Your Thursday Links and video... Extra Large Thanksgiving Edition

First a quick look at the NFL Rookies that I can think of off the top of my head…If I forgot an import Rookie contributing right now just know that it took me 20 minutes to put this together... I am not doing serious research today. 
Matt Ryan (Falcons) – Atlanta’s Mark Bradley wrote an article Monday calling Ryan the best rookie QB ever. Have we forgotten about Big Ben and his 13-0 start 98 QB rating and taking the Steelers to the AFC Championship game already? This has me extremely pissed right now. 

Darren McFadden (Raiders) – It looks like the Raiders are working McFadden back into the offense. He returned last week after sitting out three weeks with turf toe but only had three carries. This week he had 10 carries for just 38 yards but contributed with 2 touchdowns. He should become a bigger part of the Raiders offense down the stretch due to the fact that the Raiders have no other offensive weapons… the black hole is really becoming just that a black hole. It will suck you in and crush you. 

Leodis McKelvin (Bills) – As a top 15 pick McKelvin was expected to challenge for a starting spot and work his way into the lineup while contributing in the return game. It took McKelvin awhile to break the starting lineup but he showed his potential against the Chiefs (in Arrowhead no less). McKelvin had his first and second career interceptions and returned one of those 64 yards for the touchdown that gave the Bills the lead for good. I have a soft spot of the Bills… is my bias showing? 

Joe Flacco (Ravens) – The most important stat is Flacco is 7-4 as a starter. He completed just 12 of his 26 pass attempts for 182 yards. But he had 2 touchdowns and more importantly no interceptions. His QB rating was slightly higher than that of McNabb and Kolb who combined for an 11. (at least it was not single digits.) Frankly I think I could muster at least a QB rating of 15. Christ the Eagles are in a bad spot… more on that later. 

Chris Johnson (Titans) – Maybe Chris Johnson is hitting the rookie wall. His last three games have been three of his worst. He managed 61 total yards against what is starting to look like a tough Jets defense but he does seem to be slowing down. Luckily for him the Titans face Detroit, Cleveland, and Houston in their next three games. Meaning… he should be ok and he is going to be straight money in Fantasy Football.

Dustin Keller (Jets) – Keller has come on strong the past three weeks. After very little production in his first eight games he has become a reliable target for Favre recently. He’s had at least 6 receptions in each of his last three games including 6 catches for 42 yards Sunday. He now leads rookie tight ends in receiving yards.

Matt Forte (Bears) – The Bears playoff hopes lie with Forte. Forte is on pace to trail only Walter Payton for most yards from scrimmage in Bears franchise history. He has quietly become the best and most consistent rookie running back in a very deep class. Forte had 20 carries for 132 yards and scored two of the Bears three touchdowns against the Rams. Of course after further review… it was against the Rams.

DeSean Jackson (Eagles) – Jackson leads all rookies in receiving yards. It didn’t matter whether it was McNabb throwing him the ball or Kevin Kolb it was nearly intercepted every time. On a team officially going Chernobyl right now this is your bright spot Philly.

Kevin Smith (Lions) – Poor Kevin Smith. He and Calvin Johnson seem to be the only salvageable spots in the car wreck that is your 2008 Detroit Lions. Smith had 86 yards on 16 carries as the hapless Lions fell to a GM like 0-11. Lions management is currently scheduling a hearing with Barney Frank’s committee to seek a bail out. Here is a tip don’t take the Lions private jet.

Harry Douglas (Falcons) – Everyone seems to be contributing for the Falcons. Douglas led the Falcons with 92 receiving yards and had a touchdown (including a 60+ yard punt return). Who knew having your star QB get throw in jail for dog fighting and having your coach defect during the season could be so great for this team.

Steve Slaton (Texans) – Slaton carried the load for the Texans against the Browns. He had 21 carries for 73 yards. The Texans are a fraud… don’t trust them. They will be lousy again next season.

Tim Hightower (Cardinals) – Hightower is back to pleasing fantasy owners but displeasing Cardinals’ fans. Hightower had 21 yards on 10 carries but got into the end zone twice. He is tied with Matt Forte among rookie running backs with 9 touchdowns.

Peyton Hillis (Broncos) – So I guess I was wrong about this guy. I thought for sure after his 116 receiving yards against the Dolphins that would be it. A one time fluke. But then he scores two touchdowns last week. But that had to be it right? He’s supposed to be a fullback. But he produced yet again this Sunday. Hillis had 74 rushing yards and scored the Broncos lone touchdown. He should have a tough time next week against the Jets but then faces the Chiefs the week after that. So basically forget I ever mentioned him…

Davone Bess (Dolphins) – Yeah that is his real name…that's all I got. 

Thoughts I had over the past week that I thought I would share... 

Nobody ever told me 7 Years In Tibet was shot in real time. 

So it turns out that VD is one of those things that CAN"T stay in Vegas. 

Sometimes I cry during sex, but it's usually from the mace. And sometimes I cry during sex because of all the onions. 

Kudos to the porn industry for not parodying children's show titles; What with opportunities like Whore-uh the Sexplorer and Tellyhumpies. Going that route would have been cheap and easy... The porn industry is neither cheap nor easy.

"Honey," she said, and then there was a decidedly *pregnant* pause... She finally resumed speaking again, saying, "I'm drunk." (heart attack avoided)

C'mon, is anybody out there actually ROFL? You're all liars.

Bible spoiler alert: He comes back at the end.

If I was John Connor and I had Summer Glau as my personal Terminator… I would order her to “do” me… I would.

A new addition to the Thursday links…Bearcat’s Not Quite Top Ten

This weeks Not Quite Top Ten... bull shit conversations you will be forced to have at the Thanksgiving table.

10 Typtophan -- YES...we did know that the chemical in turkey that makes us tired is call typtophan. We have this same fucking conversation every year. Can't we talk about a chemical like THC that makes us tired and is actually awesome or something?

9. Christmas ads are earlier this year. The money grubbing fucks in marketing firms would run Christmas ads all year long if they thought it would make you buy more knife sets and George Forman Grills. Who are you Andy Rooney find something new to bitch about.

6. Fried Turkey Accidents. Yeah I saw the video of the red neck who burned his house down after putting a frozen turkey into a tub of molten hot lard. I know this is a slow news cycle but if the local new programs do another expose about some dip shit who rendered his family homeless for the holidays because he is too retarded to know that a grease fire is fucking dangerous I might have to chuck my TV into a deep fryer.

5. The Economy stinks... no shit... can we please not rehash how your 401K has crashed and burned.  Suck it up asshole, I don't care if you lost five large on AIG.

3. Should we invite “Steve” to dinner? You have some poor schmuck friend who can’t afford to head back to his/her hometown for the holidays. He’s going to suck the entire time, but you know you’ll feel like a dick for not inviting him. You have to devise a scheme to not be friends with “Steve” by this time next year. 

2. Lumpy gravy and oyster stuffing Somebody always has to give their two cents on some terrible variation of a holiday classic. “I prefer raisins in my stuffing.” “I like a more lumpy gravy.” “I hate marshmallows in my sweet potatoes.” Here’s our advice; stay at home and eat whatever the fuck you want. Eat your oyster raisin stuffing to your little heart’s content. There are obviously several variations on everything you’ll be eating. That doesn’t give you the right to speak. Please go back to the kid’s table and don’t complain that you are the only person sitting there. 
1. What is everyone thankful for this year? 

Now for some links...

Barry Bonds got some relief from a Federal Judge... by relief I mean he is still looking at 50+ years.Hey remember the Mitchell Report... no... that is exactly what Baseball wants. Well it has been a year so what have we forgotten about?
Amateur cock toucher/Professional Football toucher Brady Quinn is out for the season... not as exciting as when another Brady when out for the season but it does make me happy that I can post this picture.
The only Detroit Lion tradition longer than being a supremely crappy and losing football team…losing on ThanksgivingSeriously? Enough of this equal rights crap. You have a softball team. Enjoy. If the guys wanted to try out for the softball team would anybody fight to help them out? No. Now get back in the kitchen and shut your bitch mouth!
For Cap... Is Jennifer Walcott now offically a MILF?The top ten hottest triplets of all time...

This is for Max Power... I now present Hal McRae everybody!

Why do we play?

Who are the Bears?

Did someone say playoffs?

Practice... not the game... we talking about Practice.

So who do we got pitching tonight?

I'm not sure how I did not see this until today but apparently the Phillies like getting hammered in the ass.

No comments:

Post a Comment