11.23.2008

CSI's latest case: the missing hot chick

It seems like at any point in the day you can find a rerun of CSI, CSI: Miami, or CSI: NY on Spike or A&E. After watching each of these incarnations, I have one simple question...where are all the hot chicks? Sure they bring in the occasional hottie for each individual episode, but have you noticed the series regulars look like your average housewife. I watch TV to escape my everyday life...not to look at women who look the ones I see at the supermarket.

Just like some professional ballplayer's contracts have clauses to always keep them the highest paid outfielder (for example), I'm convinced something must be written into the female leads' contracts to prevent anyone hotter from becoming a regular.

CSI (the original) - Don't get me wrong, Marg Helgenberger portraying an ex-stripper turned forensic expert should be on anyone's cougar list as she recently turned 50 and is still getting it done. But is Jorja Fox and Louise Lombard really the best we can do for a show set in Las Vegas?

Solutions:
Elisha Cuthbert - Just use her character in The Girl Next Door as a jumping off point as she could portray an ex-porn star turned crime scene investigator.
Vanessa Marcil - Since her Las Vegas show was cancelled, they could just use her same character and cross her over to the CSI lab.


CSI: Miami - - First and foremost, this show is virtually unwatchable thanks to David Caruso's ridiculous acting. That being said...Emily Proctor and Eva La Rue are both mighty attractive in a marrying kind of way, but it's South Beach for god's sake. I want skimpy outfits and breasts worthy of skimpy outfits. La Rue has tremendous upside potential but they need to stop dressing her in floral prints with a lot less actual clothing.

Solutions:
Lacey Chabet - Who doesn't want to see those ta-tas stuffed into a bikini?


Gabrielle Union - Rumored to be Dwyane Wade's latest squeeze, how could she not be perfect for the Miami setting?


CSI: New York - - Of the three shows, this one has the biggest "out". It's New York and not the hottie hotbeds of Vegas or Miami. But that being said, it has the worst cast...Melina Kanakaredes is trying to carry the torch but the real downfall is Anna Belknap. They added her after the show's first season and this was the best they could do? She may be a competent actress, but I want eye candy solving crimes.

Solutions:
Alyssa Milano - New York is the perfect setting for this Brooklyn-born actress.

Sofia Vergara - NY has a 17% hispanic population and I think it's about time we have some representation with this Colombian-born beauty.

Please take the time to comment and thanks for coming and suckling on Daddy's Sugar Ball.

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