Happy New Year...

I am a Pitt fan... I make no bones about who I root for in sports... if it is a Pittsburgh sports team I am in. But Pitt Football, throughout my life has been a really tough one to get behind. They are just always spinning their wheels... even in the Johnny Majors years it was never enough for Pittsburgh sports fans. So what is my alternative? Penn State? Pitts' most hated rival (that we never play). Now that I live in the mid-state no thank you; there are enough of JoePa's jock sniffers out here already... so I suffer with Pitt. Besides you don't just start rooting for another team because your team is lousy. That's for girls and people from Boston (you know it's right). On the bright side Pitt has earned (via a crappy regular season record) the opportunity this year to disappoint in front of the entire nation in the Brut Essence of Man Sun Bowl (people still use that shitty toilet water cologne?) So here are a couple of thoughts about Pitt and the game not a real running diary...I know. I'm lazy.

First this is our head coach...

Inspiring right?

I am not a Penn State fan as noted above but wouldn't you rather have this guy calling the shots?

Hey USC can you hear this? No? Maybe I should turn it up for you...

CBS is trying to sell this POS game as a defensive struggle... trying to fuck a virgin who forgot to take out her tampon is a defensive struggle this is a offensive struggle. They are terrible... I would commence drinking but I am as sick as a dog.

Verne Lundquist just said "Wannstedt told me that he gave it to Ricky Williams 14 straight times and is not afraid to do it again to LeSean McCoy." See blogging is easy.

Pitt lost 3-0... hope you bet the under.

After the game they gave a best lineman award to a Pitt player (Greg Romeos). They had to wait for him to run out of the tunnel to accept. It looked more like they were rubbing salt into his wounds than giving an award. Why not just mail the trophey to him?

The Oregon State head coach can't lift the trophy over his head... what a pussy.

Not much else to say, that game fucking sucked even if you are an Beaver fan (and hey who isn't) that game sucked.

Happy New Year and thanks for suckling on Daddy's Sugar Ball. See you in the New Year!

Bearcat

Betting on Week 17 and Coal for Christmas

Betting on the last week of the NFL season is completely insane. You have no idea which players are going to play and which will be watching from the sidelines in an extremely oversized coat. We can expect to see appearances this week from NFL stars and non-stars of past and future such as David Carr, Vince Young, Jim Sorgi, Ryan Fitzpatrick, Kyle Orton, and Tavaris “Fumbles” Jackson. The sad part is some of those quarterbacks have been playing multiple games this season, and (God help us) one might play in the playoffs. Hopefully at the expense of the Patriots sitting at home after going 11-5…
Home team in CAPS

BUCCANEERS (-13) over Raiders
Pirate Fight! I betting Chucky uses the motivation of a playoff berth and sticking it to his former employer to blow out the Raiders. I look at it this way…if the Lions were not going for 0-16 and if the Brown, Cinci and KC were not so terrible… we would be talking about how the Raiders over the past couple years may be approaching Buzzsaw status.

PACKERS (-9.5) over Lions
You’d think the Lions might come out with some pride and try to not be the first team to go 0-16, but this posting is about betting money on football not pride. Last weekend playing the Saints the Lions looked like a football team only while exiting the locker room. After that they looked like a Jersey girl with those really long fake nails trying not to break one while opening a can of beer. It would have been comical if it were not so fucking pathetic.

Cowboys (+1.5) over EAGLES
I am trying to figure out who will look more ridiculous in those NFL issued puffy coats. I am going to go with Wade Phillips. I wish I could bet on that. BTW-the Cowboys getting a point and a half seems insane after seeing the Eagles shit the bed against the Redskins last week. Take the points and thank me later.

VIKINGS (-7) over Giants
Don’t expect to see any Giants you know playing this one. Also, don’t expect to see any talented Vikings quarterbacks.

TEXANS (-2.5) over Bears
The Bears will probably find a way to win against what I think is a better team. Do not bet on this game… Also even if the Bears win they are not making the playoffs.

Panthers (-3) over SAINTS
The Panthers are not going to somehow miss out on the division crown after being just a missed field goal away from the #1 overall seed. On the plus side if they don’t win this game and have to play in the first round they will beat the Cardinals by roughly 40 points in the first round of the playoffs and then can beat the Giants in New York in the revenge game.

FALCONS (-14) over Rams
Think Mike Vick is happy the Falcons are doing so well? My guess is that he will not be watching this game from his Fed provided rape stand. (That reminds me; I need to send a thank you card to Vick for introducing the term rape stand into my life.)

BENGALS (-3) over Chiefs”We play to win the game!” …unless my head is on the chopping block. If you bet on this game you are saying I will bet any. I need the action.

RAVENS (-12) over Jaguars
I’m really glad that I am not a Jacksonville offensive player this week. With the playoffs still on the line, the Ravens defense is going to do everything short of having actual sex with them. The over/under on number of on field felonies performed by the Ravens defense this week's game is six and a half. (Bet the over)

COLTS (+3) over Titans
Neither of these teams have anything to play for...that being said I think the Colts have learned in the past that shutting it down at the end of the season does not help and they are on a roll… they want to keep that up.

STEELERS (-10.5) over Browns
Holy shit the Browns went south fast… The Steelers could rest their top 42 players, play the remaining 11 both-ways, and still win this game and cover.

Dolphins (+3) over JETS
Karma has to be on the side of Chad Pennington. I like betting with Karma… money line for seeing Brett Farve’s retirement crocodile tears… 100/10.

Patriots (-6.5) over BILLS
Going 11-5 and missing the playoffs has to have Beli-cheat (not known for being a gracious loser) ready to beat other peoples two timing wives. I am very excited to see the Boston area melt down and scream for Goodell to fix the playoff system. I want Bob Ryan’s head to explode. I want Bill Simmons to blame the Steelers and their “dirty hit” on Welker. I wish I could bet on the number of over turned cars in Boston Common this Sunday night. It is impossible for me to tell you how happy this result will make me. I will gloat about this for years. I plan to tell my grandchildren that there is a just God in heaven because this happened. Moving on…

Seahawks (+6) over CARDINALS
The Cardinals have looked dead since clinching their playoff berth. But Kurt Warner is more interesting in saving souls verses saving a franchise. I hope is wife reads this and comments. Of course no one reads this so that chances of that happening are only slightly better than the chances of the Buzzsaw winning a playoff game.

Redskins (+3) over 49ERS
This might be the least interesting game in a week were half the games don’t matter…it should be broadcast on Oxygen. To boost interest the NFL could go WWE style and make it a “You’re Fired Match.” Losing coach loses his job. Camera should be transfixed on the coaches through out the game with frequent interruptions by side-line princesses asking them about how it feels to have their jobs hanging in the balance.

CHARGERS (-8) over Broncos
I have not been right on the Broncos all year… they have fucked me every step of the way so I can not cheer for them. Also as soon as this game ends, go ahead and bet $6 million against the winner of this game and the Cards in a two team teaser.

With yesterday being Christmas and all I thought you might be interested to know who in the “Wide Wide World of Sports” found a lump of coal under their tree last night…

Sean Avery: This guy was such a jerk during the playoffs last year that the NHL created and named a rule after him DURING the playoffs. He followed this up by calling a mini-press conference in front his locker so as to inform North American that NHL players can’t get enough of his sloppy seconds.

Scott Boras: For trying to screw over the Pirates… like they need any help getting fucked?

Roger (The Anti-Christ) Clemens: Hey remember the Mitchell report from 2007? No. Good just like MLB likes it. But in an attempt to make sure that his name is soiled for all eternity a few juicy (juice—get it?) facts came to light: His supposed best-friend, Andy Pettitte, acknowledging that Clemens indeed used performance-enhancing drugs, an appearance before a Congressional committee to defend his name (that went well), accusations of a 10-year affair with country music singer Mindy McCready, which began when she was just 15-years old (he’s a pedophile to boot!), and a report that Clemens was one of many major leaguers who used Viagra to help on-field performance( I am sure it was only needed for on-field performance).
Angel Matos: He should be getting a lump of coal but Santa is too afraid he will get a round house kick to the face. You might remember him as the Judo Olympian who kick the judge in the face after getting DQ’ed…

Travis Henry: It is tough to provide for one’s family during these tough economic times… just imagine trying to provide for your nine families. Travis Henry got busted in September, for drug trafficking multiple kilograms (that’s kilograms with a K) of cocaine. Henry faces 10 years to life if convicted.

Plaxico Burress: Plax will also be getting a pair of jeans and a belt with his coal.

O.J. Simpson: Believes that the real killers deserve the coal.

I am sure there are more people that got coal this Christmas but finding out who would require real research...

Hope you had a great Christmas and Good Luck in the New Year. Thanks for suckling DSB.

Bearcat

Merry Christmas from DSB

Best wishes this holiday season from DSB to all our faithful readers.

Bearcat

Boston sports nightmare...

From ESPN's Sports Guy: “Just know that if a gutty 11-5 Pats team is forced to sit out the playoffs because NFL rules demand that one of these two crappy AFC West teams be included, I'm sending a special homemade batch of holiday turd egg nog to the NFL offices with the note "ATTN: Roger Goodell." Damn it all.”

I am going to root for this out come like I have never rooted for anything my entire life. I want, nay, I need this to happen, I need it in my life like I need oxygen. After celebrating the Brady knee-capping earlier this year, I need to celebrate the failure of an 11-5 Patriots team making the playoffs. This would be the one of most wonderful events of my life. I would celebrate it like a wedding. I am seriously considering making a deal with the devil just to ensure this scenario plays out. God help me.

Bearcat

In Lieu of the Rookie list this week I present the first...
Official Bearcat NFL Rankings
1. Titans – Can you imagine if this team had this record and Vince Young was at the helm? 1. Peter King would be masturbating to the idea of Young as the greatest QB in NFL History and 2. ESPN would have inserted Rachel Nichols directly into his anus for 24/7 reporting.
2. Giants
3. Steelers
4. Panthers – Bill Cowher must be pissed that John Fox was able to pull it together in Carolina… he wanted this job and if the Panthers disappointed early it could have been his.
5. Ravens
6. Colts – Tony Dungy is still the first African American NFL coach to win a Super Bowl.
7. Buccaneers
8. Cowboys – Adam “Missile Command” Jones’ career might be over after a serious neck injury during the Steelers game last week. Wonder how that guy who was paralyzed after Jones “made it rain” in Vegas feels about this. My guess is Jones should not expect a “Get Well Soon” card.
9. Cardinals – The Buzzsaw is in the top ten…WTF?
10. Eagles – Remember when Andy Reid decided to punt the ball with 1:42 left in OT with short yardage? Yeah well Eagles fans will remember it again when they fail to make the playoffs due to that tied game against the Bengals… The BENGALS.
11. Patriots – Matt Cassel’s father died this week… bet the under.
12. Falcons – Every time I see Mike Turner I think of that Pittsburgh original, Turner’s Dairy Iced Tea…the best carton tea. Period.
13. Vikings – Is it just me or does Purple Jesus seem more like a Purple Muhammad these days? If he puts on 150 pounds this off season would that make him Purple Buddha?
14. Jets
15. Dolphins – Wondering if Joey Porter is still feeding mini ponies to his dogs given the dramatic downturn in the economy…
16. Saints
17. Broncos – RB Peyton Hillis had the potential to be a star white running back… until he blew out his hammy… that lasted long.
18. Bears – Brian Urlacher was caught on tape willing to trade a case of Vitamin Water and his Paris Hilton sex tape for a Senate seat.
19. Redskins
20. Texas – I don’t know what to think of this team unless they are wearing those ugly red uniforms.
21. Packers
22. Chargers – I am waiting for LDT to commence “Operation Shut Down.” Come on LDT you know you want to. Why risk the injury? Do it… Do it.
23. Bills
24. 49ers
25. Jaguars
26. Browns – Are currently waiting for another QB injury.
27. Seahawks – Tough stadium to play in with a huge home field advantage but not bigger than that of the
28. Chiefs – Arrowhead is the toughest stadium in the NFL for visiting teams… expect this year. 29. Raiders – Currently reviewing the nation’s criminal records files for the upcoming draft.
30. Rams
31. Bengals
53. Lions – I know there are 32 teams in the NFL but I figure there are at least 22 college, high school and Pop Warner football teams that can either win or cover against this embarrassing football team.

Your Not Quite Top Ten, Top Ten Euphemisms for Female Urination
10. Bailing out the Box
7. Pregnancy Testing
6. Her-ination
4. Tapping the Frilly Pink Kidney
2. Golden Shower is and extra 50 bucks… (perv)
1. Addressing the needs of my bladder

Now for you Thursday Links… Seriously?
Enough of this equal rights crap. You have a softball team. Enjoy. If the guys wanted to try out for the softball team would anybody fight to help them out? No. Now get back in the kitchen and shut your bitch mouth!

Consol Energy bought the naming rights to the new home of the Penguins… Everyone will still call it the Civic Arena… Pittsburghers don’t like change.

8 Insane Body Modifications…

Best nickname of the year...FIGJAM... If you check out only one link this week, make it this one.

Due to the serious lack of links this week and the fact that we have the holidays upon us DSB is here to offer some advice regarding attending holiday parties: Gentlemen (who am I kidding) Guys - do not drink girl drinks, examples include Cosmopolitans, Martinis that are not simply Gin or Vodka with Vermouth, Daquiris (your not on vacation) and basically anything fruity. Stick to beer, shots, and mixed drinks involving vodka, whiskey, rum and tequila with one mixer. However - ALL guys should be well versed in the preparation of girly drinks. How do you think I got my wife? Two words… Amaretto Sours.

Speaking of beer… it’s the holidays. How about splurging a bit and avoid bringing that piss flavored Natty Light to the party. Scrooge drinks Natty Light because it is the only substance on Earth more bitter and nasty than his soul. Better yet, skip the light beer altogether and bring a manly beer. How about something with flavor? Support your local micro or craft brewers, hell if you are that much of a simpleton just buy a Samuel Adams Winter Variety case… just don’t take cheap shit beer to the party.

At work place parties, occasionally look around and find someone drunker than you. If you can't find someone drunker than you, STOP DRINKING. You are the drunk person. While it would be highly hypocritical of DSB not to fully support getting face meltingly drunk, it defeats the purpose if you are the only one getting smashed and it is only 7 pm. If this is a work holiday party… best make sure others are far more plastered than you are.

Learn how to properly pour beer from a keg ... head is what you are hoping to get from the girl in accounting. Therefore, do not over pump of the keg. You are not looking to launch the space shuttle just trying to get 12 oz of liquid out of a sealed steel barrel, calm the FUCK down butter churner.

Clean up your mess - Everyone occasionally has a bad night drinking and causes a mess. Either clean up your mess or make it up to your friend the next day. Making up means apologizing and buying a GOOD case of beer or bottle of liquor… Natty Light or Wild Turkey do not say “I’m sorry” as much as “Best get thrashed because that is what I did to your place.” If it happens at the bar, blame someone else and move on.

Guys - NEVER let a girl out chug you as this will cause others to question your sexuality. That’s just the rules I don’t make them up… suck it up and learn to drink.

Bitch beer - Girls love Miller Lite. This never became more apparent than last weekend when Mrs. Bearcat (NOT a beer drinker) said “Was that Miller Lite? I liked it.” If you expect to have a party that isn't a sausage fest be sure to have Miller Lite as one of the beers. As stated before drink a manly beer… There will be plenty of Miller Lite later after you finish drinking your man beer… girls don’t drink much...that’s why we call them girls.

The official DSB hangover cure: Gatorade chasing Aleve. When planning to drink heavy, have some of this nearby.

Thanks for coming and suckling Daddy's Sugar Ball... please take the time to comment below Bearcat

BREAKING NEWS! ESPN wants your attention!

Why is it that every lead story on ESPN these days is BREAKING NEWS? CC Sabathia meets with the Yankees? BREAKING NEWS. J.J. Putz is involved in a 12-player trade to the Mets? BREAKING NEWS. Clinton Portis is miffed at coach Jim Zorn? Well, that's just a DEVELOPING STORY, with the potential to become BREAKING NEWS if they can't settle their differences. ESPN is now giving special treatment to regular 'ole news with ominous music and eye-catching graphics to make it seem more important than it really is. And when they're desperate and want to make sure you're still paying attention, they roll out THIS JUST IN, complete with all the pomp and circumstance of BREAKING NEWS. Poor Carmelo Anthony scoring 33 points in the 3^rd quarter on Wednesday night had to settle for THIS JUST IN at the start of the 4^th quarter, instead of the more provocative DEVELOPING STORY, if only the lowly minions at the WorldWide Leader had payed attention sooner. I'm shocked—SHOCKED!—at the restraint showed by ESPN that Anthony's night didn't become BREAKING NEWS when they discovered that he had set a team record for points in a quarter ...

So the New York Yankees have signed free agent CC Sabathia to a record-breaking (for a pitcher) deal of seven years and $161 million. Now they've got their pinstriped sights set on free agent A.J. Burnett with an offer of five years and $80 million. I have to say, I love it. Wasn't it around this time last year that the Yankees were preaching patience, tempering their love of quick-fix free agents with the wholesome yummyness of developing their farm system and building from within? My, how the seasons change. With Loud Hal now in charge of the organization and feeling the emptiness of missing the playoffs for the first time since 1995, it didn't take long for the Yanks to revert to their free-wheeling ways of overspending for players. Their modus operandi is to boldly outbid every other team by $20 million, and what's $20 million to the Yankees? Peanuts! Which, incidentally, will cost $9 a bag at the stadium next year. I applaud this. The Yankees I know hand out blockbuster contracts like a Pez dispenser. I think they should stop fighting who they are and embrace their Yankee-ness. Go all out. Don't just stop at Burnett. Sign every big-name free agent on the board. Ben Sheets? Two years, $30 million. Next. Derek Lowe? Four years, $70 million. Next. Bring back Andy Pettite, because you know it's inevitable. One year, $15 million, even though at this point he isn't worth more than $6 million. That should shore up the rotation to look something like this:

1. CC Sabathia
   
2. A.J. Burnett
   
3. Ben Sheets
   
4. Chien-Ming Wang
   
5. Derek Lowe
   

And Andy Pettite is good insurance for the multiple trips to the DL by Sheets and Burnett. Joba Chamberlain moves back to the bullpen to bridge the starters to Mariano Rivera. Let's move on to position players … first of all, it looks like our beloved Yanks are trading Melky Cabrera to the Brewers for Mike Cameron. Good move – Cameron costs more, so you just know he's the better player. Mark Teixiera? Eight years, $180 million. Manny? Suck it up and give him three years and $75 million. Rafael Furcal? Sorry, we already have a shortstop. But I will take some Orlando Hudson for five years and $40 million. Now we're getting somewhere! With these modest signings, your 2009 Yanks will look like this:

1. Mike Cameron, CF
   
2. Derek Jeter, SS
   
3. Mark Teixeira, 1B
   
4. Alex Rodriguez, 3B
   
5. Manny Ramirez, LF
   
6. Nick Swisher, RF
   
7. Johnny Damon, DH
   
8. Jorge Posada, C
   
9. Orlando Hudson, 2B
   

Not too bad if I do say so myself! The best part is that all these signings create roster flexibility and a deep bench, which are two crucial components of a playoff team. Said bench will consist of LF/DH Hideki Matsui, 2B Robinson Cano, RF Xavier Nady and C Jose Molina.

The only minor downside to the Yankees "win-at-all-costs," "money-is-no-object" mentality is that these signings may cause their payroll to swell a bit. But in the grand scheme of things, it's not against the rules and they can afford it. After all, who doesn't want to pay $14 for a cup of beer at the new Yankee Stadium?

 

Criminals...because sports would be kind of boring with out you guys

NYC Mayor/multi-billionaire did a presser earlier last week just to make sure everyone knows that he expects the DA to play shutdown corner on Plaxico Burress and basically said that he expects a conviction with serious jail time. So with Plax and his thigh hole looking at 3+ years in the clink and with O.J. Simpson getting put away until he is at least 70 years old I thought I would have a rundown of Athletes who have been put in the slammer...

So now I present the The Bearcat Not quite Ten Top Ten Athletes in Jail...

Number 10: In 2001, a judge sentenced Rae Carruth to serve at least 18 years and 11 months in prison. The Carolina Panthers wide receiver was convicted of ordering a hit on his pregnant girlfriend. She scribbled a note implicating her boyfriend before dying. A man who confessed to the shooting said Carruth planned to pay him $5,000 to avoid paying child support. Ray-Ray is a classy guy... some how the NFL broadcasters fail to ever bring this up... I think the NFL currently have a small army of lawyers working to rewrite the history of this guy and completely remove his name from NFL history.




Number 7: Maurice Clarett was once of the best college football players in the country. As a freshman at Ohio State, he rushed for 1,237 yards and 16 touchdown touchdowns. He capped the season by helping his team win the national championship at the Fiesta Bowl. It was his last game for Ohio State. In September 2006, Clarett pleaded guilty to charges of aggravated robbery and carrying a concealed weapon. After getting his goose on (the guy loves grey goose vodka) he was found with an AK-47 and several hand guns... after a short stand off in a wrecked car he had a date with a judge who sentenced Clarett to seven and a half years in prison with the possibility for parole after three and a half. Now that he is can't get his beloved Goose, I'm guessing he has gotten proficient with making toilet wine. I am willing to put money down that the Raiders will be making an offer shortly after his release.

Number 5: In 2004, Mike Danton was sentenced to seven and a half years in prison for a murder-for-hire plot. Prosecutors said the pro hockey center tried to hire a hit man to kill his agent, David Frost. According to court documents, Danton feared Frost would sink his hockey career by publicizing the fact that he was gay... which would totally not be a big deal in the very progressive locker rooms of the NHL. Frost recently had his own courtroom appearance. He was acquitted of sexual exploitation charges involving teenage hockey players and their girlfriends. The fact that you did not know about this just goes to show you how bad the state of hockey is right now... Do you think a jury would have convicted him if he was trying to get Scott Boras fired? I say no... but I am a Pirates fan. I hate Scott Boras.

Number 4: In 1995, former L.A. Rams defensive back Darryl Henley was convicted on drug trafficking charges and received 20 years in prison. Another 21 years were added to the sentence after he admitted to trying to hire a hit man to murder the judge and a witness in his drug trial. (hit men are very popular among athletes apparently) "Ultimately I'm the one that's responsible for what's happened in my life," he told an ESPN reporter in 2000. "But I do think that 90% of it is due to the choices I made, as far associations that I picked." At least he is taking 90% of the responsibility... I like this guy he seems to have learned his lesson.



Number 2: At one point, Vick (AKA Ron Mexico, AKA the human video game) was the highest-paid player in the NFL. Now, according to the Associated Press, he is making 12 cents an hour at a job at the federal penitentiary in Levenworth, Kan., where he's serving a 23-month sentence. Vick's arrest on dog fighting charges and his suspension from the NFL devastated his finances worse than an MC Hammer spending spree. Currently he is filing for bankruptcy from his federally provided rape stand. In court filings, Vick says he has assets of $16 million and liabilities of $20.4 million which is only a slightly better financial situation than being an automaker.

Number 1: After thirteen years of searching for the "real killers" O.J. Simpson was convicted of armed robbery and kidnapping. A jury found Simpson guilty in a 2007 incident where he entered a hotel room with associates carrying guns and took sports memorabilia from two of the most crooked men on the planet earth...errr... collectibles dealers. This guy is everyone consensus number one right? Everyone hates this guy and frankly the Vegas DA's office was never going to let this guy off the hook a second time... I am totally ok with this conviction even if it was based on his prior history. I don't care, just like all the other white people.




A couple links...

Speaking of criminal acts... The 7 most retarded criminal excuses

Keeping on the stupid criminals track...Man arrested after cops find crack in his vomit... "Of course we are not sure if it was his vomit you can't finger print vomit." (Any time I can quote Spinal Tap you know it is a great post)

This guy has a thing for prison tats...

One last criminal for the links... Scott Boras. Ten deals by Scott Boras
Yeah I am piling on Boras...I don't care.

Stuff I thought over the past week...

Screaming at the TV works... whether is be me screaming at some political figure lying out his ass or your basic "throw it" at Big Ben for holding the ball too long this must have an effect right?

Wow, OJ got nine years. That seems like a short sentence for killing your wife.

Here's a free porn movie title idea:"She Didn't See It Coming"

Ladies, I don't get it. Why don't you women love being stalked? I would love to have a chick stalking me.

Work is a lot like alcohol in that it makes the people around you seem more attractive than they actually are.

When studios were scrambling for obscure superheroes (i.e. Watchmen) to make movies about, how on Earth did they overlook Captain Planet?

Is it racist to not want to be around jaundice-colored people?

Something to look forward too in the coming days... a post about craigslist.org and your regular Thursday links.

Thanks for coming and suckling Daddy's Sugar Ball... please comment to let us know what you think.

Bearcat

People who are using up my oxygen

This is the first of an ongoing series here at DSB...enjoy and thanks for coming and suckling on Daddy's Sugar Ball.

Quick quiz - name the lead singers of the following bands: Coldplay, The Killers, Nickelback, and Maroon 5.

If you said Chris Martin, Brandon Flowers, Chad Kroeger, and Adam Levine you are correct…now name the bass player from each of those bands. If you said you have no freakin’ idea that would be correct too - - nobody knows the bass player unless you are a member of the fan club. And if you are…are you like 16?

Now let me ask those same two questions about the band Fall Out Boy…how is it that nobody knows the lead singer (Patrick Stump, btw), but everyone knows that douchebag bass player Pete Wentz?

Why is it that Wentz is all over MTV, E!, People magazine, and every other media outlet when he's only the band's bass player? Is it because he married Ashlee Simpson? On a side note, I always thought Jessica was the way to go in that family; but considering she’s been with seemingly "normal" guys in Nick Lachey, John Mayer, and Tony Romo I’m starting to re-think my position…Ashlee has definitely vaulted into the lead of the Simpson most likely to take it up the ass (and I’m not counting O.J.’s pending incarceration)...however, Wentz considers himself a bisexual so she may also be the Simpson most likely to pull a Janice Soprano-like Ralphie and I don’t want any part of that.

Recently Wentz and Ashlee had their first son and promptly guaranteed him years of beatings by naming him Bronx Mowgli. That’s right…they named their kid like he was a hermit crab from the shore that will die within two months. Bronx - because they live there? No. Bronx – because that’s where they met? No. Bronx – because after David Beckham and Posh named their son Brooklyn, they didn’t want to get stuck with Queens or Staten Island as a name? No. Bronx – just because they liked the sound of it. And Mowgli? Obviously both are big fans of Disney’s Jungle Book. This makes complete sense…for people who ride the short bus. Apparently they didn't like the sound of Bronx Cruella or Bronx Nemo.

I can’t believe Wentz’s 2005 suicide attempt was unsuccessful and now he and his mutant offspring are both breathing air that is more suited to me.

Your Thursday Links and video... Extra Large Thanksgiving Edition

First a quick look at the NFL Rookies that I can think of off the top of my head…If I forgot an import Rookie contributing right now just know that it took me 20 minutes to put this together... I am not doing serious research today. 

Matt Ryan (Falcons) – Atlanta’s Mark Bradley wrote an article Monday calling Ryan the best rookie QB ever. Have we forgotten about Big Ben and his 13-0 start 98 QB rating and taking the Steelers to the AFC Championship game already? This has me extremely pissed right now. 

Darren McFadden (Raiders) – It looks like the Raiders are working McFadden back into the offense. He returned last week after sitting out three weeks with turf toe but only had three carries. This week he had 10 carries for just 38 yards but contributed with 2 touchdowns. He should become a bigger part of the Raiders offense down the stretch due to the fact that the Raiders have no other offensive weapons… the black hole is really becoming just that a black hole. It will suck you in and crush you. 

Leodis McKelvin (Bills) – As a top 15 pick McKelvin was expected to challenge for a starting spot and work his way into the lineup while contributing in the return game. It took McKelvin awhile to break the starting lineup but he showed his potential against the Chiefs (in Arrowhead no less). McKelvin had his first and second career interceptions and returned one of those 64 yards for the touchdown that gave the Bills the lead for good. I have a soft spot of the Bills… is my bias showing? 

Joe Flacco (Ravens) – The most important stat is Flacco is 7-4 as a starter. He completed just 12 of his 26 pass attempts for 182 yards. But he had 2 touchdowns and more importantly no interceptions. His QB rating was slightly higher than that of McNabb and Kolb who combined for an 11. (at least it was not single digits.) Frankly I think I could muster at least a QB rating of 15. Christ the Eagles are in a bad spot… more on that later. 

Chris Johnson (Titans) – Maybe Chris Johnson is hitting the rookie wall. His last three games have been three of his worst. He managed 61 total yards against what is starting to look like a tough Jets defense but he does seem to be slowing down. Luckily for him the Titans face Detroit, Cleveland, and Houston in their next three games. Meaning… he should be ok and he is going to be straight money in Fantasy Football.

Dustin Keller (Jets) – Keller has come on strong the past three weeks. After very little production in his first eight games he has become a reliable target for Favre recently. He’s had at least 6 receptions in each of his last three games including 6 catches for 42 yards Sunday. He now leads rookie tight ends in receiving yards.

Matt Forte (Bears) – The Bears playoff hopes lie with Forte. Forte is on pace to trail only Walter Payton for most yards from scrimmage in Bears franchise history. He has quietly become the best and most consistent rookie running back in a very deep class. Forte had 20 carries for 132 yards and scored two of the Bears three touchdowns against the Rams. Of course after further review… it was against the Rams.

DeSean Jackson (Eagles) – Jackson leads all rookies in receiving yards. It didn’t matter whether it was McNabb throwing him the ball or Kevin Kolb it was nearly intercepted every time. On a team officially going Chernobyl right now this is your bright spot Philly.

Kevin Smith (Lions) – Poor Kevin Smith. He and Calvin Johnson seem to be the only salvageable spots in the car wreck that is your 2008 Detroit Lions. Smith had 86 yards on 16 carries as the hapless Lions fell to a GM like 0-11. Lions management is currently scheduling a hearing with Barney Frank’s committee to seek a bail out. Here is a tip don’t take the Lions private jet.

Harry Douglas (Falcons) – Everyone seems to be contributing for the Falcons. Douglas led the Falcons with 92 receiving yards and had a touchdown (including a 60+ yard punt return). Who knew having your star QB get throw in jail for dog fighting and having your coach defect during the season could be so great for this team.

Steve Slaton (Texans) – Slaton carried the load for the Texans against the Browns. He had 21 carries for 73 yards. The Texans are a fraud… don’t trust them. They will be lousy again next season.

Tim Hightower (Cardinals) – Hightower is back to pleasing fantasy owners but displeasing Cardinals’ fans. Hightower had 21 yards on 10 carries but got into the end zone twice. He is tied with Matt Forte among rookie running backs with 9 touchdowns.

Peyton Hillis (Broncos) – So I guess I was wrong about this guy. I thought for sure after his 116 receiving yards against the Dolphins that would be it. A one time fluke. But then he scores two touchdowns last week. But that had to be it right? He’s supposed to be a fullback. But he produced yet again this Sunday. Hillis had 74 rushing yards and scored the Broncos lone touchdown. He should have a tough time next week against the Jets but then faces the Chiefs the week after that. So basically forget I ever mentioned him…

Davone Bess (Dolphins) – Yeah that is his real name…that's all I got. 

Thoughts I had over the past week that I thought I would share... 

Nobody ever told me 7 Years In Tibet was shot in real time. 

So it turns out that VD is one of those things that CAN"T stay in Vegas. 

Sometimes I cry during sex, but it's usually from the mace. And sometimes I cry during sex because of all the onions. 

Kudos to the porn industry for not parodying children's show titles; What with opportunities like Whore-uh the Sexplorer and Tellyhumpies. Going that route would have been cheap and easy... The porn industry is neither cheap nor easy.

"Honey," she said, and then there was a decidedly *pregnant* pause... She finally resumed speaking again, saying, "I'm drunk." (heart attack avoided)

C'mon, is anybody out there actually ROFL? You're all liars.

Bible spoiler alert: He comes back at the end.

If I was John Connor and I had Summer Glau as my personal Terminator… I would order her to “do” me… I would.

A new addition to the Thursday links…Bearcat’s Not Quite Top Ten

This weeks Not Quite Top Ten... bull shit conversations you will be forced to have at the Thanksgiving table.

10 Typtophan -- YES...we did know that the chemical in turkey that makes us tired is call typtophan. We have this same fucking conversation every year. Can't we talk about a chemical like THC that makes us tired and is actually awesome or something?

9. Christmas ads are earlier this year. The money grubbing fucks in marketing firms would run Christmas ads all year long if they thought it would make you buy more knife sets and George Forman Grills. Who are you Andy Rooney find something new to bitch about.

6. Fried Turkey Accidents. Yeah I saw the video of the red neck who burned his house down after putting a frozen turkey into a tub of molten hot lard. I know this is a slow news cycle but if the local new programs do another expose about some dip shit who rendered his family homeless for the holidays because he is too retarded to know that a grease fire is fucking dangerous I might have to chuck my TV into a deep fryer.

5. The Economy stinks... no shit... can we please not rehash how your 401K has crashed and burned.  Suck it up asshole, I don't care if you lost five large on AIG.

3. Should we invite “Steve” to dinner? You have some poor schmuck friend who can’t afford to head back to his/her hometown for the holidays. He’s going to suck the entire time, but you know you’ll feel like a dick for not inviting him. You have to devise a scheme to not be friends with “Steve” by this time next year. 

2. Lumpy gravy and oyster stuffing Somebody always has to give their two cents on some terrible variation of a holiday classic. “I prefer raisins in my stuffing.” “I like a more lumpy gravy.” “I hate marshmallows in my sweet potatoes.” Here’s our advice; stay at home and eat whatever the fuck you want. Eat your oyster raisin stuffing to your little heart’s content. There are obviously several variations on everything you’ll be eating. That doesn’t give you the right to speak. Please go back to the kid’s table and don’t complain that you are the only person sitting there. 

1. What is everyone thankful for this year? 

Now for some links...

Barry Bonds got some relief from a Federal Judge... by relief I mean he is still looking at 50+ years.Hey remember the Mitchell Report... no... that is exactly what Baseball wants. Well it has been a year so what have we forgotten about?
Amateur cock toucher/Professional Football toucher Brady Quinn is out for the season... not as exciting as when another Brady when out for the season but it does make me happy that I can post this picture.
The only Detroit Lion tradition longer than being a supremely crappy and losing football team…losing on ThanksgivingSeriously? Enough of this equal rights crap. You have a softball team. Enjoy. If the guys wanted to try out for the softball team would anybody fight to help them out? No. Now get back in the kitchen and shut your bitch mouth!
For Cap... Is Jennifer Walcott now offically a MILF?The top ten hottest triplets of all time...

This is for Max Power... I now present Hal McRae everybody!



Why do we play?



Who are the Bears?



Did someone say playoffs?



Practice... not the game... we talking about Practice.



So who do we got pitching tonight?



I'm not sure how I did not see this until today but apparently the Phillies like getting hammered in the ass.

CSI's latest case: the missing hot chick

It seems like at any point in the day you can find a rerun of CSI, CSI: Miami, or CSI: NY on Spike or A&E. After watching each of these incarnations, I have one simple question...where are all the hot chicks? Sure they bring in the occasional hottie for each individual episode, but have you noticed the series regulars look like your average housewife. I watch TV to escape my everyday life...not to look at women who look the ones I see at the supermarket.

Just like some professional ballplayer's contracts have clauses to always keep them the highest paid outfielder (for example), I'm convinced something must be written into the female leads' contracts to prevent anyone hotter from becoming a regular.

CSI (the original) - Don't get me wrong, Marg Helgenberger portraying an ex-stripper turned forensic expert should be on anyone's cougar list as she recently turned 50 and is still getting it done. But is Jorja Fox and Louise Lombard really the best we can do for a show set in Las Vegas?

Solutions:
Elisha Cuthbert - Just use her character in The Girl Next Door as a jumping off point as she could portray an ex-porn star turned crime scene investigator.
Vanessa Marcil - Since her Las Vegas show was cancelled, they could just use her same character and cross her over to the CSI lab.

CSI: Miami - - First and foremost, this show is virtually unwatchable thanks to David Caruso's ridiculous acting. That being said...Emily Proctor and Eva La Rue are both mighty attractive in a marrying kind of way, but it's South Beach for god's sake. I want skimpy outfits and breasts worthy of skimpy outfits. La Rue has tremendous upside potential but they need to stop dressing her in floral prints with a lot less actual clothing.

Solutions:
Lacey Chabet - Who doesn't want to see those ta-tas stuffed into a bikini?

Gabrielle Union - Rumored to be Dwyane Wade's latest squeeze, how could she not be perfect for the Miami setting?

CSI: New York - - Of the three shows, this one has the biggest "out". It's New York and not the hottie hotbeds of Vegas or Miami. But that being said, it has the worst cast...Melina Kanakaredes is trying to carry the torch but the real downfall is Anna Belknap. They added her after the show's first season and this was the best they could do? She may be a competent actress, but I want eye candy solving crimes.

Solutions:
Alyssa Milano - New York is the perfect setting for this Brooklyn-born actress.

Sofia Vergara - NY has a 17% hispanic population and I think it's about time we have some representation with this Colombian-born beauty.

Please take the time to comment and thanks for coming and suckling on Daddy's Sugar Ball.

My new Sunday ritual

After much anticipation, a new sports bar has planted its flag on the West Shore at the site of the former Dorado in Camp Hill. Arooga's15 opened on Wednesday to the delight of many who have been clamoring for a quality sports bar on the west side of the river, and the Arooga's team has thrown down the gauntlet. Let this be the GOLD STANDARD of midstate sports bars. At a business lunch today, the place was packed and I was very impressed by the layout and "feel" of the operation. Aroogas15 proudly boasts of more than 100 HDTVs placed throughout the bar and dining room areas. From my seat in the dining room, I could see no less than 31 flat screens WITHOUT MOVING MY HEAD. It's like Vizio vomited in the place, and it is awesome. I already reserved my table for March Madness.

The owner told me that you can see multiple TVs from any seat in the house and that they have 20 beers on tap, about half of which are imports and craft beers, as well as an Arooga's Amber Ale made by Sam Adams, and an Arooga's Lite made by Budweiser. I spotted Rogue Dead Guy Ale lined up in formation among the tap handles, which made me happy.

Known for their wings, Arooga's has an extensive menu. I, of course, opted for the 10-piece boneless wings ($7.49) over fries in Louisiana Garlic sauce. Patrons can choose their intensity levels of wing sauces, from mild/medium/hot/sudden death. I went with the hot, which was not bad, but I think I have to up the ante to sudden death next time ... which will be on Sunday ... for seven hours of NFL football.

Things that pissed me off this week

Field of Feces
Betcha didn't know that former Major League centerfielder Brett Butler (not to be confused with this Brett Butler) wrote a book. No, really! In 1997 Butler expelled the autobiographical Field of Hope, presumably from his bowels. Well, "wrote" is a strong word to use when the book in question is a collaboration with prolific author Jerry B. Jenkins, but I digress. The point is that I read Field of Hope this week and couldn't stand it. Butler smears his smug and condescending attitude across the pages from beginning to end. Here's the general synopsis for those of you who enjoy Cliff's Notes: nothing is ever Butler's fault. Ever. Accountability is not his bag. Oh, and God loves Brett Butler because Brett Butler has grit. That point is hammered home repeatedly. In Field of Hope, Butler blames his short stature for not being taken seriously as a ballplayer and therefore attacks anyone who doesn't think he's greater than sliced bread (he's not). Butler wastes no time throwing his Napoleonic weight around whenever he doesn't get his way. He blames his baseball coach for not getting enough playing time high school ... he whines when Hall-of-Famer Rickey Henderson gets a bigger contract than he does ... he throws a hissy fit when he's hitting .214 as a 38-year old outfielder and his coach benches him for a couple of games. Butler tries to rationalize that he needs 500 at-bats to produce, but what he doesn't realize is that the law of averages will allow most ballplayers to produce over 500 at-bats. What an asshole.

If you've ever thought about picking up a copy at your local library's $1 book sale, save your buck unless you're a holy-roller and you're into that shit.

Barbaro finished in fifth-place
One of the functions of the Baseball Writers Association of America (BBWAA) is to determine Major League Baseball's postseason awards. Founded in 1908, the stuffy association takes great pains to protect its deserved image as utterly inept and dishearteningly confounding. For instance, the BBWAA handed out the NL Rookie of the Year hardware earlier this week to catcher Geovany Soto of the Chicago Cubs, who received a deserving 31-out-of-32 first-place votes. Cincinnati Reds pitcher Edinson Volquez finished a measly fourth in the balloting, receiving just three second-place votes for a year in which he went 17-6 with a 3.21 ERA and 206 Ks in 196 innings. So why, do you ask, no respect for Volquez' great year? Good question and surprisingly (to the BBWAA) the answer is that Volquez is not a rookie. Volquez has been pitching in the big leagues since 2005 and cracked the 50-inning threshold for rookie consideration back in 2007 while with the Texas Rangers. Morons. And in case you're wondering who should have their voting rights revoked, the voters are Jeremy Cothran of the Newark Star-Ledger, the Los Angeles Daily News' John Kilma and the North County Times' Jay Paris.

Your Thursday links ... endorsed by six of the seven deadly sins

Before we get to the links a quick note about tonight’s Steelers vs. Bengals game ... Cincy is currently 1-8-1 after nine games. 1-8-1 should be a sexual position ... kind of like finger-cuffs. Couple that with the fact that 11 Bungles are inactive for tonight’s game (Ocho-Stinko being one of them for violating an undisclosed team rule), and I think the Steelers are going to go 1-8-1 on the Bengals tonight. Unpronounceable Bengal Chinedum Ndukwe, who vowed revenge on Hines Ward for his jaw-breaking hit on Keith Rivers, is also going to miss Thursday's game with a foot injury. That is too bad I was hoping to see Ward break something of his too. It will be interesting to see how many Bengals Marvin Lewis can actually get to show up for tonight’s game.

Dick LeBeau will have his defense blitz Ryan "Harvard Graduate"Fitzpatrick (legal name) until Fitz actually bleeds Crimson. This will be a blow out … can you really blame Carson Palmer for not wanting to play tonight?
As far as a guess as to what team rule Ocho-Stinko violated, I am going with: he was seen “making it rain” in Vegas with Javon Walker, Chris Henry and a dozen high school-aged girls … just a thought.

And now the links ...
With word that a Tyler at UNC has broken his wrist and is out for the season, you can hear thousands of hearts skip a beat

For you Central PA wrestling fans (both of whom could careless about this site): a Deadspin.com story about York College wrestlers and herpes.

Pacman Jones is Back-Man Jones ... I can't help myself. I have to believe that Jerry Jones went to the NFL Commish's office and laid the wood on this one. "Mr. Goodell, I did not pay this guy millions of dollars just so you could suspend him. By the way in case you forgot, you work for me and I have a hot tub in my bedroom shaped like Dallas Stadium. That's right."

This is not going to help soccer's image in America ... it hasn’t really helped Mike Singletary.

The headline is all you need. Man cuts off own head with chainsaw.

Five lamest forwards and why your mom loves them.

Inmate gets $300,000 for lost genitals.

Is ESPN just too big? Now with them getting a hold of the BCS bowl games, what don't they have other than hockey (and we can see what that has done for hockey)? This is not good for sports; getting your news, even sports news, from one source is not good.

If you have ever gambled on sports for any length of time, there is one thought that every gambler has at some point or another - "this stuff is fixed." There is no doubt that if you gamble on sports you think it has to be fixed. After last weeks Steelers game there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that football is the same as blackjack. Simply put, "the house always wins."

From WhodeyRevolution.com some quick Bengals facts... enjoy the game tonight.

• 17 - Years since the Bengals have won a playoff game
• 0 - Total number of playoff wins in Mike Brown's tenure as owner
• .348 - Bengals regular season winning percentage since Mike Brown took over as owner (97-181 in 17 seasons)
• 15-23 - Record since 2005 playoff game vs Steelers
  6 - Seasons the Bengals have lost their first six games since 1991. No other team has more than two.
• 0 - Teams North of Cincinnati without an indoor practice facility
• 10 - Players arrested in a 14 month span from 2005-2006
• 32 - Mike Brown's ranking, out of 32, of the "Best Owners in the NFL" by Michael Silver of Sports Illustrated in 2007
• 458,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, that Hamilton County Taxpayers paid to build PBS
• 2032 - Year that Hamilton County will have finally paid off its debt on the stadium deal
• 3 - Total number of non-clerical employees employed in the Bengals scouting department, lowest in the league
• 747,000,000 - Amount, in dollars, paid in free agency by the Bengals from 1994 - 2005, second worst of all 28 teams in existence for the duration, behind only Arizona
• 118 – Ranking, out of 118 professional teams, of the “Worst Franchises” in professional sports, as ranked by ESPN the Magazine in 2003.
• 97 – Ranking, out of 98 general managers in all four major sports with three or more years of experience, of Mike Brown’s performance as a GM, as ranked by Forbes in 2007.

Please take the time to comment and thanks for coming and suckling on Daddy's Sugar Ball.
Bearcat

I want answers ...

Earlier this week I heaped tons of praise on Anne Hathaway. It was her birthday and frankly I am a little more than smitten with her. She is great. While I was wrestling with the idea of adding pictures from either of her best scenes (i.e. Havoc or Brokeback Mountain; they are great scenes). I was wondering once again why don't we have any decent pictures of Alessandra Ambrosio? You know Alessandra - the smoking hot Victoria's Secret supermodel. Yeah. She's pretty much perfect. But for a woman who makes a living taking off her clothes in front of the camera, the internet is severely lacking any decent pictures. This is the best I could find.
Now that is great stuff [Ed. note: I concur.]. But come on - this is the 21st century, the age of TMZ.com and every Hollywood tramp (i.e. Britney, Paris and Lindsay) having flashed their respective uterus outside of nightclubs and broadcast across the net. How can there be no decent spankbank pictures of this woman? Why has she remained so elusive? There is not some jilted ex-boyfriend with pictures or video of her? Come on! This is my unicorn ... my white whale. In Full Metal Jacket Matthew Modine's Pvt. Joker is instructed by his Army newspaper editor to photograph a movie star coming to entertain the troops at a USO show: "I want lots of low angles. I want to see morning dew, you understand?" And now I say to you slimy paparazzi:"I want lots of low angles. I want to see morning dew." Break into the Victoria's Secret backstage dressing room. Follow this woman to the ends of the Earth. I don't ask for much.

Now for a quick movie review... I went to see the new James Bond movie Quantum of Solac, yesterday. Before you read my thoughts a I have to be honest and tell you I am a HUGE [Ed. note: spiritually and physically] James Bond fan. When I was young, I read many of Ian Fleming's books and while most kids were wanting to grow up to be a doctor or lawyer, I was wondering how I could join MI6 as an American. This depressed me greatly. Now I am a civil servant and I need a martini.

Moving on ... so I did something I rarely do. I saw a movie on opening weekend. I rarely do that and I can count on one hand the number of times I have done this over the pastfive 5 years. Casino Royale, Transformers, The Departed and now, Quantum of Solace. The reviews of this latest Bond film have been less than great. Mostly in the two to two-and-one-half star range from what I have read. They are seriously missing the point. This Bond is not an action hero. The pace of these movies is more deliberate. Bond is actually mortal. The villains are not superhuman but simply dictators and finance geeks. This is a 21st century spy movie. It has twists and turns, the action is quick and detailed but not bent on rockets fired from a BMW or Aston Martin. Someone once said that "There is nothing new about car chases, just new ways to shoot them." That is true and the opening scene is fantastic for just that. Keep in mind while watching it they wrecked 14 Aston Martin DBSs and one stunt driver died filming it.
Daniel Craig is awesome. I spent most the movie wondering how this film was made without killing him. The stunts are impressive and he obviously did many of them. Judy Dench is awesome as M and we get a peek at why her code name might be 'M,' which had me nearly jumping out of my seat. Jeffery Wright returns as 'Felix', Bonds' CIA counterpart. Throughout the movie, the whole theme is confliction. The characters are conflicted about who to trust, who is right, what is the right thing to do. Everyone but Bond, and yes, he is pissed about it and everything else. But he is right and that is why he is the hero. He is not conflicted. While his moral compass might not aways point to true north, he understands what his duty is. Some critics have called for Bond to take anger management classes (I am looking in your direction, Entertainment Weekly) but they must not have stayed for the last ten minutes of the movie. This is a character study in a sense. With Craig signed on to do at least two more Bond movies in the coming years (something a $70 million dollar opening weekend, a franchise record, can ensure) I think we will see an evolving Bond and it would be nice to see Bond as more than Tuxedos and Martinis.

This movie is well-written, the Bond babes are hot, the pace of the movie is great and the scenes are fantastically-shot. The characters are deeper than they have ever been in any Bond movie since From Russian with Love and gives the movie-goer his/her monies' worth. Bearcat gives this movie four-and-a-half out of five sugar balls. So go see it.

Now for video and links.

This one come from ClayTravis.net and shows what girls are doing when they got to the bathroom together at the football game.



Her screaming as she runs down the bathroom and the sound of the door getting crushed kills me. And thanks to this being the 21st-century and thanks to Deadspin.com, we know her name (Leah Logue) and have her facebook page (update the page appears to have been erased). We have this but we don't have decent pictures of a Victoria Secret Model!!!

The Dodgers have raised the price of their most expensive spring training game tickets to $90. Last year they were $20. Couple this with the fact that they now only let the kids in the expensive seats clamor for autographs during batting practice and it makes me want to hate this franchise. Guess they need to get that money for Manny from somewhere but damn, $90 for spring training. 90 bucks for split-squad ball. Please Cap, tell your team to go fix itself.

This is what being a coach in college athletics is about.

The Rooneys are going to keep control of the NFL's greatest francise ...

For the first time in nearly 25 years, we may have a significant change in how we interact with computers ... it looks like the computer from Minority Report and I totally want one.




That's it for now ... thanks for coming and suckling Daddy's Sugar Ball.

Bearcat

Music you should be listening to

Amanda Palmer - Who Killed Amanda Palmer?

Palmer (the female half of the Dresden Dolls) has accomplished something striking on her first solo disc. She has married the punk cabaret sound of the Dolls to the more mainstream sound of producer Ben Folds. The results are remarkable.

At a time when female singer-songwriters who play piano are getting airplay (think Sara Bareilles, Ingrid Michaelson), this disc will go unjustifiably ignored by the radio and music television powers that be.

If you have a sister/niece/daughter between the ages of 14 and 20, this should be a necessary item on your holiday buying list.

Songs to download: Ampersand, Astronaut, Runs in the Family

Check out Amanda Palmer if you like: 1990s Liz Phair, Tori Amos


Vampire Weekend - "Ottoman"

Vampire Weekend burst onto the scene in the last year and became everyone's darling. And while I like a lot of the songs off their self-titled debut, I was never ready to suck their collective lollipops like everyone else seemed to be and anoint them the “next great thing”.

This song, however, is from the Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist soundtrack and displays a new direction. I find this song to be much more accessible than anything previous. Gone are the Paul Simon-like African rhythms or Talking Heads-like reggae beats and instead this song is full of strings driving the tempo and lead singer Ezra Koenig dipping into falsetto. The one thing that remains though is a borrowed line from their own “Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa” namedropping Peter Gabriel.


Hotel Lights - Firecracker People

I was lucky enough to get a ticket for the Ben Folds Five reunion concert this past September down in Chapel Hill, NC. Former BF5 drummer Darren Jessee opened the show as his latest incarnation, the group Hotel Lights. Their set intrigued me enough to purchase their latest album, Firecracker People, off of iTunes when I got home and it was one of my better impulse purchases of the year.

Jessee’s melodic, mellow pop-country songs are better suited to recordings (as opposed to a live setting in a large theatre). It was after repeated listenings though that I discovered the real magic in this disc - - Jessee’s aching vocals add to the emotional depth even beyond the heartbreaking lyrics of most of these songs.

Songs to download: Run Away Happy, Blue Always Find Me, Firecracker People

Check out Hotel Lights if you like: Elliott Smith, Ryan Adams, Bright Eyes (Conor Oberst)


The Eels - "Things the Grandchildren Should Know"

I recently caught the PBS documentary Parallel Worlds, Parallel Lives which features Mark Everett (or as his friends call him, E) of the Eels in an exploration about his late physicist father Hugh.

First of all, I wholeheartedly recommend the documentary…it is enthralling and most of that is due to E’s charismatic personality on his journey. Even if the science involved is above 99.9% of the viewers, it is E grasping for understanding of his father and his family that make this compelling viewing.

One of the Eels’ songs that they used in the show was “Things the Grandchildren Should Know” and it struck a chord with me. It’s a simple little song - - it’s just a basic strum with Dylanesque talking/singing. But written with surprising candor, E puts his whole life out there in 5 ½ minutes. So much so, that he used the title again in a recent autobiography.

I will be checking out most of the Eels’ catalog in the next couple of months, so don’t be surprised to see them in this feature again.

As always, please feel free to comment below and thanks for coming and suckling on Daddy’s Sugar Ball

Beer Review...Random Thoughts...Links

Today's beer review is for Murphy's Irish Stout... I have been a long time fan of Murphy's. Guinness is my favorite mainstream beer and Stouts are my favorite variety of beer so naturally I am a big fan of Irish Dry Stouts and Murphy's is an excellent example. This beer today was sampled from a 16 oz. widget can poured into a fat pint glass. It pours just like a Guinness with the beautiful cascading effect after a vigorous pour. It settles out with a rich black body with a red mahogany hue when held up to the light. This is topped with a light brown creamy thick head that stays with you for the entire pint. The taste has some faint chocolate traces with roasted grains and a coffee like finish. Not as chocolately or coffee like as Guinness can some can sometimes be; more malty. The beer is silky smooth thanks to the creamy head. This is a beer for when you decide "I want Guinness but I want to save 4 bucks on a case." or if you are in the mood to just try something different but at the same time familiar. Drink this beer while watching English Premier League Soccer or Rugby then go hooligan and punch some ass wipe wanker in the face for drinking his sissy Coors Light. If you are looking to try another Irish Dry Stout also check out Beamish. Another of Bearcat's highly rated beers.

Here are some thoughts I had that I thought needed to be shared here with you, DSB's loyal readers...

If Olive Garden really was like family, the chef would be crying in the kitchen, and the waiter would accuse your brother of being gay.

If I were Ladainian Tomlinson, I would wait until I got out of the locker room to eat my Campbell's soup.

Policy in Effect: Sheepskin boots are reserved for the women in snowy climates who need them. You look stupid walking around NYC on a 58 degree day in those.

People who make jokes about bulimia make me want to puke.

Is it just me or are does there seem to be a lot of hot chicks in anorexia treatment programs?

In public restrooms, I always give air fresheners the middle finger... just in case they're actually hidden cameras.

I don't trust a man who uses emoticons. I don't like being winked at by you or a smiley face representing you.

What's with all the hype around Lance Armstrong? It's not he's curing canc- What? He is? Oh

Now for some links...

Wondering what your favorite sports athletes are making? Thanks... USAToday!

Has MNF run its course? With last weeks game of 49ers vs. Cardinals followed by this weeks Brown at Bills you have to wonder who the hell sets up these games... oh yeah, its ESPN.

AskMen's top 99 women of 2009... they need your vote. If you don't vote who else is going to denigrate these women as mear sex objects. Its your duty.

Nine of Jame's Bond best sex puns

Fox cancels Mad TV ... Wait you mean to tell me that Mad TV spent 14 years on TV but they canceled Arrested Development after only 3 seasons? 14 seasons for Mad TV... they waited 12 seasons too long to cancel that POS. This makes me angry.

Speaking of cancellations... My Own Worst Enemy was It's Own Worst Rating Enemy. Christian Slater is now shopping a script for Young Guns 3 around town.

The six most unintentionally hysterical old school PSAs

16 Awesome Senior Portraits... If you fail to follow any of these links please don't let it be this one. It is that good.

Thanks for coming and suckling on Daddy's Sugar Ball. Please feel free to comment below or email at billybearcat@gmail.com

Bearcat

Hot babe and NFL Rookies

Today is Anne Hathaway’s Birthday...

Anne Hathaway is my number 1…Mrs. Bearcat is surprisingly ok with this... couple that with the fact that she has sat at the top of my standings for some time now and in tribute to this super hot Hollywood babe some great shots for you to enjoy…

Now for a quick rundown of the NFL Rookies through week 10 of the NFL season… I decided to do a run down after watching Matt Ryan over the past couple weeks look really impressive and after realizing so many Rookies are getting it done in their first year.

Matt Ryan (Falcons) – With Chris Johnson’s horrible day against the Bears, Matt Ryan is definitely the frontrunner for rookie of the year. Ryan is now 6-3 as a starter and had another great day against the Saints. Ryan completed 16 of 23 passes for nearly 250 yards and 2 touchdowns. That being said he is no Dan Marino… at least not yet. Ryan is seriously overshadowing another decent rookie on the Falcons Chevis Jackson who has one interception but had been pretty good at CB.

Glenn Dorsey (Chiefs) – Dorsey got his first career sack Sunday against Philip Rivers. Although some Chiefs fans expected more sacks out of Dorsey, he’s a defensive tackle and sacking the QB isn’t exactly what they drafted him for. In what is an impressively crappy season for the Chiefs this guy might be the brightest spot.

Joe Flacco (Ravens) – Flacco is now 6-3 as a starter and he’s not simply relying on the Ravens defense to win games. Flacco is playing extremely well as he went 15 for 23 for 185 yards and 2 touchdowns this past week. This is his second straight week with 2 touchdowns. While he’s been overshadowed a bit by Matt Ryan, Flacco is having a great year for a rookie QB. Of course the Ravens will destroy any hope of actually having a decent QB in the coming weeks because… well because they are the Ravens and they don’t have decent QBs.

Chris Johnson (Titans) – Chris Johnson finally rolled craps Sunday against the Bears. He had a paltry 8 yards on 14 carries but the Titans remain undefeated. Despite the poor performance, Johnson still leads all rookies in rushing yards. This guy has the benefit of having the best O-line in the NFL and getting tons of carries (on most Sundays) because the Titans like nothing better than to grind it out.

Dustin Keller (Jets) – Brett Favre had 167 passing yards Sunday and Keller had 107 of them. Keller had just 136 yards prior to playing the Rams. He has become a bigger target for the Jets in the past few weeks and is turning into a tight end to watch. I am picking him up in my Fantasy Football league right now… you might want to consider it as well.

Eddie Royal (Broncos) – Royal exploded on the scene early this season and after week one had people ready to call him Rookie of the Year. Since then he has been more quietly getting it done week in week out but… he had his best game of the season statistically on Thursday. Royal had 6 catches for 164 yards and leads all rookies in receptions and receiving yards. Of course on Sunday when he had 164 yards…I had him sitting on my bench. I will play him this week so expect him to get a sprained ankle… sorry Eddie.

Matt Forte (Bears) – On Sunday Forte was the Bears offense. I should know I played against him and every other NFL player who had a career day this past Sunday in Fantasy. Forte had 126 of the Bears 243 total yards including a 5-yard touchdown pass. Forte is now just 10 yards behind Chris Johnson for the lead in rookie rushing yards.

DeSean Jackson (Eagles) – The Eagles are making use of Jackson’s athleticism. He’s returning punts, has been McNabb’s number one receiver. In the first quarter Sunday they lined him up in shotgun as he took the snap and ran it in from 9 yards out, this time being sure not to get a case of premature ejaculation…err, celebration.

Kevin Smith (Lions) – On Sunday Smith just fell short of his first 100-yard rushing day, kind of like how the Lions fall short in every possible way. He had 96 yards on 23 carries for the woeful Lions. He scored his 5th touchdown which puts him tied for 2nd among rookie RB’s. I am putting the chances of a 0-16 season by the Lions at 60-40 right now. I would put it much, much higher but I have a feeling that the Lions (who always out perform on Thanksgiving) will be able to pull one out before the end of the season.

Tim Hightower (Cardinals) – Hightower had his first start last week and topped 100 yards for the first time this year. Well, his encore was not nearly as impressive. He rushed for just 22 yards on 13 carries but the Cardinals still won 29-24 over the 49ers. Hightower has eclipsed The Edge at this point and has shown that he can carry the load for The Buzzsaw. I am very high on this guy. He is my new Marshawn Lynch.

BenJarvus Green-Ellis and Associates; Law Firm LLC (Patriots) – Or The Firm as he should be called will be the hot waiver wire pickup in fantasy leagues if he’s still available. BenJarvus rushed for 105 yards on 26 carries and put the game against the Bills away with a 1-yard touchdown run in the 4th quarter. Green-Ellis now has a touchdown in four straight games. He gets another chance to impress tomorrow night on in front of a not quite national audience on a channel no one gets. Should be great.

Thanks for coming and suckling on Daddy's Sugar Ball. Please feel free to comment or to email me at billybearcat@gmail.com

Bearcat