a 38-year old outfielder and his coach benches him for a couple of games. Butler tries to rationalize that he needs 500 at-bats to produce, but what he doesn't realize is that the law of averages will allow most ballplayers to produce over 500 at-bats. What an asshole.

If you've ever thought about picking up a copy at your local library's $1 book sale, save your buck unless you're a holy-roller and you're into that shit.

Barbaro finished in fifth-place
One of the functions of the Baseball Writers Association of America (BBWAA) is to determine Major League Baseball's postseason awards. Founded in 1908, the stuffy association takes great pains to protect its deserved image as utterly inept and dishearteningly confounding. For instance, the BBWAA handed out the NL Rookie of the Year hardware earlier this week to catcher Geovany Soto of the Chicago Cubs, who received a deserving 31-out-of-32 first-place votes. Cincinnati Reds pitcher Edinson Volquez finished a measly fourth in the balloting, receiving just three second-place votes for a year in which he went 17-6 with a 3.21 ERA and 206 Ks in 196 innings. So why, do you ask, no respect for Volquez' great year? Good question and surprisingly (to the BBWAA) the answer is that Volquez is not a rookie. Volquez has been pitching in the big leagues since 2005 and cracked the 50-inning threshold for rookie consideration back in 2007 while with the Texas Rangers. Morons. And in case you're wondering who should have their voting rights revoked, the voters are Jeremy Cothran of the Newark Star-Ledger, the Los Angeles Daily News' John Kilma and the North County Times' Jay Paris.

Your Thursday links ... endorsed by six of the seven deadly sins

Before we get to the links a quick note about tonight’s Steelers vs. Bengals game ... Cincy is currently 1-8-1 after nine games. 1-8-1 should be a sexual position ... kind of like finger-cuffs. Couple that with the fact that 11 Bungles are inactive for tonight’s game (Ocho-Stinko being one of them for violating an undisclosed team rule), and I think the Steelers are going to go 1-8-1 on the Bengals tonight. Unpronounceable Bengal Chinedum Ndukwe, who vowed revenge on Hines Ward for his jaw-breaking hit on Keith Rivers, is also going to miss Thursday's game with a foot injury. That is too bad I was hoping to see Ward break something of his too. It will be interesting to see how many Bengals Marvin Lewis can actually get to show up for tonight’s game.

Dick LeBeau will have his defense blitz Ryan "Harvard Graduate"Fitzpatrick (legal name) until Fitz actually bleeds Crimson. This will be a blow out … can you really blame Carson Palmer for not wanting to play tonight?
As far as a guess as to what team rule Ocho-Stinko violated, I am going with: he was seen “making it rain” in Vegas with Javon Walker, Chris Henry and a dozen high school-aged girls … just a thought.

And now the links ...
With word that a Tyler at UNC has broken his wrist and is out for the season, you can hear thousands of hearts skip a beat

For you Central PA wrestling fans (both of whom could careless about this site): a Deadspin.com story about York College wrestlers and herpes.

Pacman Jones is Back-Man Jones ... I can't help myself. I have to believe that Jerry Jones went to the NFL Commish's office and laid the wood on this one. "Mr. Goodell, I did not pay this guy millions of dollars just so you could suspend him. By the way in case you forgot, you work for me and I have a hot tub in my bedroom shaped like Dallas Stadium. That's right."

This is not going to help soccer's image in America ... it hasn’t really helped Mike Singletary.

The headline is all you need. Man cuts off own head with chainsaw.

Five lamest forwards and why your mom loves them.

Inmate gets $300,000 for lost genitals.

Is ESPN just too big? Now with them getting a hold of the BCS bowl games, what don't they have other than hockey (and we can see what that has done for hockey)? This is not good for sports; getting your news, even sports news, from one source is not good.

If you have ever gambled on sports for any length of time, there is one thought that every gambler has at some point or another - "this stuff is fixed." There is no doubt that if you gamble on sports you think it has to be fixed. After last weeks Steelers game there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that football is the same as blackjack. Simply put, "the house always wins."

From WhodeyRevolution.com some quick Bengals facts... enjoy the game tonight.

• 17 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game
• 0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner
• .348 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (97-181 in 17 seasons)
• 15-23 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers
  6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.
• 0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility
• 10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006
• 32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007
• 458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS
• 2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal
• 3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league
• 747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona
• 118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.
• 97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

Please take the time to comment and thanks for coming and suckling on Daddy's Sugar Ball.
Bearcat

I want answers ...

Earlier this week I heaped tons of praise on Anne Hathaway. It was her birthday and frankly I am a little more than smitten with her. She is great. While I was wrestling with the idea of adding pictures from either of her best scenes (i.e. Havoc or Brokeback Mountain; they are great scenes). I was wondering once again why don't we have any decent pictures of Alessandra Ambrosio? You know Alessandra - the smoking hot Victoria's Secret supermodel. Yeah. She's pretty much perfect. But for a woman who makes a living taking off her clothes in front of the camera, the internet is severely lacking any decent pictures. This is the best I could find.
Now that is great stuff [Ed. note: I concur.]. But come on - this is the 21st century, the age of TMZ.com and every Hollywood tramp (i.e. Britney, Paris and Lindsay) having flashed their respective uterus outside of nightclubs and broadcast across the net. How can there be no decent spankbank pictures of this woman? Why has she remained so elusive? There is not some jilted ex-boyfriend with pictures or video of her? Come on! This is my unicorn ... my white whale. In Full Metal Jacket Matthew Modine's Pvt. Joker is instructed by his Army newspaper editor to photograph a movie star coming to entertain the troops at a USO show: "I want lots of low angles. I want to see morning dew, you understand?" And now I say to you slimy paparazzi:"I want lots of low angles. I want to see morning dew." Break into the Victoria's Secret backstage dressing room. Follow this woman to the ends of the Earth. I don't ask for much.

Now for a quick movie review... I went to see the new James Bond movie Quantum of Solac, yesterday. Before you read my thoughts a I have to be honest and tell you I am a HUGE [Ed. note: spiritually and physically] James Bond fan. When I was young, I read many of Ian Fleming's books and while most kids were wanting to grow up to be a doctor or lawyer, I was wondering how I could join MI6 as an American. This depressed me greatly. Now I am a civil servant and I need a martini.

Moving on ... so I did something I rarely do. I saw a movie on opening weekend. I rarely do that and I can count on one hand the number of times I have done this over the pastfive 5 years. Casino Royale, Transformers, The Departed and now, Quantum of Solace. The reviews of this latest Bond film have been less than great. Mostly in the two to two-and-one-half star range from what I have read. They are seriously missing the point. This Bond is not an action hero. The pace of these movies is more deliberate. Bond is actually mortal. The villains are not superhuman but simply dictators and finance geeks. This is a 21st century spy movie. It has twists and turns, the action is quick and detailed but not bent on rockets fired from a BMW or Aston Martin. Someone once said that "There is nothing new about car chases, just new ways to shoot them." That is true and the opening scene is fantastic for just that. Keep in mind while watching it they wrecked 14 Aston Martin DBSs and one stunt driver died filming it.
Daniel Craig is awesome. I spent most the movie wondering how this film was made without killing him. The stunts are impressive and he obviously did many of them. Judy Dench is awesome as M and we get a peek at why her code name might be 'M,' which had me nearly jumping out of my seat. Jeffery Wright returns as 'Felix', Bonds' CIA counterpart. Throughout the movie, the whole theme is confliction. The characters are conflicted about who to trust, who is right, what is the right thing to do. Everyone but Bond, and yes, he is pissed about it and everything else. But he is right and that is why he is the hero. He is not conflicted. While his moral compass might not aways point to true north, he understands what his duty is. Some critics have called for Bond to take anger management classes (I am looking in your direction, Entertainment Weekly) but they must not have stayed for the last ten minutes of the movie. This is a character study in a sense. With Craig signed on to do at least two more Bond movies in the coming years (something a $70 million dollar opening weekend, a franchise record, can ensure) I think we will see an evolving Bond and it would be nice to see Bond as more than Tuxedos and Martinis.

This movie is well-written, the Bond babes are hot, the pace of the movie is great and the scenes are fantastically-shot. The characters are deeper than they have ever been in any Bond movie since From Russian with Love and gives the movie-goer his/her monies' worth. Bearcat gives this movie four-and-a-half out of five sugar balls. So go see it.

Now for video and links.

This one come from ClayTravis.net and shows what girls are doing when they got to the bathroom together at the football game.



Her screaming as she runs down the bathroom and the sound of the door getting crushed kills me. And thanks to this being the 21st-century and thanks to Deadspin.com, we know her name (Leah Logue) and have her facebook page (update the page appears to have been erased). We have this but we don't have decent pictures of a Victoria Secret Model!!!

The Dodgers have raised the price of their most expensive spring training game tickets to $90. Last year they were $20. Couple this with the fact that they now only let the kids in the expensive seats clamor for autographs during batting practice and it makes me want to hate this franchise. Guess they need to get that money for Manny from somewhere but damn, $90 for spring training. 90 bucks for split-squad ball. Please Cap, tell your team to go fix itself.

This is what being a coach in college athletics is about.

The Rooneys are going to keep control of the NFL's greatest francise ...

For the first time in nearly 25 years, we may have a significant change in how we interact with computers ... it looks like the computer from Minority Report and I totally want one.




That's it for now ... thanks for coming and suckling Daddy's Sugar Ball.

Bearcat

Music you should be listening to

Amanda Palmer - Who Killed Amanda Palmer?

Palmer (the female half of the Dresden Dolls) has accomplished something striking on her first solo disc. She has married the punk cabaret sound of the Dolls to the more mainstream sound of producer Ben Folds. The results are remarkable.

At a time when female singer-songwriters who play piano are getting airplay (think Sara Bareilles, Ingrid Michaelson), this disc will go unjustifiably ignored by the radio and music television powers that be.

If you have a sister/niece/daughter between the ages of 14 and 20, this should be a necessary item on your holiday buying list.

Songs to download: Ampersand, Astronaut, Runs in the Family

Check out Amanda Palmer if you like: 1990s Liz Phair, Tori Amos


Vampire Weekend - "Ottoman"

Vampire Weekend burst onto the scene in the last year and became everyone's darling. And while I like a lot of the songs off their self-titled debut, I was never ready to suck their collective lollipops like everyone else seemed to be and anoint them the “next great thing”.

This song, however, is from the Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist soundtrack and displays a new direction. I find this song to be much more accessible than anything previous. Gone are the Paul Simon-like African rhythms or Talking Heads-like reggae beats and instead this song is full of strings driving the tempo and lead singer Ezra Koenig dipping into falsetto. The one thing that remains though is a borrowed line from their own “Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa” namedropping Peter Gabriel.


Hotel Lights - Firecracker People

I was lucky enough to get a ticket for the Ben Folds Five reunion concert this past September down in Chapel Hill, NC. Former BF5 drummer Darren Jessee opened the show as his latest incarnation, the group Hotel Lights. Their set intrigued me enough to purchase their latest album, Firecracker People, off of iTunes when I got home and it was one of my better impulse purchases of the year.

Jessee’s melodic, mellow pop-country songs are better suited to recordings (as opposed to a live setting in a large theatre). It was after repeated listenings though that I discovered the real magic in this disc - - Jessee’s aching vocals add to the emotional depth even beyond the heartbreaking lyrics of most of these songs.

Songs to download: Run Away Happy, Blue Always Find Me, Firecracker People

Check out Hotel Lights if you like: Elliott Smith, Ryan Adams, Bright Eyes (Conor Oberst)


The Eels - "Things the Grandchildren Should Know"

I recently caught the PBS documentary Parallel Worlds, Parallel Lives which features Mark Everett (or as his friends call him, E) of the Eels in an exploration about his late physicist father Hugh.

First of all, I wholeheartedly recommend the documentary…it is enthralling and most of that is due to E’s charismatic personality on his journey. Even if the science involved is above 99.9% of the viewers, it is E grasping for understanding of his father and his family that make this compelling viewing.

One of the Eels’ songs that they used in the show was “Things the Grandchildren Should Know” and it struck a chord with me. It’s a simple little song - - it’s just a basic strum with Dylanesque talking/singing. But written with surprising candor, E puts his whole life out there in 5 ½ minutes. So much so, that he used the title again in a recent autobiography.

I will be checking out most of the Eels’ catalog in the next couple of months, so don’t be surprised to see them in this feature again.

As always, please feel free to comment below and thanks for coming and suckling on Daddy’s Sugar Ball

Beer Review...Random Thoughts...Links

Today's beer review is for Murphy's Irish Stout... I have been a long time fan of Murphy's. Guinness is my favorite mainstream beer and Stouts are my favorite variety of beer so naturally I am a big fan of Irish Dry Stouts and Murphy's is an excellent example. This beer today was sampled from a 16 oz. widget can poured into a fat pint glass. It pours just like a Guinness with the beautiful cascading effect after a vigorous pour. It settles out with a rich black body with a red mahogany hue when held up to the light. This is topped with a light brown creamy thick head that stays with you for the entire pint. The taste has some faint chocolate traces with roasted grains and a coffee like finish. Not as chocolately or coffee like as Guinness can some can sometimes be; more malty. The beer is silky smooth thanks to the creamy head. This is a beer for when you decide "I want Guinness but I want to save 4 bucks on a case." or if you are in the mood to just try something different but at the same time familiar. Drink this beer while watching English Premier League Soccer or Rugby then go hooligan and punch some ass wipe wanker in the face for drinking his sissy Coors Light. If you are looking to try another Irish Dry Stout also check out Beamish. Another of Bearcat's highly rated beers.

Here are some thoughts I had that I thought needed to be shared here with you, DSB's loyal readers...

If Olive Garden really was like family, the chef would be crying in the kitchen, and the waiter would accuse your brother of being gay.

If I were Ladainian Tomlinson, I would wait until I got out of the locker room to eat my Campbell's soup.

Policy in Effect: Sheepskin boots are reserved for the women in snowy climates who need them. You look stupid walking around NYC on a 58 degree day in those.

People who make jokes about bulimia make me want to puke.

Is it just me or are does there seem to be a lot of hot chicks in anorexia treatment programs?

In public restrooms, I always give air fresheners the middle finger... just in case they're actually hidden cameras.

I don't trust a man who uses emoticons. I don't like being winked at by you or a smiley face representing you.

What's with all the hype around Lance Armstrong? It's not he's curing canc- What? He is? Oh

Now for some links...

Wondering what your favorite sports athletes are making? Thanks... USAToday!

Has MNF run its course? With last weeks game of 49ers vs. Cardinals followed by this weeks Brown at Bills you have to wonder who the hell sets up these games... oh yeah, its ESPN.

AskMen's top 99 women of 2009... they need your vote. If you don't vote who else is going to denigrate these women as mear sex objects. Its your duty.

Nine of Jame's Bond best sex puns

Fox cancels Mad TV ... Wait you mean to tell me that Mad TV spent 14 years on TV but they canceled Arrested Development after only 3 seasons? 14 seasons for Mad TV... they waited 12 seasons too long to cancel that POS. This makes me angry.

Speaking of cancellations... My Own Worst Enemy was It's Own Worst Rating Enemy. Christian Slater is now shopping a script for Young Guns 3 around town.

The six most unintentionally hysterical old school PSAs

16 Awesome Senior Portraits... If you fail to follow any of these links please don't let it be this one. It is that good.

Thanks for coming and suckling on Daddy's Sugar Ball. Please feel free to comment below or email at billybearcat@gmail.com

Bearcat

Hot babe and NFL Rookies

Today is Anne Hathaway’s Birthday...

Anne Hathaway is my number 1…Mrs. Bearcat is surprisingly ok with this... couple that with the fact that she has sat at the top of my standings for some time now and in tribute to this super hot Hollywood babe some great shots for you to enjoy…

Now for a quick rundown of the NFL Rookies through week 10 of the NFL season… I decided to do a run down after watching Matt Ryan over the past couple weeks look really impressive and after realizing so many Rookies are getting it done in their first year.

Matt Ryan (Falcons) – With Chris Johnson’s horrible day against the Bears, Matt Ryan is definitely the frontrunner for rookie of the year. Ryan is now 6-3 as a starter and had another great day against the Saints. Ryan completed 16 of 23 passes for nearly 250 yards and 2 touchdowns. That being said he is no Dan Marino… at least not yet. Ryan is seriously overshadowing another decent rookie on the Falcons Chevis Jackson who has one interception but had been pretty good at CB.

Glenn Dorsey (Chiefs) – Dorsey got his first career sack Sunday against Philip Rivers. Although some Chiefs fans expected more sacks out of Dorsey, he’s a defensive tackle and sacking the QB isn’t exactly what they drafted him for. In what is an impressively crappy season for the Chiefs this guy might be the brightest spot.

Joe Flacco (Ravens) – Flacco is now 6-3 as a starter and he’s not simply relying on the Ravens defense to win games. Flacco is playing extremely well as he went 15 for 23 for 185 yards and 2 touchdowns this past week. This is his second straight week with 2 touchdowns. While he’s been overshadowed a bit by Matt Ryan, Flacco is having a great year for a rookie QB. Of course the Ravens will destroy any hope of actually having a decent QB in the coming weeks because… well because they are the Ravens and they don’t have decent QBs.

Chris Johnson (Titans) – Chris Johnson finally rolled craps Sunday against the Bears. He had a paltry 8 yards on 14 carries but the Titans remain undefeated. Despite the poor performance, Johnson still leads all rookies in rushing yards. This guy has the benefit of having the best O-line in the NFL and getting tons of carries (on most Sundays) because the Titans like nothing better than to grind it out.

Dustin Keller (Jets) – Brett Favre had 167 passing yards Sunday and Keller had 107 of them. Keller had just 136 yards prior to playing the Rams. He has become a bigger target for the Jets in the past few weeks and is turning into a tight end to watch. I am picking him up in my Fantasy Football league right now… you might want to consider it as well.

Eddie Royal (Broncos) – Royal exploded on the scene early this season and after week one had people ready to call him Rookie of the Year. Since then he has been more quietly getting it done week in week out but… he had his best game of the season statistically on Thursday. Royal had 6 catches for 164 yards and leads all rookies in receptions and receiving yards. Of course on Sunday when he had 164 yards…I had him sitting on my bench. I will play him this week so expect him to get a sprained ankle… sorry Eddie.

Matt Forte (Bears) – On Sunday Forte was the Bears offense. I should know I played against him and every other NFL player who had a career day this past Sunday in Fantasy. Forte had 126 of the Bears 243 total yards including a 5-yard touchdown pass. Forte is now just 10 yards behind Chris Johnson for the lead in rookie rushing yards.

DeSean Jackson (Eagles) – The Eagles are making use of Jackson’s athleticism. He’s returning punts, has been McNabb’s number one receiver. In the first quarter Sunday they lined him up in shotgun as he took the snap and ran it in from 9 yards out, this time being sure not to get a case of premature ejaculation…err, celebration.

Kevin Smith (Lions) – On Sunday Smith just fell short of his first 100-yard rushing day, kind of like how the Lions fall short in every possible way. He had 96 yards on 23 carries for the woeful Lions. He scored his 5th touchdown which puts him tied for 2nd among rookie RB’s. I am putting the chances of a 0-16 season by the Lions at 60-40 right now. I would put it much, much higher but I have a feeling that the Lions (who always out perform on Thanksgiving) will be able to pull one out before the end of the season.

Tim Hightower (Cardinals) – Hightower had his first start last week and topped 100 yards for the first time this year. Well, his encore was not nearly as impressive. He rushed for just 22 yards on 13 carries but the Cardinals still won 29-24 over the 49ers. Hightower has eclipsed The Edge at this point and has shown that he can carry the load for The Buzzsaw. I am very high on this guy. He is my new Marshawn Lynch.

BenJarvus Green-Ellis and Associates; Law Firm LLC (Patriots) – Or The Firm as he should be called will be the hot waiver wire pickup in fantasy leagues if he’s still available. BenJarvus rushed for 105 yards on 26 carries and put the game against the Bills away with a 1-yard touchdown run in the 4th quarter. Green-Ellis now has a touchdown in four straight games. He gets another chance to impress tomorrow night on in front of a not quite national audience on a channel no one gets. Should be great.

Thanks for coming and suckling on Daddy's Sugar Ball. Please feel free to comment or to email me at billybearcat@gmail.com

Bearcat

Random Thoughts... now with 58% more video

For all you Penn State fans out there. Just keep this in mind regarding Saturday's extremely painful loss to Iowa. Pitt beat Iowa earlier this year. God that felt good to write that... I could go for a smoke.

Now on to the rest of today's post...

In the I can't believe this is not bigger news department... ABC dumped the Phoenix NASCAR Race to ESPN2 with 34 minutes left in the race. ABC switched from a "playoff" NASCAR event (i.e. The Chase for the Cup) to, get this, America's Funniest Home Videos. I did not even know that show was still on the air. Now I am not watching NASCAR. I would rather watch paint dry than watch cars make left hand turns for 500 miles (although the wrecks are cool). But it does offer some interesting lessons... 1. Is NASCAR a major sport? Definitively it is not. Can you imagine CBS switching to 60 Minutes during the 4th quarter of a regular season game let alone Wild Card Weekend? People would burn down their local CBS affliate. It would not be a riot as much as a reasonable response by an enlightened citizenship. Hell for the President to interupt an NFL playoff game I think at least 2 major cities would have to be nuked. It might help if one of those two was hosting a NFL playoff game so that I could immediately bet the under. 2. NASCAR must suck on TV. How much of a ratings bottom feeder must you be if by switching from a "playoff game" you only lose 18% of your viewers when you switch to America's Funniest Home Videos. Now I like watching a dog on a trampoline, a dad get hit in the nuts with a wiffle ball bat and kittens on fire as much as the next guy but this show fucking sucks the big one. You mean to tell me that AFHV pulls 82% of the the views that NASCAR does? ABC and ESPN have to be paying through the nose for the broadcasting rights to this steaming pile of red-neck sports shit. AFHV is free content sent in by red-necks with nothing better to do. What is the overhead cost of doing that show 30 bucks? 3. NASCAR might be dead. If you are getting interrupted with 34 minutes left in one of your biggest events of the year for a show Bob Saget left you are in trouble.

This has more of a chance of becoming a major sport than NASCAR is right now...



This video is great just for poking fun at clip-it...

You know you miss Mike Tyson...


Best part of this video for me was finding out that Mike Tyson was once a spokes person for Pepsi... wonder what the marketing guy who thought that up is doing now. I am going to guess garbage man.

Now for a couple links...

The Five Most Terrible Sports Video Games of all time... number five blew me away. To think that Kurt Warner former grocery store stock guy gave his name to a total piece of shit video game and is now considered by some to be a lock for the Hall of Fame just kills me.

Nuclear power in your back yard? Got 25 million?

Best Buy has created a gift card that is actually a little 3.5 mm jack speaker... It is still a lazy gift idea. Target does Best Buy one better and goes digital camera.

One last video today...


Check back tomorrow as November 12 is a very important birthday and we will have a great posting for all you guys.

Thanks for checking out the site and suckling Daddy's Sugar Ball

Bearcat

Things that pissed me off this week

Please Don't Forget to Recycle!
Twice this past week I happened to catch Rome is Burning, and I can't say that I completely hate Jim Rome's narcissistic self-reacharounds. It's actually fun sometimes. Hey, we can all agree that our little Jimmy is clearly a C-list celeb in the ESPN pecking-order, as evidenced by a few of his guests this week, but I think we can also agree that he is either a.) severely misguided concerning his own importance, or b.) mailing it in. The first guest I happened to catch was Josh Hamilton and by now, we all know his story, right? First overall pick, drugs, drugs, drugs (five more suspensions due to drugs, salvation, yada, yada, yada), All-Star. Nevertheless, Jim's first direction to Josh was to "tell us about your past." Now, Josh has a book coming out this week, but still ... can't Jimmy even try? Make an effort for me.

The next day's guest was Warrick Dunn. And ... we all know Warrick's tale. But Jimmy immediately went to the standard, stale opening of "Warrick, take us back to that day ..." when Warrick's mother was shot and killed. No offense to Warrick Dunn, his family or his contributions to the community, but I've heard Warrick's story at least a dozen times in the last twelve years. I remember first hearing about Warrick's mom when I was in college in the early-nineties. For a news show, no new ground was covered. This is recycled news. Jimmy, this isn't ESPN Classic, for chrissakes.

Better Late than Never!
I've heard two major complaints about the World Series. Those are a.) it starts too late and b.) the ratings drop every year. Has anyone considered that the reason for the historically-low World Series Nielsen ratings is because of the extremely late start times? It's no secret that Fox determines the start times, yet complains when the ratings are too low ... umm, that's called a causal relationship, Fox. For instance, Game 3 began at 10:06pm ET. How the fuck am I supposed to stay up until 10:06pm for the first pitch? And then you're going to complain that I wasn't tuned in at 1:30am for the ninth inning? Fuck you, Fox.

For the Love of God, Why?
Everyone hates the Fox robot. Everyone. Despite his technically-advanced visage, this insanely-stupid graphic even has a name to keep the redneck demographic tuned in ... and his name is Cletus. But my question is, why the hell is Cletus doing push-ups and jumping rope during the intros?!? Why? I don't get it. I give up.

Good Riddance

Tonight is one of those nights that remind me I’m getting older…tonight is my 20th High School Class Reunion. But I won't be hearing Green Day's "Time of Your Life" over a montage of old photos.

I haven’t attended any of the previous reunions and I have no intention of going tonight or ever. For the rest of my life I will ignore the mailings and phone calls every five years. That’s actually not true; I’ve somehow successfully threatened the powers that be to remove me from the contact list as if I’ve never existed. It’s only a matter of time though until my mother (who still resides in the town) gives my contact information away to someone.

Why is this year any different? My best friend (and former class president and valedictorian) has finally broken down and agreed to go this time. Out of a class of roughly 160 other students, he’s the one person I’ve wanted to and stayed in contact with all these years. Quite frankly, I can’t believe he’s going but he was always the pragmatic one. Last I knew a paltry 28 alumni were going to be attending and for his sake, I hope he has a good time…but it’s going to be without me.

As far as I’m concerned, the KAHS Class of 1988 can go to hell.

Mid-season football ramblings

Here at Daddy’s Sugar Ball we take our football very seriously … so at the mid-point of the NFL season I wanted to take a few moments to share some rambling thoughts with our readership.

Coach of the Year
With the resurgence of many bottom-feeders from a year ago, the list of viable winners is pretty long. John Harbaugh (Baltimore) and Tony Sparano (Miami) just missed my top five, but both deserve consideration pending the second-half of the season.
5. Jeff Fisher (Tennessee) – It seems every button that he’s pushed this year was right on. I wouldn’t be surprised if Jerry Jones fires Wade Phillips after the season and goes Ron Jeremy-hard after Fisher.
4. Mike Tomlin (Pittsburgh) – The Steelers look like the triage unit at the 4077th (by the way, Hawkeye’s dog tags and boots are now available for that someone special in your life) … yet every week they personify their head coach and leave everything they have out on the field. If it wasn’t for an anemic O-line performance in Philly and a fill-in long snapper sculling a wedge shot over the punter against the Giants, they would be undefeated. How Tomlin finds the time while co-starring on House is beyond me.
3. Tom Coughlin (Giants) – One of the toughest things to do (and get recognition for) in sports is to win when it is expected. The bulls-eye has been on the G-Men since last Super Bowl and they have responded better than anyone could have hoped. Coughlin deserves credit for reevaluating his personality and relationships and appears to have begun a late-career renaissance.
2. Mike Smith (Atlanta) – Like Amy Winehouse sizing up a big weekend, Atlanta’s 2007 season was in shambles before it even started thanks to Ron Mexico. Then it got worse (just like Winehouse) when Bobby Petrino acted like he hit the whiffle-ball into the tree and asked for a do-over. I thought the only thing owner Arthur Blank had going for him was his ability to work his creepy mustache, but it appears he actually made the right hire in Smith.
1. Lane Kiffin (formerly of Oakland) – He’s getting $2 million this year for going home and getting away from the second-worst situation in the NFL (sorry about that, Detroit). Yet his reputation doesn’t appear to be sullied at all as he’s regularly mentioned for the numerous open head coaching positions in college football. Rumor also has it that he was able to get away before owner Al Davis managed to sink his teeth into Kiffin’s neck. But the real reason that Kiffin is my #1 is that he pulled his finest Costanza-trying-to-get-fired-in-a-body-suit-dragging-the-championship-trophy moment when he sent Sebastian Janikowski out to attempt a 76-yard FG.

Trivia Question (keep reading for the answer)
Name the top two quarterbacks with the highest career completion rate (through the 2007 season with a minimum 1500 attempts).

Must we really hand out an MVP Award this year?
Unlike in baseball where playing for a playoff team seems to be a prerequisite for consideration, perusing the list of past MVPs clearly shows a preference in awarding for the best statistical seasons. However, there isn’t anyone who is putting up the kind of numbers that Tom Brady or LaDainian Tomlinson has the past couple of years. So where does that leave us this year? I honestly have no idea ... here's one man’s current opinion:
5. Joey Porter – He has backed up that huge mouth of his with a league-leading 11.5 sacks this year and given the Dolphins a much-needed attitude adjustment. Porter also happens to own my second favorite pet(s). It’s a distant second though to this guy’s.
4. Drew Brees – Brees is basically a one man show in the Big Easy this season throwing for a league-leading 2,563 yards to a no-name receiver corp. But I have two questions for Purdue Drew … exactly how much money must you make before you get that thing on your face surgically removed? And what the hell happened between your mother and you? You guys don’t even put the fun in dysfunctional.
3. Clinton Portis – Portis leads the league in rushing and I believe has made Jason Campbell and Jim Zorn look better than what they really are. However, Portis has clearly hurt his chances of grabbing my top spot by not bringing back Coach Janky Spanky, Dolemite Jenkins, or any of the others to his press conferences.
2. Kurt Warner – Keep reading below for more on God's favorite quarterback.
1. Dave Stewart, Jake Scott, Kevin Mawae, Eugene Amano, Michael Roos (Tennessee O-Line) - In a year when there is no clear-cut leader, thinking outside of the box may be the way to go. The Titans have allowed only three sacks in 8 games protecting a virtually statue-like Kerry Collins. And their running game has consisted of the solid 1-2 punch of Chris Johnson (715 yards and 5 TDs) and LenDale White (404 yards and a league-leading 10 TDs). This unit has also started all 8 games together and I believe is the key to the Titans undefeated season so far.

Where have you gone Lester Hayes? Our nation turns its lonely eyes to you ...
With most teams having played 8 games (and some 9), there are six players who are tied for the league lead with four interceptions. Four!?! The record for a single season is Dick “Night Train” Lane’s 14 in his 1952 rookie season. Did I mention 1952 was a 12-game season? At this rate it would take a 28-game schedule to equal the record.

How can this be the case in a league where the likes of Dan Orlovsky, Ryan Fitzpatrick, the corpse formerly-known as Brad Johnson, and Seneca Wallace all started last week? There’s an old saying that defensive backs are just frustrated wide receivers that can’t catch. Never has that been more apparent than this year.

Trivia Answer
The top two quarterbacks with the highest career completion rate are:
1. Chad Pennington 65.61%
2. Kurt Warner 65.09%

That's right ... the weak-armed Jets' castoff and the former supermarket-bagger are the two most accurate passers in the HISTORY OF THE NFL!!! And guess what? Both of these guys are moving those numbers up as this season goes on.

Warner has both held off Nick Lachey’s boyfriend as starter and guided The Buzzsaw to become the clear frontrunner in the NFC West. This two-time MVP is once again throwing his hat into the ring for consideration this year as the #2-rated QB in the league with 2,431 yards and a 69.9% completion rate. I’m sure this is all part of God’s master plan … or at least Warner would have you believe that.

Pennington has a 67.4% completion rate and is on pace to fall just 18 yards short of 4,000 yards. Pennington's previous best yardage output was 3,352 in 2006 when he won the Comeback Player of the Year. Hey Jets' fans - do you think your brain trust made the right choice? If you set aside Favre's career best six-TD game against the Arizona Cardinals, he has thrown nine touchdowns and 11 INTs. But no worries, during their recent bye week Mangini sat him down and told him he needs to take care of the ball better. I'm sure after an 18-year pro career and every announcer wanting to suck him off for "being a gunslinger," he'll change in time for your playoff push.

~ Max Power

Other than a future posting on the Rookie of the Year race, I’m done with football for awhile … look out for something new and completely different this weekend.

Thanks for coming and suckling Daddy’s Sugar Ball

Links and a Beer Review

As I pointed out in my Steelers vs. Redskins Running Diary I recently sampled Breckenridge Oatmeal Stout. My review of this fine beer appears today with what I hope to be two parts of my regular contributions. Links and Beer Reviews. First the beer:

I got this fine brew in standard brown 12 oz. bottles. It poured into the glass smoothly like a stout should; pitch black with a lightly tan head. The head was short and lacing on the glass was consistent through out the drink. Displayed a bubbliness that was unexpected given the very short head, so I might be guilty of a bad pour.

Lots of oatmeal and some coffee to the aroma. A tanginess that might be hops. Maybe it was going for well-balanced, it simply smells a wee bit off to me. I like my Stouts to be malty, that is just me.

Hints of dark chocolate and coffee to the taste to accompany a bevy of oats. Very noticeable roasted taste. My impression is of beer made from burnt oats, not so much roasted malts. Still had an excellent finish. This beer is highly drinkable. ABV is 4.7%

Lightly bodied, well-carbonated, and strongly recommended. Bearcat gives it 4 beer mugs out of 5.

On to the links...

In the spirit of Election Day... The six most insane people to run for President.

A Jogger ran a mile with a rabid fox locked on her arm.

Microsoft officially retired Window's 3.1 through 3.11 on November 1st... 2008. Yeah you read that right. Windows 3.1 was Microsoft first GUI (Graphical User Interface) software and pretty much made PCs what they are today. Hope you are ready to upgrade from that old IBM 386 machine... I remember looking at these for the first time and being blown away. Now I look at Vista and want to shoot Bill Gates. (Me: Wait, with Vista my computer is just sitting there turned on doing nothing but Vista is using 1.5 GB of RAM? Why? Microsoft sales guy: It is being ready for you to do something. This was an actual conversation)

Do you like bacon then you will love Baconnaise. FUCK YEAH!

The ten most expensive accidents of all time... Exxon Valdez is only number 6.

Steeler Country is everywhere... Just ask the Redskins

Jeter worst fielder in the the majors???

Now for your viewing pleasure...

Pittsburgh Penguins Stevens and Trottier Heckling Bellows

Thanks for visiting and suckling on Daddy's Sugar Ball.

Bearcat

If this isn't right up your alley, well then I don't know what is

A company called Bill Me Later is running a contest that they have dubbed Win-Your-Own Man Cave, in which the "Man Cave Jury" will award a prize-package worth up to $15,000 towards your very own entertainment room. To enter, all you have to do is write a short essay explaining why you are deserving of a dream Man Cave. The list of prizes looks awesome and includes large flat-screen tvs, The Ultimate Throne, a billiards ensemble, a keg-o-rator, a 14-ft. professional shuffleboard table, golf clubs, an Epic sound system, home gym equipment and much more. I highly recommend you check it out and remember me fondly if you win.

Thanks for coming and suckling Daddy's Sugar Ball.

Hey you on the sidelines, get your resume ready!

First of all ... welcome to Daddy's Sugar Ball! I hope you enjoy your time here and please let us know what you think in the comments.

Secondly, I am working on a mid-season review of the NFL season (which will be posted later in the week) but I wanted to share my thoughts today on a topic that I think could become pretty huge.

By the end of the NFL year, it is quite possible that there will be 13 out of a possible 32 head coaching positions open … that kind of turnover is rivaled only at places like Hardee’s (still deep frying ‘em) and Arby’s. And with this many possible openings after the season, it’s probably the best occupation for employment in this struggling economy.

Here’s a breakdown…

Current Interim Head Coaches

• Tom Cable (Oakland) – The "Cable Guy" is doing about as well at the helm as that movie’s box office receipts. One day after the sun has gone down, Al Davis will rise from his crypt and appoint some young coordinator desperate enough for a head coaching position.
• Jim Haslett (St. Louis) – The NFL struck down an agreement that he would be named the permanent head coach if he won 6 games the rest of the way. Even though he’s 1/3 of the way there, I think whoever in the Rams front office included this stipulation is a genius … I saw Jim Haslett in New Orleans and there’s no chance that this is attainable. Just because you’re better than Scott Linehan, does not make you a viable head coaching candidate.
• Mike Singletary (San Fran) – Let me see if I have this right … you’ve been passed over for numerous positions because decision-makers didn’t believe you were "ready" and at halftime of your very first game as head coach you choose to drop your pants to fire up your team. I only have one question – who had the worst view: those in front or those in back?
  

Planned Exits

• Mike Holmgren (Seattle) – Rumor has it he wants to take a year off and open a coffee shop or a winery or something else (let’s hope it isn’t a bed & breakfast). Rumor also has it that the 49ers will throw the kitchen sink at him to convince him to come there. Either way his tenure in the Pacific Northwest is done.
• Tony Dungy (Indy) – As much as the Colts have struggled this year (and they still have a chance to turn it around with a healthy Bob Sanders and Joseph Addai), I find it tough to believe that anyone would want to go out this way. But I truly believe Dungy is sincere about his intentions and motivations.

How Do These Guys Still Have a Job?

• Rod Marinelli (Detroit) – 10-30 career record and still taking pride in his players’ efforts. This is the NFL … effort means squat … wins and losses are where it’s at. At this point, maybe you should just hit up the Wendy’s drive thru with your assistant.
• Marvin Lewis (Cincy) – Wasn’t this man considered a defensive genius at one point? Cincy is allowing 331+ yards and 26.2 points a game and that’s playing in the offensively challenged AFC North. Things are ending so badly in Cincy for Lewis that I’m not even sure he can get a coordinator position for at least a couple of years.
• Herm Edwards (Chiefs) – Why do we play the game, Herm? I thought so…
  

Crumbling Under Expectations

• Romeo Crennel (Cleveland) – Let me get one thing straight, I dislike Bill Belichick. But the more I see Charlie Weis and Crennel-coached teams, the more I realize Belichick really might be a freakin’ genius in covering for their incompetence those years they were on his staff.
• Norv Turner (San Diego) – This is Norv’s third head coaching go-round. He deserves some recognition for getting someone (anyone) to hire him after his first attempt (let alone his second). Norv was once thought of as an offensive genius, but I guess that’s pretty easy when you have Troy Aikman, Emmitt Smith, and Michael Irvin running the plays you call. On a side note, who would have ever thought that all three of them would get high profile commentator gigs that none of them were in any way qualified for?
• Wade Phillips (Dallas) – This is also Wade’s third head coaching go-round. However, one of those was on an interim basis in Buffalo and this time he’s really just an assistant to Coach Jerry Jones these days. One quick question for Cowboys fans: who had more control over the team, Wade Phillips or Dave Campo? Also, maybe it’s just me - but should an NFL coach celebrate like he’s an 'O' away from winning on his bingo card every time something good happens during a game?
• Jack Del Rio (Jaguars) – The Jags came into this season as the "sexy" AFC pick for the Super Bowl. The Jags have lost that "sexy" tag about as fast as Eva Longoria after she got married to Tony Parker (seriously…have you seen her lately?) I know owner Wayne Weaver loves Del Rio but the farther this season goes in the crapper, the more someone will have to pay. Hey Jack - I would break out the motivational ax ASAP.
• Brad Childress (Vikings) – I actually think Childress made the right call in benching Tavaris Jackson for Gus Frerotte very early in the season. However, Frerotte isn’t the answer for a team that was many experts’ NFC pick for the Super Bowl this year. However, in a clustered division they still have eight games left to salvage their season and their head coach’s job.
  

The question for these teams is where they turn for their next head coach. Let’s look at the possible scenarios:

The Retread Coach
This only seems to work where the coach was unfairly fired from his previous position or prematurely stepped away from the game. For every Bill Cowher and Marty Schottenheimer that is available out there, there are tons of Steve Mariuccis and Denny Greens. If a head coach doesn’t have that fire in his belly, I’m not sure guaranteeing him a boatload of cash is going to stoke the flames.

The College Coach
The recent high profile failures of Nick Saban and Bobby Petrino make many a GM or owner forget about even worse colossal failures such as Lou Holtz or Steve Spurrier. Another glaring example is Pete Carroll. Widely considered one of the best current college coaches around, in the pros he was a mediocre 33-31 with the Patriots and Jets. Simply put, avoid the college coach like the crazy chick at the bar - - there’s a 1 in 1,000 chance that picking the college coach/crazy chick will be the right decision a year from now.

The Assistant Coach
In the current state of the NFL, hiring and promoting an intelligent assistant coach seems to be the way to go. It seems like lots of NFL teams are reaping the rewards in finding quality coaches already from within organizations (theirs or others). The head coaches from the AFC’s best 2 teams - Mike Tomlin in Pittsburgh and Jeff Fisher in Tennessee – were both defensive coordinators for a paltry one year before ascending to the top spot. Also, hiring from non-coordinator positions has become a noticeable trend over the last few years. Resurgent franchises in Baltimore and Miami have John Harbaugh (special teams) and Tony Sparano (offensive line) at the helm.

So what does it all mean? If I were Steve Spagnuolo, Mike Heimerdinger, Winston Moss, or any other talented assistant that could nail an interview I would make sure my resume is updated come mid-January.

Thanks for coming and suckling on Daddy’s Sugar Ball.

Running Diary: Steelers vs. Redskins

8:29 Welcome to the Steelers vs. Redskins running diary. Tonight's official beer is Breckenbridge Oatmeal Stout. This is an excellent beer. If you like oatmeal stouts then you can not go wrong with this one. As a preveiw to the game, I am going to say that Dick LeBeau (future hall of famer) and his defense will be the game-changing factor tonight and I am predicting a 20-16 win for the Steelers. I am also going to call Ben will take 4 sacks and throw the ball away for 1 INT. Anything more than this will mean the Steelers lose.

8:33 Apparently tomorrow is election day... kind of snuck right up on me. I have been watching ESPN for exactly 30 minutes and I am ready to hit the mute button. I will refrain from doing so for you my esteemed readers... err... reader. To answer Hank William Jr., I am ready for some football. I am ready, ok ... just please stop singing and making computerized helmets fly around on my TV.

8:34 Did you know that if the Redskins win then incumbent party loses ... yeah.

8:41 Onside kick by the Steelers to start the game... WTF? Why do you do that? Why do you need to do that? Needless to say this fired up the stadium and the Steelers' gamble did not pay off.

8:43 That gamble just cost the Steelers three points ... stupid. Redskins 3, Steelers 0. The only thing that is keeping me happy is the Redskins Cheerbabes ... best in the league. Thank you, Dan Snyder. If I were him I would personally select each cheerbabe for the team. It's good to be the owner.

8:47 Fast Willie Parker (official name) is starting tonight. If you are Mewelde Moore aren't you thinking, "Hey, I was carrying the load the last four weeks, why you starting Willie?" Of course, Ben gives up his first INT tonight off a defection ... shit. The 12 beers I have on ice will not be enough tonight. If this defense has to play the entire game on both a short field and against the Redskins O-line, they will be toast come the 4th quarter. The offense cannot continue to shit the bed and hope the defense can carry this team. It will not work.

8:51 Another short field ... another three-and-out by the Redskins and another three points on the board. 6-0, Skins ...

8:53 A crazed Redskin fan has a sign that reads, "Cooley 4 Prez." I can back that up ... although I don't think we should elect a president that posts pictures of his junk on the internet. Just saying.

8:59 Ben takes his first sack ... this is going to be ugly. And now ESPN is forcing me to listen to that goddamn "Saved by Zero" commercial by Toyota. I hate that song so much I am ready to light my wife's Toyota Corolla on fire ... how about some market research? If your ad is so annoying that you wish for the company's marketing team to burn in hell, then it is probably not effective.

9:07 Next week on MNF is the Cardinals at 49ers ... the Cardinals are up by three games in the NFC west ... they can still blow it, right? They will still blow it, right? ... they are the buzzsaw--they have to blow it. I think they will blow it.

9:09 Beer number three ... for me to get through Boomer interviewing McCain and Obama, I will probably need to be totally bombed. If the second half of this post really sucks, blame him. He is forcing me to drink. Santonio Holmes dropped another pass like a bag of weed out a car window ... this offense is pathetic. Pittsburgh's SpEd teams still look horrid. There are three parts to a football team ... defense, offense and special teams (or in the case of the Steelers--SpEd teams). The Steelers right now stink in two of those three parts.

9:15 Another short field from the Skins ... beer number four (thank you, Mrs. Bearcat).

9:21 Tony and Jaws are really pouring it on with Zorn ... they are practically blowing him. Tony asks Jaws if while he was QB in Philly, they threw bags at him during practice ... Jaws chuckles and says no ... right answer was that the fans "threw beer bottles at me on Sunday."

9:30 During this year's fantasy football draft, contributing editors of Daddy's Sugar Ball--Cap, Max Power and I discussed the drafting of Derek Anderson for a starting QB. I said at that time that Brady Quinn would start in week 10. I nailed that one. By the way ... you can't see that game because it will be shown on the NFL network this Thursday. Thanks NFL!

9:40 When you absolutely, positively, need a first down right now ... Hines Ward. The defense needed that third down conversion more than the offense needed it. The offense needs to work it down the field and give the defense a breath. Follow this by Large Benjamin taking a sack on the next third down ... bring out the kicking team for three ... 6-3, Skins.

9:50 This defense looks great ... the defense has held the Skins to 0-7 on third downs ... if the offense can get in gear, the Steelers can win this game. If they can't then the defense might be too tired by the fourth quarter to hold back a pretty good Skins offense ...

9:54 The Steelers long snapper was moving furniture this time last week ... are you kidding?

9:57 Steelers block the punt ... sweet! We need seven points on this one and what does Ben do on first down ... he takes a sack. Two-minute warning ...which means only two minutes until I have to put up with Chris Berman interviewing Obama and McCain ... Mrs. Bearcat has delivered beer number six. They are going down smooth. Check back on Daddy's Sugar Ball later for a review of Breckenbridge Oatmeal Stout. Sack on first down and now a hold on second ... how about if Mike Tomlin kills a man during halftime ...that might clear some heads.

10:03 Once again Hines Ward getting the ball to convert on third down. First and goal on the half yard line. I think this is where you bring back Mewelde Moore to drive it up the gut. Of course Tomlin stays with Parker. You must run the football here. QB sneak and the Steeler are up 10-6.

10:12 I am going to refrain from posting about the halftime interviews ... I am spent on this election. If you care, follow my election night Running Diary tomorrow on my politics blog, Pink Elephants on Parade.

10:24 Leftwich (DC native) to start the third quarter ... this should be interesting. If you are a Steeler fan, interesting is not good.

10:27 Nate Washington with a 50-yard catch ... I am officially changing his name to Nate "Big Play" Washington because that is all he does ... he makes big plays.

10:31 Parker touchdown ... 16-6 after the missed extra point. How do you miss that? Steelers SpEd teams never fail to disappoint. Beer number seven; best slow down or this post might end early.

10:43 On that series the Skins defense penetrated the Steeler offensive line like they were a drunk girl on prom night. U-G-L-Y ... but the Steelers are up by 10 with the best defense in the NFL ... wow, just saw a commerical for a new Mortal Kombat game ... Mortal Combat vs. DC Comic Universe. I wish I was making that up. Mike Tirico informed us for the 2,983 time tonight that Jim Zorn calls his own plays. Thanks ... in other news, Ryan Fitzpatrick played at Harvard, Farve is a gunslinger, when the Steelers play the Ravens it is a two chin-strap game, Jerome Bettis is from Detroit and water is wet.

10:50 Interception ... Steelers get the ball with 3:41 left in the third. Zorn calls his own play and challenges the ruling on the field that the Steelers have intercepted the ball. Zorn called that himself ... even though he has never been a coordinator on any level.

11:08 Holmes touchdown ... 23-6 ... wow. This game is over. If the trends mean anything, then McCain is picked according to the history of Redskins victories and losses picking Presidents.

11:27 This game is dragging on way too late at this point. The number of timeouts and the length makes these games impossible to watch. If the Steelers were not on tonight, I would be in bed already. Yeah I am getting old ... it sucks. Skins blow it on fourth-and-goal.

11:37 Seven sacks by the Steelers' defense. That is impressive. Jim Zorn got his jock handed to him by future hall-of-famer Dick LeBeau.

11:50 Game over. Steelers looked great in the second half. If you enjoyed this post feel free to check out my politics site ... Pink Elephants On Parade ... tomorrow will be a election day running diary.

Thanks for coming and suckling Daddy's Sugar Ball.

Bearcat